It's not easy being a mother. If it were easy, fathers would do it. ~From the television showThe Golden Girls
Oh, What a perfect subject today! Let me just start by saying that I am sitting down to write this after just getting home from lunch at McDonalds (Don't judge!)lol and shopping at Walmart (again,don't judge) lol Needless to say,, I'm more than ready to let off some steam.. My journey to Walmart will have it's own blog next week!
It's funny, so many of the comments that I have received, whether on here or through private emails discuss "DADDY". So many of us wonder why they just "don't get it"? Get what?? EVERYTHING!!! I love my husband more than anyone in the world, that has never been an issue. Some days though, I catch myself wondering how in the world he ended up like this!! I've thought about it a lot lately, and I think that what I have realized is that he hasn't changed a bit, he's always been this way. That is the problem!!! You see,, one of the things about "parenting" that bothers me the most is that our (mommies) lives change so much, so fast. Mens don't seem to change. Yes, I guess to a certain extent, they do, but not like ours! I think that the easiest way to put all of this into words, is like this:
MY HUSBAND: still goes to the gym every day,still plays golf all summer, still meets the boys after work for drinks on Friday, still pees by himself, still showers by himself, still works on little projects in the garage, still manages to eat his whole dinner in peace, still gets to watch his UFC fights,still gets to have adult conversations every day,finishes work at 5pm,has weekends, gets holidays. I could go on and on.. just in case he reads this though, I better stop while I'm ahead! :)
ME: I can't even find 20 minutes for the stepper, I get dinner (not drinks) with the girls a few times a YEAR,I pee with the door open and usually with a child on my lap, never shower alone (and like one comment states,,, it's not like the good old days when it was our hubby in there) I find my biggest project figuring out how to keep my 1 year old in her high chair or how to make a bird out of Playdoh, I eat a forkful of food between getting a juice, catching flying food or wiping hands (OR putting my one year old back in her high chair), I read stories and answer the question "why?" about 100 times a day, I don't finish "work" until my head hits the pillow, I don't get weekends or holidays...or sick days!!
It's easy to feel sorry for yourself when you get going! But seriously, when was the last time that you got to read a magazine,,, like a WHOLE magazine or newspaper without being interrupted? Men just take theirs to the washroom and come out when it's done! Can you imagine what would happen if we did that??!
Again, I know that I shouldn't complain. This is what I have signed up for, this is what I wanted. I chose to not go back to work, I should be happy with this "deal". (For those of you that work on top of being a mommy, I raise my glass to you, you must all be superwomen! Although, you DO get to pee by yourself!)lol My hubby is great, I really can't complain. He does a lot of the groceries, a lot of the cooking and he usually even gets up on Saturday morning and makes breakfast and coffee before I'm up. He doesn't care that laundry isn't done or that the dishwasher STILL hasn't been emptied, but sometimes he says and does things that just really aren't SMART! I think the best to date, is when he asked me "why don't you have any patience for her?" Really??! I think that I saw red! YOU WANNA SEE PATIENCE??!!! lol Why don't I have patience? Hmm,,, let me think.... Oh, I don't know, maybe because I'm on hour 12 of terrible two tantrums and a 1 year old climbing anything that she can! Or maybe because it's 6pm and I haven't had 2 seconds to myself today?? Maybe because I never sleep sound because my ears always seem to be turned on during the night "just in case"!! Is it just me, or was that a really DUMB thing to ask?! I think him asking me that, was the day that I realized "they just don't get it". They don't get how tired we are, or what our days consist of, they don't get that maybe we'd just like a hug or a "Thanks for everything you do", a day at the spa, a dinner out.. They don't get that our lives have been turned upside down along with our hormones and our bodies. We should probably just throw our hands up in the air now and give in, because they JUST DON'T GET IT!!
My next question though, is, who's fault is it that they don't get it? When you sit and really think about it, I think we're probably the ones to blame. (I might be in for an argument with that comment, right?) We let them away with it! I know we don't control them, and they usually do what they want anyway, but I know for myself, I've never left him longer than a few hours with both kids. When I do go, I make sure that I have everything he needs ready. Snacks are ready, pjs are out, diapers and wipes are where he can see them, he doesn't have to bathe them...how much easier can I make it for him?? The smart thing to do, would be to walk out the door, and be on our way.. What's the worst that could happen, right? We make things so easy for them, and then we complain that they have no clue! Duh,, maybe we're the dumb ones?! I'm usually such a grump by the time that I am walking out the door for a girls dinner. Simply because I've been running around for an hour doing everything that I can to make "parenting" simple for my husband! Who makes it simple for us?
Another thing that I am famous for, is rushing home. Why do we do that? My hubby says "go do what you have to do" (usually during nap time!) I get so excited! Awesome, a couple of hours to just go do what I HAVE to do! Groceries, drug store, maybe the mall.. After about 45minutes, the anxiety sets it. I better get home! What if one of them woke up? What if something is wrong, what if, what if, what if!!! And... there goes my time out,,, home I go to save my husband, who might I add, is always just fine!
At the end of the day, how can we blame THEM?? We've created them!! I'm not the only one that has done this because I've talked to a lot of you that have admitted to doing all of the same things. I wonder if we make them feel incapable when we do this? I think that I would be insulted if my husband thought that I couldn't handle things without him "holding my hand"... hmmm. maybe another blog topic?
I think that I should probably quit while I'm ahead, this subject could go on forever. I guess men probably will never "Get It", but in their defense,, if they don't have to, why would they?
*Have a great weekend ladies! I look forward to hearing from all of you! Hopefully we'll get some new names joining in on these discussions!! If you don't want to comment, but you're reading, (which is Awesome!) could you do me a favour and let me know that you're following by hitting the "follow" button up top on the right? Even if you want to put an anonymous name in. I probably won't keep up with the blogs as much if I don't have enough following... Thanks so much! (I won't stop,, just may not do them every single day)*