Does anyone else ever struggle with how much life has changed since having kids?
Does the world change? Do our friends change, or is it US that change??
I've been struggling with this a lot lately.. So many things change for the better, things that I would never change back. There are those few things that change though, that I wonder why they had to, if they'll ever go back to "the way they were" (and NO..I'm not just talking about my body)
It seems like although we're so close, we live in two different worlds!
And then there are the friends that have one child while I have two, we live in different worlds too!!
It's like no one can relate anymore. Like we're all "existing", but on different planets. No one is at fault, it's just the way it is!
Really,, how is someone without kids going to understand why we just can't find time to pick up the phone, return an email, or make time for coffee??Why should they understand why we just don't have time to devote to our friendships like we used to?
And.. people with one child KNOW how busy life is with a child, so if they can make time for a play date or dinner, why can't we? How can life with 2 (or more) really be THAT different?
Don't get me wrong, all my friends are amazing, I am surrounded by great people, but some days it's just really hard to find any common ground. It gets frustrating trying to explain that "I'm just too tired" to go to the movies or out for a coffee, that I can't find a babysitter, or that I just don't have any money.
I also struggle with planning outings with other couples.
It's next to impossible to do anything with friends that don't have kids. It's pretty hard to bring the kids and actually enjoy a visit and lets face it, they probably don't want our kids (monsters) running around their nice clean houses anyway.
So,, let's try to plan a fun night with friends that also have kids.
That doesn't work either!
My kids have to be in bed by 8pm, and their kids have to be in bed by 8pm,, so really, whose house are we going to go to??
We could get babysitters, but realistically, we're not going to do that every weekend. I try to save the sitter for nights that are "really" worth it!! (Girls night WOOT WOOT!)
Seriously though, it's easier to just stay home!! Weekends have definitely changed! Life has changed!!
Night visits and outings are the worst, but lately I've been finding it really hard to do anything during the day as well.. Once we all get up, get dressed and have breakfast,, it's usually time for Lylah to have her morning nap. She wakes up, we play a bit, have lunch and then both girls have their afternoon nap. The morning is now gone and most of the afternoon as well. By the time they wake up, it's time to get dinner started,
Maybe I'm feeling sorry for myself, maybe I'm just missing my friends and the way things used to be.
Like I said, I wouldn't trade my girls for anything in the world, or my life.. Maybe, just maybe though, I would like a day, a week or a weekend to just kick back and enjoy (really enjoy) my friends!
Do you ladies have a way that you balance both your family and your friendships? What works for you? Is there a way to have a balance??