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Wednesday, February 16, 2011

NOTHING!!!!

I got asked a question today. A question that might sound pretty simple to some of you. A question that I haven't given much thought to,but when I was asked was very impacted by the answer.


What are you passionate about?


She was referring to life in general. What I want to do with my life. What my purpose is, in this big scary world. I can't figure any of that out and was kind of reaching out for help today.  I was asked, what are you passionate about??!!

My response??!!  "NOTHING"
Nothing? I shocked myself! Thought about it again and confirmed it,, nothing!
Is it strange that there is nothing that I am passionate about? Is it strange that I have no clue how I want to spend the rest of my life?
I'm referring to something outside the house, besides being a mommy and a wife....

I used to be passionate about my job. Now, I have no interest in it.
I have days that I think certain jobs would be "cool" but within a day or two......POOF!! Interest gone!!

I'm passionate about my children (sometimes in a good way ~sometimes not so much lol),, but the fact is, my kids aren't going to be home forever.. When they start school, I need to get my butt back to work. I need to start making money again.
Even now, as much as I love being home, many days, it just isn't enough! It's not enough to make me feel like I'm doing everything I should be. Everything I could be....

I've been struggling with this lately. I've been feeling like I need something "more".  Like there MUST be more to me, to who I am. More than being a wife and a mom.
I feel like I have to find my purpose and do more for myself.. Yet, when I really think about it,, I can't find my passion, there is nothing that I really want to do, nothing that I think will fulfill this need.

Maybe I just don't have time (or energy) to be passionate about anything other than my family right now.
That's sad though isn't it?
Have I completely lost myself during this Motherhood Journey??! It scares me to think that I have, to know that I have.

Next question is, how do I figure it out? How do I dig deep, or reach into myself and find the part of me that isn't mommy and wife and find the person that is passionate about something that I'm going to do for the rest of my life??

I need some help with this one, I know that only I can find it within myself, but am I alone with this? Do all of you still have your "passion"?Do you have something that excites you outside of the house?  A job that you just can't wait to get back to? (not because it's getting out of the house, but because you LOVE your job)
Maybe it's something like a class or hobby??


What are you passionate about??? 

3 comments:

Victoria said...

Sarah, I disagree with you! You DO have a passion right now, OTHER than wife and MOM. Everyday you log on to your computer, you write to all of us and help so many. If you did not have a passion for it, your blogs would reflect that,and you wouldn't get comments that refelct the fact that you are helping so many mommies. No you aren't leaving the house to have a JOB, no your aren't making money, but right now in your situation with your girls at home, and being a super busy MOM, you are helping others, sharing your PASSION with us, your Passion to reach others and HELP! Sometimes our purpose is right under our nose, we just need to realize it. Keep sharing with us, your passion to help others is making sure we don't feel alone in the joureny of motherhood! <3

Sarah said...

Thanks Vicki!!! I am definitely love getting on here and blogging everyday.. I love getting the messages and private emails telling me how much I am helping people even more! I guess depending on ones "definition" of passionate, I might be passionate about this. If I could live my life helping people to "not feel alone", I definitely would, but really,, where and how am I going to accomplish that? Thanks for your comments though, you made my day much brighter!!

Anonymous said...

Sarah, I am way behind on your blogs so I am sitting here tonight and trying to read them all...lol....information overload(lol) Anyway I agree with Vicki and I think you should look into it further, maybe you could start a colum in a newspaper or you could write a book....I really think you have what it takes. You are very passionate and your blogs are very interesting and well put together!!! All the best in whatever you decide to do in life!! Amanda
xoxoxo

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