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Tuesday, February 15, 2011

I Give Up!!

It's been one of those weeks!!

You know, one of those weeks that you just want to throw your hands up in the air, and say "I GIVE UP!"??
I give up trying to keep my floors clean. I give up trying to get my laundry done.. I give up trying to get my kids to eat. I give up trying to get these silly passport applications filled out. I give up trying to stop the whining. I give up trying to get all the bills paid. I give up trying to put a smile on my face when my hubby comes home at night! I just GIVE UP!!!!!

Yesterday was one of those days that I actually decided "I give up".. I walked around with tears in my eyes most of the day and I admitted that I had finally been defeated..
Screw the laundry, screw making dinner, screw everything..... My girls were fed, they were bathed, in jammies and in bed, and that was enough!! Anything else, I couldn't be bothered with.

There are just some days that I can't pull it together, and yesterday was one of those days at its finest!
I don't know what got me to this point, if anything or anyone.. but it was a horrible feeling.
Maybe it was the pressure of Valentines Day, getting stuff for the girls, getting stuff for Peter. Getting stuff for Gracie to take to school today. All of this on top of the "regular" stuff.
Maybe it was the weather? I really don't know.
I think though, a lot of it was the fact that Peter was grumpy, he was stressed.
Doesn't he know that he's not allowed to be stressed or grumpy?
It sounds silly that something like that would bring me to my breaking point, but he's my rock, he's the one that keeps me sane, and strong when I have a bad day everyday!!
I should be able to switch roles for him, support him when he's having a bad day, but for some reason, I can't. Instead, I get mad at him for being stressed and grumpy!! That really helps things!!! LOL

So, now I've got all of the regular everyday stresses and a grumpy stressed out husband. What do I do? I give up!!!
Then I sit and think to myself,,,, really?? What am I going to do?
 How am I going to give up?
Am I going to run away? Am I really going to stop doing the laundry, paying bills or cleaning the floors?? (Doubt it!) Am I really just going to keep giving my kids hotdogs so that I don't have to fight with them about food? (maybe!)

I woke up this morning and thought to myself: I have two options, good day or bad day??! I've chosen good day today. I've chosen to suck it up, pull myself together and deal with it. I had my day that I pouted and cried, felt sorry for myself, but now it's time to turn it all around. Besides, I've got nowhere to go, and no way to change it all, so I just have to face the fact that this is my life now. There are going to be good days, there are going to be bad days, but at least I have days!

That being said, I'm still going to curse as I step over the laundry and clean the floor for the tenth time, and I'm still going to pull my hair out the next time I hear my children whine,, but I'm not going to give up today,, I'm just going to keep trekking!

Thanks for letting me vent.
Oh, and by the way.........when I was driving home from dropping Gracie off at school today, this song came on the radio. It felt like PINK was singing to me and it made me smile for one of the first times in 3 days.. I suggest the next time you're having one of "these" days,, you listen to it,,, It's awesome!!! I'm sure it wasn't meant to be taken the way that I was,, but hey,, it worked for me today....

Here is the video of the lyrics. I was worried that the official video might be offensive to some,, so this allows you to still hear the song!! Have a GREAT day ladies!


Anonymous said...

Ohhhh my friend....Again, I feel like this blog really reflects the day I have been having. Today's crazyness may have been comical to an onlooker but I was ready to pull my hair out. I dont even think re-typing everything that went wrong would be therapeutic at this point....Lets just say that it feels like EVERYTHING I touch today turns into a disaster!!! I too was thinking, I give up!! INstead, I threw the F-bomb infront of it! lol
I just want my house to be a reflection of me...I want it to be nicely decorated...clean, organized. Instead, its mix-matched, unorganized (trust me its not for a lack of trying...I wouldnt wanna see how bad it could be if i actually DIDNT try,....*f*ck!*) and I just feel like no matter how much I try to purge...whether its straight to the trash or recycled onto a friend or goodwill, there still seems to be a surplus of CRAP in every room....It makes me feel sick!! I actually told Lucas on the weekend that if anyone brings anything else into this house (and I was referring mainly to his mother when she gives the boys toys), Im going to punch them in the face. Yes. This hasnt been my best week!! LOL!
Somehow it's 2:15...and even though there are hours upon hours left of the day, I dont even have anything else going on so I have a very BLAH feeling. Now that the winter-winter is lifting a little bit (lighter longer outside) I *MAY* venture out somewhere tonight...maybe the mall?? I just feel like I need to get out of here. In reality I will probably just complain when Lucas gets home and then proceed to stay here....Yep. awesome!!! We'll see
Anyways.....really enjoy your blogs. And regarding Valentines Day, I have to give Lucas full points...a Swavorski purple heart necklace...way too much and not exactly "no frills" wear (which is pretty much the only place I go...) love it but ya...doesnt seem like something I can just wear everyday!! He seems to think I should....Any thoughts?!!


Anonymous said...

We are all there right now I think. I have talked to so many other Mommies who feel like this too! This winter seems to be lasting forever, the kids seem extra whinny, and extra sick, there is just soo much pressure to get the perfect Valentines (I booked a double session at the gym to avoid the disappointment, LOL), and I feel like every week I am secluded from womenkind in a kid filled house!
But, hope you are doing better today, feeling back on your game.
And Kel, I would TOTALLY wear the necklace EVERY place you go! Why not? You got it Flaunt IT!! :)

Anonymous said...

I totally agree---Its nice to know were not alone!!
"Double session at the gym"...??? Im so confused!!! I didnt even know you went to the gym!!? ( I thought you just looked great naturally!!) Good for you,! Me, I just seem to sit here and eat all day!!! And then I wonder why I'm 175lbs! Goodtimes! :)


Angela said...

Great lyrics. I had one of those days here yesterday.....but today is going much better. Sometimes you just have to take it one day at a time I guess!

Sarah said...

Hey Kelly,,, that wasn't me in the above comment!! lol Me go to the gym??!! I WISH!!! My hubby gets that luxury, so when would I??!!!
And for sure where that necklace girl!! Good gawd..... I'd wear it everywhere!!!
I think it's true though ladies, Winter does play a big part in my days! I can't wait until the nice weather comes and I can sit out back with the girls and a book or a drink with my neighbour and really enjoy life again!! This being stuck inside everyday SUCKS!!!!

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