If someone told you that their 14 month old wasn't talking yet, not even "mama", "dada", or even "no", what would your thoughts be?? I'm not asking what you would say to the mother, but what your thoughts would be?
Would you be the type to think that every baby is different, and does things at different speeds? Would you think that something was definitely wrong, or would you wonder if it was normal but not really judge either way??
I know that a lot of us would like to think that we would pick option A. We would think that every baby is different, and that it's not a big deal. Realistically though, I think that a lot of us would wonder if something was wrong.
Before I had children, I definitely would have gasped, wondered what was wrong. 14 months, and the child wasn't even saying mama yet? Honestly, probably even after having Gracie, I would have thought the same way. She was babbling away at about 6 months.
That was when I was ignorant!
That was before I knew that every child is so different, and that there are so many factors that may effect different milestones in a child's life.
That was before I had a 14 month old who doesn't talk! (did you just gasp??!! You better not have!!) lol
It's a funny thing, every time I tell someone that she doesn't talk, and even as I type it, I feel like I have to continue to justify it with an explanation. That I should find a way to get that wide eyed terror look off of people's faces! I feel like I have to explain that she understands every word I say, and that she can actually say "uh oh!" and that if I try hard enough I can get her to say "ma ma ma ma and da da da da". I feel like I have to justify it by saying that she has walked since before she was 12 months old, and she can point to her nose, her belly and that she can pretend to wash her hair when I tell her too.. That she can scale baby gates and feed my dog. I feel like I have to explain that Gracie talks for her and she really has no need to talk yet. I can justify it all I want, but at the end of the day, my 14 month old still doesn't talk. I shouldn't have to justify it, I shouldn't feel like people "need" an explanation.. But I do! Why??
Gracie was over 15 months old when she started walking. I don't think she really even crawled until she was over a year. She used to sort of slither across the floor,, pull herself around with her arms. Like an army crawl. I realize now, she was just very content with sitting on the floor and playing.. She was lazy! She had no reason to get up and walk around. At the time, I struggled with the fact that all of the other kids her age, and some that were younger were running circles around her.
I hear comments all the time, people saying things like "I heard of this one kid that didn't walk until they were like 15 months old. I hope my child isn't like that!"
Yes, it's an ignorant thing to say, but it's reality. People say these things, people think these things, and that is why we feel the need to defend what our child "isn't" doing?
I always speak up and tell people that Gracie didn't walk until almost 16 months, and that she is now no different than any other 3 year old. Usually at that point, peoples faces go read and their heads drop.
If only people thought before they spoke!
As nice as that would be, this is something that isn't likely to change. I'm sure all of us are guilty of speaking before we think, especially when it comes to our children, and gloating around other parents about what they are doing!
Every child progresses, develops, matures and grows at different paces. They aren't all going to follow the "book".. I guess it's time that we stop expecting them to, and time to stop feeling like we have to defend them if they aren't right up to the speed of everyone else.
Like one of my friends moms says, "by the time they get to college, they'll all be walking, talking, and potty trained!"
I think that is what we have to stop and remember. That, as well as the fact that it's really no one else's concern what our children are or are not doing.
Someones child is going to be the first to roll over, to sit up, to eat solids. The first to crawl, to walk, to talk, to be potty trained, to learn their alphabet and to tie their shoes. There will be the first to learn all of their shapes and numbers. There will also be the last one to do all of these things!
Maybe just maybe the kid who talks last, will be the first to tie her shoes. Maybe she'll be the first to say her alphabet and get chosen to speak in front of the class. We just don't know!
And really... at the end of the day, does it matter??
The old saying goes "Be careful what you wish for!", I'm sure in another month or two, I will be on here asking you ladies how to make an 18 month old stop talking. I remember when Gracie started walking, the only thing that I wanted was for her to sit down!
For now though, I'll probably continue to worry that my 14 month old doesn't talk.
That's normal, isn't it?!!
Have any of you been the mother of the "kid who doesn't talk"? (or walk, or sit up, or crawl etc......)
Have a great night ladies! Talk to you all tomorrow!