NOT DOING MY JOB...

Lylah has still been having a lot of issues with her bowels and tummy..

Last week, we saw our family physician. Actually, we didn't see him, we saw his very arrogant "resident doctor". As I listed my concerns with Lylah, she pretty much laughed in my face..

No need to get into details, but she basically told me that, alternating constipation/diarrhea, daily tummy aches that cause tears, gas, excessive thirst and sleeping a lot are all quite normal for a 2 year old.
I ended up storming out of the office in tears stating that they were idiots.. (oops!)
Later that day, they called and said that they were arranging for a follow up with a pediatrician.

I was happy. Don't get excited, happiness didn't last long.

Yesterday, we met with the pediatrician.. Actually, we didn't see him, we saw his very arrogant "resident doctor". (sound familiar?)
Again, as I listed my concerns with Lylah, she smirked and looked at me like I was an idiot.
Again, she stated that "all of these things are quite normal".

I want to share with you what she "thinks"...
Lylah won't eat because: I give her too much to drink. She's filling up on drinks.
Lylah isn't thirsty all the time: she's just used to having drinks.
Lylah is constipated because: I am not giving her proper meals.
Lylah doesn't really have diarrhea on those alternating days: it is, in fact a back up from the constipation that oozes out.. (Even though it can fill a diaper and go right up her back,, it's just backup.. sure!)
Lylah has dark circles under her eyes because: she has environmental allergies and unfortunately she'll just have to live with that..
Lylah pees excessive amounts because: I give her way too much to drink.

So.. my appointment then turned into a parenting 101 class, taught by some idiot doctor who doesn't even have children (I asked!) Apparently her text books have more knowledge than a mother's instinct or experience.

So. here are her recommendations..

I should make my children sit at the table for no less than 20 minutes, If she doesn't eat her dinner, she gets (get this) NOTHING to eat or drink for the rest of the night.

I shouldn't give my children a drink with their meals. Food only.

I should only be giving my children one or two drinks A DAY. It should only be water, milk or diluted fruit juice.

Children shouldn't be able to have a drink available to them at all times..

She then told me that I really need to figure my daughters diet out because she's in the 10th percentile for her weight. She stated that this "concerned" her and she was a little worried about undernourishment.

I don't know if you as mothers would feel the same way as I did while sitting in that office, but I felt like someone was repeatedly kicking me in the gut.
I felt like these doctors were looking at me, thinking that I'm not feeding my daughter and that I'm not doing a good job as a mother. That the reason my daughter is having health problems is because of things that I am or am not doing.

It was horrifying, and it was definitely on the top 5 list for worst moments of my life.
I have never felt so discouraged and "little" in all my life.

So, now I have a 2 year old who weighs 22lbs, has constant diarrhea/constipation, constant belly aches, dark under eye circles, gas, and no one who wants to help her..

On top of that, it looks like she's got a mommy who isn't taking very good care of her at all...

I've decided that I'm pretty much done with "physicians"...
I've also decided that as a "bad mommy" I am not prepared to accept any of these issues as NORMAL. I am not going to accept that my daughter doesn't feel good every day, and I'm not going to sit back and let the doctors fluff it off because they really have no clue what it might be.

I am now looking into finding some natural practitioners, food allergists etc. that can give insight.
In the meantime, I'm interested in hearing any suggestions or input that any of you might have.. Any personal experiences or advice would be appreciated..
Thanks in advance..
XO

Miss the kids... really??

Would I sound like a terrible person if I said that I don't miss my kids when they're not with me?

Would I?

I've been having some serious mommy guilt since last weekend..

We spent the weekend with a loved one in the hospital. We had to leave the girls early Saturday afternoon and we didn't get home until early Sunday evening. (It wasn't like it was 2 weeks)
As we were starting our day on Sunday morning, Peter looked at me and said "I'm really missing the girls".....

I didn't respond...

I sat there thinking "REALLY?!!"

Is that horrible?

I really didn't miss them..
I knew that they were in very good hands, they were safe, and healthy, and probably having more fun than they would be having if we were home with them..
Me.. I was peaceful.

Yes, I was in a hospital with someone who is very close to me that is very sick, but I was peaceful.

I wasn't chasing anyone. I wasn't yelling. I wasn't listening to my name being screamed every 2 seconds. I wasn't wiping noses, or bums.I peed by myself, My coffee was still hot as I drank it, and I read a WHOLE magazine in one sitting.....

I was peaceful....I wasn't missing the girls..

And then SUPER DAD goes and ruins it by saying that he misses them..

I felt bad, so I tried to miss them, but I couldn't.
I was enjoying my time away, even if I wasn't in the most ideal place or situation..and yes, if given the choice, I would much rather be with the girls. I didn't have a choice though, and I didn't miss them.

Does that make me horrible??

POUTINE, DOCTORS and the DEVIL!

I've debated what to say, or how to jump back in to the world of blogging.

In some ways I feel that I owe everyone some sort of explanation as to where I've been for two months, but in another way, I don't feel like I really need to go there..

So... I think I'm just going to dive back in with my Friday Five. Without going into too much detail, it will still give you an idea of where my life is right now and where the heck I've been.. The main thing that everyone should know is that I'm healthy, my kids are healthy, my hubby is healthy, and we're all still relatively sane!

Here we go.. (Things I've learned since I've been gone)

1. I LOVE BAKING !! ~ Ok, so this is something that I already knew, but my love has been renewed.  When something you do, even something as small as baking, puts a smile on someones face, it can renew your love very quickly. I started baking again to put a smile on someone else's face, and soon realized that it was putting one on mine as well. Now I'm baking almost daily.. Love it!

2. BEST POUTINE=HOSPITAL CAFETERIA~ Why is it that all hospital cafeterias have the best french fries? Seriously! I remember from having my babies that the fries were amazing, but now having tried the poutine?! My gosh! Forget McDonald's and Wendy's, from now on when I'm hungover and craving junk, you'll find me at the hospital cafeteria.. (no, not really!)

3. FAMILY~ Family is everything. Family can also really suck. Something that I've learned over the last little while is that "family" isn't always blood. Family is: friends that pop up when you need a hug, friends that send a message to let you know they're thinking of you when you're convinced that no one is, and family are the people that want to be in your life.  I found a quote that sums it up.. "Family isn't always about who's blood you have, it's about who you care about"... Yes my family is great, but some of my friends have proven lately that they are more like family..

4. IUD = DEVIL ~ Yep. I said it.. It's the devil,(My hubby would say that it made me the devil) and it's gone.. I'm sure most of you remember my posts, deciding what kind of birth control that I was going to choose. Let's just say this.. I made the wrong choice!! I think that I will do a post on why, another day, but for now, if anyone is considering the Mirena IUD.... DON'T DO IT!

5. DOCTORS ARE MORONS ~ Okay, maybe not all doctors, but most that I have come into contact with lately.. I'm still struggling with issues that Miss Lylah is having.. The doctor seems to think that constipation, daily sore belly, extreme thirst, dark circles under the eyes, and lots of gas are normal things for a 2 year old to be experiencing. So.. off to the natural doctors we go.. At least they listen!

Okay,,, I have a 6th today....

6. TIME=MEMORIES ~ Please never take it for granted. Every day that we get to spend with our loved ones is a bonus.. as cheesy as it sounds, a gift. Don't take it for granted. Make the most out of your days. Make the most of every minute that you get to spend with the people you love. Take pictures,  and take in everything you can.. We're so blessed right now to be making memories with someone who is very close to us. We don't know how much time we have, but we DO know that we will cherish every single second we have. We DO know we have memories that can never be replaced.. I challenge all of you to do the same with your loved ones, because, after all,, no one really knows what tomorrow will bring..

Have a great weekend everyone.. it's great to be back.
XOXO