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Monday, April 11, 2011

New Time Out Mamma!!!

I always said that I would "never" put my kids in time out.
I don't know why, I never had a good reason, never really gave it much thought, it just wasn't something I wanted to do with my kids.
Maybe it was because I was never put in time out as a kid. My parents never had to.. Good lord, we knew that tone in their voice, and if we heard it, we disappeared before they could get to us.

After this past week, and being at my wits end with Gracie, I gave in to "time out"..
I figured out that sending her to her room isn't a punishment because that is her safe place. No, she doesn't like being sent there, but it was never really a big deal, and after 5 minutes she'd just be singing away in her bed.
So,, I gave in! I moved her favourite little pink chair into the hallway. The hallway that is around the corner from our kitchen/family room. The chair sits between the laundry room and the powder room and when she's in it,, she really can't see anything.
She HATES it!!!!! (insert evil laugh!)
Whenever she does something deserving of "the chair", I don't say a word, I just pick her up and walk her over to the chair. I sit her down in it, and I walk away. She kicks, and screams, yells for Daddy to come save her and throws what ever is in reach. We just keep going back to her and tell that when the screaming and yelling stops,then we'll start thinking about her coming off the chair.
When she finally quiets down, I go to her, ask her why she was put there and then ask her if she has anything to say. I always get a sorry and a hug.... (and then my heart melts and I feel horrible!)

We don't call it "time out", we just say "you'll go to the pink chair!"
It was kind of funny because I actually saw her catching herself a couple of times over the weekend. She would "almost" have a fit, and then stop and say "I don't wanna go to the pink chair, do I mommy?" lol..
This was after only about 3 times in the chair!!

This morning, we didn't have one single fight. She didn't act out or end up in the chair once!

Could it really have been that easy all along?? Is this all I had to do??
What do you ladies use as punishment methods?? What works best for you, and are there any TimeOut tips that I should know about? Is it REALLY this easy?

I found these tips on http://mamamoderne.com/2011/03/07/time-out/. Apparently I haven't been doing everything right, but hey, it's working!!

Time out is a strategy that can begin somewhere between 18 months and 2 years old. The following are some basic guidelines for a successful time out.
  • First, establish a time out spot. This should be a place that is out of the way. Part of the reason that time out works is that your little one will have to leave all the action and forfeit your attention to go sit in a corner. We use the dining room because we’re normally not in there often, and it has lots of chairs. Every time your child has a time out, make sure he goes to the same place. (It also might be helpful to have an upstairs and downstairs time out spot if you live in a two-story house.)
  • In most cases give your child a warning. For example, if she is not putting away the blocks after you told her to, you can say, “Sarah, if you do not put the block away right now, you will have a time out.” Then if she doesn’t respond, put her directly in time out. Of course, some offenses may need an immediate time out, such as hitting or throwing an object at a sibling.
  • Encourage your child to go to time out on their own, but if they won’t walk there, carry them. Make sure they know exactly why they are being put in time out. For example, “You are going to time out because you threw your food on the floor.”
  • A child should sit in time out one minute for each year of their age. Set a timer. This not only helps you, but your child will learn to hear the timer and know that time out is only over when the timer goes off.
  • Make sure your child stays in time out the whole time. Sam and I have had several 2 minute time outs that took 20 because he kept getting down off his chair to test his boundaries. Should your child get up from time out too early, just tell him that time out starts over and reset the timer.
  • Never back down off a time out. No matter how much whining, crying and moaning your child does, see that she spends the full amount of time on her chair.
  • When time out is over, have a talk with your child. Ask him why he was in time out. If he can’t tell you, you tell him. Then have him apologize to the wronged person. Finally end with a nice hug and kiss and an “I love you”. This lets your child know that you love them unconditionally.
  • Do not be afraid to find an impromptu time out spot while visiting another house or running errands. If your child learns you won’t give him time out when you are away from home you can expect he will use that to his advantage. We have found the bathroom and the car work well.



2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I was never put in time out as a child either...sent to my room...but again, like Gracie, I'd just calm down and then play.

I don't know why, but I thought I'd try it with Emma...too many Nanny 911, and supernanny shows...

We started young, and it was a bit funny at first...she'd go to time out herself... but she started to "play" us...and it was defeating the purpose...now she's 3 and timeouts are back...they seem to be working becuase she hates missing out on the action. The timer thing is really good...because I don't think we were keeping in there long enough and she'd come out and not be "fixed" ...haha... the timer makes me realize that 3 minutes is longer than we think..but it is still only 3 minutes....

my favourite part is the heartless "sorry"...at around 2 minutes we hear "sorry mommy" x 10000 times ...she hears the beep and is ready to talk..

I like the time outs so far! It's just hard to be strong all the time time!!
Kristin

Sarah said...

Thanks Kristin.. It's fun, isn't it??! I have to start using the timer.. They say a minute for each year of their life right?? I don't think that I leave her in there long enough either... and the heartless "sorry" that I've been getting lately is enough to make me leave her in there for another 10 minutes..
Timeouts are definitely working for us,, we just threaten the "pink chair" now, and she changes her attitude really fast!! lol

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