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Friday, February 4, 2011

The 5 Hardest Things About Being a Mom

There are so many hard things about being a mom!! What are the hardest, though?? Could you pick if you had to?? 

For me, as you all already know, it's not just  the temper tantrums, the sleepless nights, the potty training. It's not the teething or buckling the car seats! It's the inner struggles that are hard for me. I think the hardest part of being a mommy, is the emotional and psychological turmoil that comes along with it.

There was an article in Redbook Magazine that agreed with me!! It stated these at the 5 Hardest Things About Being a Mom. Listed below are the 5 things and MY take on them!

1.When you don't like your kid ~ sounds horrible, doesn't it??! But really, it's true. We all have those days that we'd like to lock "those little angels" in a room and run away!! There are days that we yell and fight, days that we say or do things we shouldn't. At the end of the day though, It's okay!! We can yell at them, and want them out of our faces, and STILL love them with all that we have! We're allowed to have these moments! It's healthy! It doesn't mean that we won't feel guilty at the end of the day. Just remember,, you're allowed, and try to remember that we can only get REALLY mad at people that we REALLY care about!! It's all part of the journey!

2.Letting Dad Parent Too! ~ it's so easy for us to complain that they don't do enough, and that they get off easy, but so many times we don't "let" daddy be daddy!! If we "micro manage" every little thing they do, if we question every move they make, we're not really doing them ourselves any favours, are we?
I know a girl that questions everything her boyfriend does with their child. "did you put cream on her bum? Do you have her coat? You didn't let her eat that did you? Don't take your eyes off of her!, Are you sure you're going to be okay?" My gosh,, let the guy be a dad! Can you imagine if someone was over our shoulder with everything we did? I would be insulted if my husband didn't think that I was capable of looking after our child. No one "showed" us how to do it, and we made out okay! It's good for the daddy to gain the confidence and it's probably even better for our children to experience all of the different aspects of love and parenting. Things aren't ALWAYS going to be done the way that WE do it, and that is OKAY!!
Next time you find yourself questioning daddy, remember that as long as his what he's doing isn't  dangerous,, just let him go!! Another thing to remember is that you're showing great respect for him and probably avoiding a fight by stopping yourself from criticizing him!
Plus~ If you let him do it,, you get a break!

3.Separation Anxiety (yours)~ This one is a HUGE one!!! I'm trying to think of the best example to use. Whether it be leaving them with someone overnight, or dropping them off at Nursery School for the first time (or every time). So many times we dread it because we worry about "their" little feelings and their emotions when in reality we're probably more worried about ourselves. It's us who cries and worries the whole time. Chances are, even if our child had a meltdown when we dropped them off, they stopped crying long before we did! They are FINE!!! They are adapting to the new situation or environment which is going to help them SO much in the long run. By leaving them, we are allowing them to become independent, and if we keep avoiding situations that we have to leave them,,, we are creating very,very dependent little creatures and we'll pay for it down the road! If you can't do it for yourself, do it for your children!!!
I know the first time that I dropped Gracie off at daycare, I went to the car and cried .(only for a second)  I did worry the whole time with "what if, what if!", but once I realized that I was getting a little bit of MY independence back,, and that she was just fine,, it got a lot easier!! Now I'm Mommy to a 3 year old "Little Miss Independent!"

4. Accepting your Child's Failures ~ There are so many different levels of this one, and so many different examples. I guess it depends on the age of the child. In the article they use sports as an example. You may want your child to be a Pro swimmer, but your child just wants to take swimming lessons, or you want your child to be cast as the lead role in a play and they get the worst role their is. You thought your child would be popular and they turned out to be a follower. Or,, when they're younger,, they don't walk or talk as fast as other children their age. They're the last to be able to print their name or know their letters..  
Regardless of the age or stage, they say it's normal to feel these "disappointments" when our kids don't meet our (or societies) expectations. (Thank God,, I AM normal!) 
Basically we are supposed to realize that each of our children are so unique and if we really look, they all have their own talents! Next time we catch ourselves wishing they had done better at whatever they are doing, we should stop and be proud that they are trying and that they are doing the best they can.

5.Learning to Let Go~ I think that this one is very similar to number 3. We all want to keep our children safe. That is our job, right?! How many of us go overboard with that though?? I know lots of mommies and daddies that barely let their child move to ensure that they don't get hurt.  A good example of this is my husband. He never learned how to swim because his mom never let him in the water. She was frightened because he didn't know how to swim, she was also worried that because of his bad ears, the water might cause an ear infection. I can see her concern, and I don't blame her at all, however now I have a husband (with 2 little girls) who can't swim and has a terrible fear of water. So.. now, I have to make sure that this fear isn't passed on and that he lets my girls learn how to swim. (I'm thinking about sending the 3 of them to swimming lessons together! lol)
We have to let our kids do some things that terrify us, to ensure that they are learning and growing..
There are moms that won't take their kids on a plane because it "might" crash. They don't let their kids go down the slide because they "might" fall off.  I could think of a million examples,, but does it make sense what I'm saying? We could drive ourselves completely crazy (if we haven't already) worrying about what might/could happen to our children. If we don't let them explore/attempt though, how are they ever going to learn, how are they ever going to become their own little independent people. We also don't want to be passing these fears down to our children. We can't raise our kids in a bubble!! We can only make sure that we do our best to keep them safe..

So,, that is my take on the 5 Hardest Things About Being a Mom. I'm no expert and I don't claim to know everything. They are just my opinions.

 What do you ladies think? Can you relate to any of them? Are any of these points your weakness?? Do you disagree with anything I've said? (I hope so!)
Have a great weekend,, I'm just getting ready to go to the eye doctor with my princess. Wish us luck and I will update all of you when we get home! Thanks for the support.

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