You know, one of those weeks that you just want to throw your hands up in the air, and say "I GIVE UP!"??
Yesterday was one of those days that I actually decided "I give up".. I walked around with tears in my eyes most of the day and I admitted that I had finally been defeated..
Screw the laundry, screw making dinner, screw everything..... My girls were fed, they were bathed, in jammies and in bed, and that was enough!! Anything else, I couldn't be bothered with.
There are just some days that I can't pull it together, and yesterday was one of those days at its finest!
I don't know what got me to this point, if anything or anyone.. but it was a horrible feeling.
Maybe it was the pressure of Valentines Day, getting stuff for the girls, getting stuff for Peter. Getting stuff for Gracie to take to school today. All of this on top of the "regular" stuff.
Maybe it was the weather? I really don't know.
I think though, a lot of it was the fact that Peter was grumpy, he was stressed.
Doesn't he know that he's not allowed to be stressed or grumpy?
It sounds silly that something like that would bring me to my breaking point, but he's my rock, he's the one that keeps me sane, and strong
I should be able to switch roles for him, support him when he's having a bad day, but for some reason, I can't. Instead, I get mad at him for being stressed and grumpy!! That really helps things!!! LOL
So, now I've got all of the regular everyday stresses and a grumpy stressed out husband. What do I do? I give up!!!
Then I sit and think to myself,,,, really?? What am I going to do?
How am I going to give up?
Am I going to run away? Am I really going to stop doing the laundry, paying bills or cleaning the floors?? (Doubt it!) Am I really just going to keep giving my kids hotdogs so that I don't have to fight with them about food? (maybe!)
I woke up this morning and thought to myself: I have two options, good day or bad day??! I've chosen good day today. I've chosen to suck it up, pull myself together and deal with it. I had my day that I pouted and cried, felt sorry for myself, but now it's time to turn it all around. Besides, I've got nowhere to go, and no way to change it all, so I just have to face the fact that this is my life now. There are going to be good days, there are going to be bad days, but at least I have days!
That being said, I'm still going to curse as I step over the laundry and clean the floor for the tenth time, and I'm still going to pull my hair out the next time I hear my children whine,, but I'm not going to give up today,, I'm just going to keep trekking!
Thanks for letting me vent.
Oh, and by the way.........when I was driving home from dropping Gracie off at school today, this song came on the radio. It felt like PINK was singing to me and it made me smile for one of the first times in 3 days.. I suggest the next time you're having one of "these" days,, you listen to it,,, It's awesome!!! I'm sure it wasn't meant to be taken the way that I was,, but hey,, it worked for me today....
Here is the video of the lyrics. I was worried that the official video might be offensive to some,, so this allows you to still hear the song!! Have a GREAT day ladies!