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Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Bullying~

I received an email from a friend today, asking me to discuss bullying. I have to admit, I have (fortunately) not had to "deal" with this topic directly. YET!
I have been hearing the word  more and more of it recently and I have to tell you, it terrifies me that Gracie is starting school in September and may have to face some of these situations.

After reading this email, and also hearing a couple of other incidents lately, I can tell you that I am not going to be  a parent that thinks her child is perfect~I hope that if one of my girls ever hurts another child in any way, I would be made aware of it. Also, I will not be a parent that sits back and waits for a bad situation to pass.. I am disgusted that this stuff goes on, and even more disgusted that some parents/teachers watch it happen and do nothing to stop it. I WILL not be a mommy that worries about what the kids, teachers or other parents think of me. That I can promise!!!

There are certain situations yes, that I think kids have to work through and figure out on their own without Mommy and Daddy's help. They are going to be faced with all of the same situations that we were as kids. Situations that we made it through just fine.
I would never want my child to be one "of those kids" that threatens her parents on everyone. The "I'll tell my mommy!" kid. However,, if one of my girls ever comes home and says that they have been called Fat, or has been physically touched, I can guarantee you that I will be on the child's doorstep and their parents will be aware of it. Those are two things (among many) that I cannot handle..

When kids are out playing and other kids think it's fun to push, shove, kick and bully a kid,, that is just not right! When did this become okay?? I've even heard of situations where other parents and or teachers are standing around, watching, doing nothing to stop it.
Who is right? Who is wrong? Is it the childs fault if no one is teaching them any different??
Parents continue to defend their children by saying it is a game, or that they're just having "fun". REALLY???? It's a game when their is a child being physically hurt? Do you think it's fun for the kid laying on the ground? C'MON people!


In my opinion, in a situation like this, the (other kid's) parents fault!
Seriously, people in that situation need to stop and think about what they would have done had that been their child laying in the mud being kicked. Would it be "a game" then? Doubt it!
Those parents who didn't react are probably the ones that would make the biggest deal if it was their child.
Who just stands there, and watches their child (or a child in their care) physically hurting someone else?? Game or not, I would never sit and watch my child kick another in the ribs. (unless they called her FAT!..lol. not funny, I know!)
Seriously though, whatever happened to teaching the line ~ "Keep your hands to yourself"??
If parents would stick together, work together with these things, it would make life much easier for everyone.
I know that it's easy to say what we WOULD HAVE done if we were in the situation but i like to think that I would have said something to the parents and asked them what they would have done if it was their child. That being said, I know when you're in the situation it's almost like shock and we never react the way we think we would.


That is again, my opinion! I can't wait to hear everyone else's feelings on this!
Where are all of you ladies that left comments in the beginning??!!!!  We want to hear from you!

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

again back in my head!! I was just reading an article in a magazine Tommy brought home - it was about this woman that felt like years after being tormented in school to the point where she changed schools...she felt like her life was still impacted by the bullies. Anyway, after reading it I said to Tommy "I hope our kids don't get bullied"....and seriously I wasn't the greatest kid - we had a group of "friends" where it seemed like every other week it was ok to hate and pick on one of us - & yes I had my share of being the "chosen" one too! but now a days it seems like a whole new ballgame especially with cyberbullying, all these social media outlets seem to let loose the worst in kids. I am NOT looking forward to some of the years ahead but like you I definitely won't be sitting back letting my child's life be hell.

Mrs.Moose said...

This subject terrifies me!! I grew up in the house of "just ignore it", "what goes around comes around", and many more. My mom was just doing her best, but unfortunately it didn't teach me to stick up for myself. I have vowed that I will do everything I can to empower my kids to stick up for themselves, and to treat others the way they would like to be treated. We already had an incident this year with Keagan punching a grade 3 (he is in JK). I didn't really know how to react b/c from what I know of him he is not an agressive child. However I was not going to play the "my child would never do that" game. We had a few talks with him about he situation and in the end found out the grade 3 threatened to punch him, and Keagans' response was "so I punched him first". I didn't punish him, because I felt he thought he was threatened and this was what HE thought he had to do. I do not condone what he did, but I was a little relieved to know that maybe he won't just sit there and take it.
Now in the back of my head I was thinkin "that's right my kid kicked a punk grade 3's ass".....but would never tell him this. Maybe I am raising stronger kids that I was?

Victoria said...

This is a great blog Sarah. It is so hard to know what to do when kids are getting / being bullied. I have been trying very hard to ensure that my boys are the kinda kids that don't bully, I can't stand the thought of my boys picking on other kids. I always tell my boys that if they ever see a little person at school who looks lonley or is being mad fun of to help that friend out by offering to be a friend. At a parent teacher interview my middle son's JK teacher informed us that He was the only little person that ever included a "shy little asian girl" in all the play time activities, made us SO proud! Unfortunately tho, he is the one who always gets picked on by the older ones at the park, because he is shy around bigger people kids. I think Mrs.Moose is right, we need to make sure that our kids can defend them selves, but at the same time being able to still care for others. Such a fine line, and as parents I am sure we all try to make sure the kids stay on it.
Thanks again Sarah, great topic!

Sarah said...

I'll be honest and tell you that this is a subject that terrifies me as well.
I wasn't a great kid either, and I can remember being the one that not necessarily bullied other kids, but I wasn't the nicest girl in the school, lets put it that way.
I think the difference for me though was that my parents wouldn't put up with it. Not in any way, shape or form. If someone said something to them about it, I heard about it. My parents weren't the ones to sit back and think they had perfect kids, they did all of us a favour by trying to fix the problem.
That being said, they also tried to teach us to stick up for ourselves... I think that there is difference between,, a "take no shit" kid, and a bully. Obviously no one is perfect and there will be days that all of our kids will be less than perfect,, but all we can do is work on it and pray that things work out for the best.

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