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Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Am I a bad mama because..........???

Can you believe my week is almost over?? Hopefully you guys have been enjoying these posts while I've been gone. I'm sure I'll have lots to chat about when I get back to make up for a week!!
This is another great post that I came across on Facebook!!  When clicking this link, be sure to check out some of the author's other posts! She is great, I think her and I would be friends!! LOL!

Am I a Bad Mama Because?!?!…

I try hard, I really do. Some days more than others, but hey, at least I’m out there on the field playing the game. That’s got to count for something, right? I know I’ve bitched about a similar topic before, but I really wish some empathic soul would’ve given me a book entitled “The Drama of Being a Mama” or “How To Get Out Alive with Your Sanity Intact”. That would’ve been helpful. Just sayn’.

So for now, I wing it. I make up my own rules and do what I think is right. And most nights, if I don’t crash from exhaustion, I stare at the ceiling fan hanging from my cathedral ceiling in the bedroom, admire the intricate cobwebs I can’t reach, and wonder if my mommy skills are perfectly normal or completely out of whack.

Hummm. I wonder if I’m a Bad Mama because I sometimes…......

*allow Dude to scream “mama!” a dozen times before I rise from my warm bed to save him from the crib.....OF DOOM!

*thinks naptime is a gift from the heavens above.

*stands by the coffee maker, watching it drip, body shaking in anticipation. Much like a crack whore.

*thinks it’s perfectly normal to drop off Little Woman at school wearing monkey-printed pajama pants, fuzzy slippers and a ratty t-shirt.

*tends to consume most of the wine in the house.

*when driving, tends to unconsciously entertain the children while singing a brokeback version of the top 10 pop hits on the radio. They beg me to stop once the ear bleeding begins.

*totally believes in primal scream therapy. When all else fails, let the kid cry his/her heart out until a sense of achievement occurs.

*thinks goldfish crackers are a food group.

*pees with the door open. What’s the point of closing it when, within seconds of me de-panting, I will be surrounded by an audience anyway?

*may go a few days without shaving. Who’s got time for that crap?

*high-fives Little Woman when she recites all the lyrics to “My Humps” by the Black Eyed Peas in perfect tone and pitch.

*has no issue challenging a teacher/doctor/douchebag when they talk out their ass in regards to my kids.

*sometimes, when I need a half-hour of peace, Elmo’s World becomes my babysitter.

*thinks it’s perfectly normal when Little Woman inquires about the status of Kourtney Kardashian and Scott Disick’s relationship.

*thinks after 7 PM, Mama’s quiet time consists of a glass of wine and a Cosmo mag.

*just can’t grasp the concept of cleaning toilets on a daily basis.

*repeats the phrase “really?! You’re killing me” multiple times a day.

*swears some days, if I see one more dirty dish/item of clothing/dirty diaper being thrown into the appropriate sink/hamper/pail for the millionth time, I *will* pull a Charlie Sheen on everyone’s ass!

The list could go on and on. And on. Not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing.

So is there anyone else out there that would like to share their personal mama quarks with me? Or am I the only freaky fish in the sea?

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