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Thursday, February 3, 2011


I know that I was supposed to talk about something completely different today,, but things change in a Mommy's world,, and today I need some advice/support from all of you.
Tomorrow, I will cover the 5 hardest things about being a mom,,, but for right now I need an outlet!

So, last night, I got the girls their supper, and we all sat down to eat. I was sitting directly across from Gracie like I always do. She said something to me and when I looked up at her, I had to do a double take.
Her left eye was turned in. I guess I would say that she was Cross eyed.... The right eye was looking right at me, but the left was turned in. Not completely, but definitely enough that I noticed right away.

Of course,, panic sets in! And.. of course my husband wasn't home because he was at someone else's house helping them with something!!!Grrrr.
Before completely freaking out, I tried to think calmly and I didn't want to scare her..
I asked her if her eyes were sore or if they were bothering her. She looked at me like a complete idiot and said "NO!"...
I then told her to cover up her good eye, and made her follow my finger with the bad one. She did perfect but after a couple of times,, she started rubbing her eye, almost like it hurt..
I'm not going to lie, I was completely freaking on the inside, and I'm really not one of those mommies that freaks out over the little things (not that there is anything wrong with that)
She seemed perfectly fine otherwise, no fever or headache, and she seemed to have a normal energy level..

So now what? I did the only thing that was logical at this point..
Of course, she was all calm and told me that one of her kids had the same thing when they were small, and it was nothing. Not to worry. (uh yeah, okay! A little late for that)
BUT, you know when you can hear that little bit of worry in someone else's voice?? Yeah,, I could hear it! That is when she suggested calling Telehealth "just in case!"
Telehealth!!! WHY????!! What could it be??? Not a good thing to say to an already panicking mother!!
I gave it some thought, and decided not to call.
That by the way was my bad mommy move of the day. The only reason that I didn't call was because I was scared!!

I decided that I would watch her for the night and if I noticed even the smallest thing, I would take her to be seen. She was fine though.
I put her to bed with extra hugs and kisses. (isn't it funny how something like this makes you "love" them just a little more?? lol) I then came downstairs and started going through photos like a madwoman!!!
Maybe it's always been like this? Maybe because I'm a BAD MOMMY, I have just never noticed..
I also called my mom to ask if her or my dad had noticed it before. Of course they said no.
I called Peter, not smart! The only thing that I could hear from him was the panic in his voice too!
I just wanted someone, ANYONE to tell me that they had noticed it with her before. If someone had noticed it, than this wasn't sudden, and it definitely wasn't as scary!
I looked through some more pictures and I found a couple that I could see (just slightly) her eye pointing in.
That made me feel better..
Of course I got on the internet and started searching,, such a STUPID thing to do! (You all do it! Don't say you don't!)

OK,, so long story short! I have an appointment for her tomorrow at 11:15am with the eye doctor. I confirmed with her teacher this morning that I wasn't losing my mind. She could see it too. Unfortunately though, she said that she has never noticed it before!! Ahhhh!!
My heart is literally breaking. It might sound like such a small thing to you ladies,, but it feels huge to me right now.. My heart hurts for her. My heart hurts when I look at her.
My children are perfect! They always have been, they always will be!! So,, what is going on? Why is she going to have to go through this?? I keep hoping that when I pick her up from school today,, it will be fine,, like it will have just disappeared.
Have any of you ladies experienced anything like this? Do you know anyone that has? I'm looking for some support,, for someone who might know what happens next, what will happen at the eye doctor tomorrow? If there is something wrong,, what will they do to fix it?
Anyone who has anything,, please share!!! Thanks in advance


Lindsay said...

I have known two people that have had similar situations. It could be that her eye is "weak" (not sure if that would be the proper terminology) and she will need to strengthen it. My one friend's daughter had to do exercises daily~ wearing a patch at home just to make the other eye work a little harder.
Thinking of you....Try not to worry.
Gracie will be just fine

Anonymous said...

hey Sar...Tommy's nephew (he was around 4/5) and his one eye was turning in...he did end up wearing a patch for a period of time to try to correct the issue. As your friend above said perhaps the eye is just a little weak. If it makes you feel better (and it won't but I'll share anyway!) my eye has been twitching for WEEKS now...perhaps I should go to the eye doctor too. And don't worry (hard to do I know) but I think around her age they start testing their eyes before entering school...hang in there let us know what they say! Oh & yeah the internet not so good for "googling" an issue - it said I could have a brain tumour...I'm going to go with just being tired.

Mrs.Moose said...

A lot of kids go through this. A girl I work with has a daughter that had the same trouble. The worst thing that would probably happen is Gracie would need glasses, but like all the other girs commented she will probably just need to do some excercises. I agree with Heath...don't google, you always end up with the worst scenario. Feel good about noticing it early, it will be better in no time!

Sarah said...

Thanks ladies!! Usually all of your comments make me feel better,, but it's not working today. Every time I look at her, my eyes fill up with tears...
I know that in the Big Picture,, its not a big deal,, but I just hate that she has to go through it, and I hate the thought of her getting made fun of if she has to get glasses!
When I picked her up from school, her teacher told me that they had a good talk about glasses and she told me that if she needs them, she will start wearing hers.. which is awesome of her, but it just confirmed that something is wrong! I started crying!!! What a geek!! Peter thinks I'm crazy, he doesn't see it, but I think he's in denial..
See,, these are the parts of being a mommy that people don't warn us about!!!

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