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Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Special day or the Last day?????

Hey Ladies,,
This post is one that was lost when Blogger went all crazy last week.. I'm glad they found it because I wasn't prepared to retype it... Hope you enjoy it....

I read something that I found CRAZY the other day. I read it on another blog, and it fascinated me! (Check it out, it's a fun post)

In a nutshell, she is talking about the fact that the day after Mother's Day is the second most popular day for women to cheat on their husbands!!!
What is the first you are  probably asking????
The day after Valentines Day..

The logical side of me has been trying to figure this out for a few days now. I mean,, I guess in a way, it totally makes sense... Those two occasions are pretty important to a lot of women. I think I know that women put a lot of expectations on their husbands to "prove their love" on these days.

I used to be like that. (fantasizing all week about what Peter was going to plan for me, and what he would buy me!) I soon realized that my husband sucks at showing his love and appreciation in big ways and I could either accept it, or move on. I chose to accept it because I love the unromantic, non spontaneous, sucky gift giving MAN! I cannot imagine taking such a drastic step just because he screwed up Mother's day. Do I get a little pouty? Yep!! Could I ever imagine cheating on him because he let me down?? NEVER!
After a lot of thought, I've decided that these women CAN'T possibly be happy leading up to those days. Could it really be that easy to cheat?? Am I that sheltered and naive that I don't believe women just "go out and cheat"? The thought of that not only disgusts me, but scares me!

I guess to these women, Mother's day and Valentines day might be, in a sense, a test! Can he prove his love? How much does he love me? When he doesn't "prove" it, she cheats?! (I try not to judge and I know that no one ever knows what led to this point, but really??!! Why not get out before this point!)

We know A LOT of people in unhappy relationships right now.. Most of them with kids. It breaks my heart to see and hear of all of these problems.
What happens along the way? How do people get so unhappy? Are these the people that go and cheat the day after Mother's day and Valentine's day? Oh my gosh! I wonder if any of my friends cheated this week??! (funny but I'm kinda wondering)

Peter and I discussed this whole subject the other night, and it was so funny to see him get all defensive (because he knows he sucks at holidays!). I had to convince him that I wasn't threatening him in any way, I was just wanting to let him know how lucky he is!! lol..

Honestly though, I wanted to hear his take on it because as much as I hate to admit it, my husband is a very wise man..

My husband's belief is that women (and men) will always use an excuse. He thinks that when someone cheats or wants out of the marriage, whatever they say is usually just an excuse. So... Screwing up Mother's Day or Valentines's day would just give "her" an excuse to go out and cheat to get out of the marriage. Basically he believes that it's much bigger things that no one has the guts to talk about, so it's easier to find an excuse.The marriage was probably "over"(in one or both minds) long before a screwed up Mothers day. I think he's on to something!

Again though, how in the world does it get to this point??
I read a really smart thing once. It said that if your car all of the sudden started running funny, you'd take it to the garage right away. You wouldn't waste any time getting it fixed. Never would you just keep driving it until it breaks down!

So, why do we "drive" our marriages until they breakdown? Why not do some maintenance as soon as things start feeling like they're slipping? If it's counselling, weekends away, date nights, why don't we worry about our relationships as much as the material things in our lives? Why do we wait until we go out and cheat the day after Mother's day??

This is a topic that I could talk about forever, but I'm going to stop here and let you guys join in...

What are your opinions?

How do our relationships end up so bad that it comes to cheating?

Why do people cheat?

Can you understand why so many women go out and cheat if their men let them down on special days?

Also..... be sure to let your hubby's know about this statistic. I have a feeling it will result in some great Mother's days from here on out!!! lol

Have a great day ladies!

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Miranda said...

Adultery is something that I LOATHE. My family was torn apart because of it....pieced back together and torn apart yet again. To me, the thought of adultery is unfathomable. I don't understand it. I can't understand it. Someone very close to me admitted to cheating on their spouse and I was floored. I did not expect it to happen. The person felt that marriage is sacred, yet cheated anyway. To me it all boils down to selfishness. I couldn't live with myself if I destroyed my family because of my own self centeredness. I told my husband and he laughed, "Well, I guess you've probably cheated on me quite a bit over the last few years!"

Sarah said...

I hate it as well Miranda. It's something that no matter how hard I try, I just can't make sense of.
I'm sorry to hear that you've been affected by it..
I agree with you that it is selfishness and something going on within the person who is cheating. It's just too bad they didn't figure out what that was before destroying lives!
I love your husband's response as well..

therealhousewifeofoxfordcounty said...

I too find it hard to believe that we worry and plan a oil change but can't find the time to have a date. I find it hard to believe that a bunch of weddings I went to (not that long ago) are now finished. Why? what happens and I love these girls and guys but wonder when they stopped caring. And like the Dixie Chicks song how do you tell your kids you changed your mind? SOO HARD. I am so sorry Miranda you had to live with this and i too faced it in my family,which makes me that much more aganist it. :) Great post Sarah..

Sarah said...

Thank you! I too find it so hard to believe that we know of 3 couples right now going through separation. I just don't get how it gets to that point. It's sad..
OMG,,, LOVE that Dixie Chicks song!! We definitely have a lot in common!!!

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