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Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Birthday Princess

Let me start this post by saying that I love my hubby. I really do! But,, sometimes he screws up (like all men) and I need to talk about it!

Yesterday was my birthday! No big deal, right??....... WRONG!

I turned 32.
It is the one day that is MINE.
It's not Christmas, Valentines day or Mothers day, it's MY birthday! To me, it's a big deal. Its the one day out of 365 that I would like to be my special day. I want my birthday to be a big deal! Call me spoiled, or whatever you want, but I don't ask for much.

Leading up to yesterday, my hubby hadn't mentioned my birthday very much at all. I "ASSUMED" that this was a good thing. Usually if he is quiet its because he's got something that he doesn't want to spill.. Maybe he had dinner planned? Were we going out? Would friends be there? Maybe he just had a really great gift and he'd bring home some Indian food for me??  I realize that one should never "expect" anything, to avoid disappointment, but Come On, I'm a woman!

The phone rang at about 10 am yesterday morning. (THE DAY OF)  It was my grumpy, very stressed out hubby.. He didn't know what to get me, he didn't know what to do? What did I want for dinner? Was there anything I have been wanting?? Really?? REALLY????!!
I went from a really great mood, to a pouty little bitch princess instantly.
I was shocked that he hadn't put any thought into this until the day of.

I have talked to a few girlfriends and most tend to say that their hubby is the same, so I'm not just writing this post to bash my hubby.
Why don't men get it? Why is it so hard?

If Peter had put even a little bit of thought to my birthday prior to MY BIRTHDAY, he would have taken a lot of stress off of himself.. Had he thought about it, even Monday night, he could have gone out on Tuesday and gotten what he decided with. NO stress involved.

Instead, he phones ME! Of all people, ME! Why not call your buddies? Ask someone you work with. Please don't call me to let me know that you've given absolutely zero thought to my birthday until my birthday! When he called, I felt like nothing more than a hassle to him..
I wanted to say "I'm so sorry that you're stressed out and having anxiety over my birthday! You poor thing! I'm so sorry to put that much stress on you and ruin your day like this. I promise honey, it won't happen again!"
Or maybe I should have said "You realize that if you would have given this some thought before now, and if you were actually excited about making my day special for me,(like I am for you) this would have been a lot easier on you! But, since you're asking, I'd really like dinner out. The Keg would be nice. And,,, if you had been listening to me speak at all over  the past few months, you would know that I've been really wanting an Ereader, or a hand held pocket camcorder. But, since you didn't think of that, I also saw a really nice sparkley ring last week.. That will be sufficient."

Instead, I turned into a spoiled little bitch princess, and told him that I didn't want anything. I would cook dinner, and don't waste money on a gift. No gift would mean anything at this point because I know that he was just running out to find something, anything that he could for me, BECAUSE HE HAD TO! So special!!
And then I cried. I felt sorry for myself! I sent him an email telling him not to waste money, especially on flowers, and that I would cook dinner. I probably gave him double the anxiety he already had... HA!!! I wonder if he's worried that I'm going to cheat on him today ?(Read that link if you don't get the joke) LMAO

When it comes to occasions and holidays in this house, I do everything. I usually start planning the girls parties months before they even arrive. I make sure everything is perfect. I know what I'm giving hubby weeks before the occasion comes, and I do everything that I can to make "his" day special for him.  Just once, I would like the same thing in return.

There was one other thing that made me pout last night.. I didn't get one single phone call from a friend. My parents, my sister and my brother all called, and my hubby. (although that call didn't go so well) Not one of my friends called. I got lots of nice wall posts on Facebook, but that was it.
I'm probably just as guilty of this, I probably don't call enough of my friends on their birthday. This made me realize that from now on, I'm picking up and calling my friends. Facebook just doesn't cut it. People need to feel special on their birthday damn-it!!

I'm over it today. I had my day of pouting, sulking, feeling sorry for myself and acting like a spoiled little bitch, but I'm over it. Hubby came home with a great bottle of wine (he didn't get me a cake. I took notice, and let Gracie make him feel bad about that and some nice gifts and I've once again accepted that men just don't get it...they probably never will.

So, every year on my birthday, I will probably continue to have my day of acting rotten and spoiled, and then I will move on to appreciating all of the amazing things that he does for me every other day some other days throughout the year.. They wouldn't be much fun if they were perfect all the time, would they??

Besides, I'd have less to blog about!
PS~ LOVE YOU HONEY!! I know you're reading!
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The Home C.E.O. said...

men, they're all the same.
Even when I tell my husband "plan something nice. Don't tell me what it is, but come up with something. anything."
the day comes and he says "so what do you want to do?"
I totally know how you feel. It's rightly deserved. (shame on you peter! the girl only gets ONE birthday a year!)
You can pout for a week about this one. sorry babe!! maybe you can do a do-over this weekend. that's what i usually do.

(i'm the same way, by the way, my birthday is a big F'n deal to me)

Victoria said...

MY HUBBY IS READING THIS TONIGHT! I have been with him him for 14 years and NEVER had a planned b-day from him!! this last year I planned my own party, dinner, gift everything! PLUS the friend phone call is over rated, LOL! I HATE talking on the phone, how can you hear the person with 3 screamers in the back ground and your husband asking you a million gquestions, like that thing on your ear is just a funky new growth??

Shell said...

Give him a list next year! :)

dramaticmama said...

OMGOSH! So let me start by saying "Happy Belated Birthday!"

And you are SO not alone. I don't understand why men don't think about doing something special, completely off the chain special, for their woman on OUR special day. (does that even make sense, lol).

I promised myself that even IF my man forgets, or last minute remembers? I would make my OWN birthday an amazing day! They just stress us out and make us crazy.

That being said, I'm sure he will make it up to you...eventually? lol.

therealhousewifeofoxfordcounty said...

AH GIRL.. I think a call from a friend on your bday is the BEST!! So i totally agree with this and as for Peter.. I come to live my life with the thought that if I don't plan it It will not happen.

I gave Rob one thing to fax yesterday at work and he came home and never did it. God forbid he has to worry about anything from our house....
Peter would be lost with out you and i bet he knows it :)
oh but I do have to say that booze is the way to my heart always :) ha ha

Plan a night out with the ladies.. maybe a movie

Isabella said...

Happy Belated Birthday!
Men just don't get that we deserve a special day to. My bday was not long ago and hub came home with red vines and some chocolate that I don't like (I told hime before not to buy me the chocolate). He did buy me a book I wanted after showing him the book and emailing him the link ofcourse. When will our day come?

NotSoSilentMommy said...

The women always get it! Thanks ladies,, I knew that I could count on all of you to make me feel better. As much as I feel for all of you, I'm so happy to hear that my hubby isn't the only one that sucks.
@Shell,,, everyone always tells me to make him a list, but if thats what it takes, I honestly don't want anything. That just takes all of the excitement and romance out of it..Grr...
If they would just start listening.. He has never had to tell me something he wants... I listen to him!!! I know him!!!
One day,, One day is all that I ask for, all that I want... and then I'll stop pouting!!!

Becky Jane said...

Ouch! If your husband is reading this that just might do the

Visiting from vB
Thanks, Becky Jane

Sadie said...

Happy Birthday! I feel your pain! My birthday is Saturday and I've told my dear husband three times very clearly exactly what I would like....and still his asking. Not a promising situation! As for the friends, I cop it up to "old age" and have a drink by myself.

Wait....that sounded really sad didn't it? Oh well. I'd rather have a glass of wine by myself than listen to others go on about how busy their lives are! :-) Cheers to June birthdays!

Amy said...

I will literally make LISTS for my husband. This is what I want, this is where you buy it etc etc. And yet he will STILL whine to me that he has no idea what to get me!

He says he doesn't want to buy me what I ask for because then I am expecting it and it's not a surprise.

I got really pissed off during one of these conversations and when he asked how I always manage to surprise him and get him what he wants and I snapped "Because I actually LISTEN to you, and you never listen to me!"

I felt bad but it's true. You can STILL spell it all out for them and they just. don't. get. it.

But of course THEIR birthday had better be damned good or they pout and whine and make you miserable all week. They are FAR worse then us!

Foster said...

Oh man, birthdays (and VAlentine's Day and Mother's Day) + husbands usually= disappointment in our house.

What is that about?

Anyway, new follower. Check out my stuff at

If you like it, please follow along.

whosyourmommie said...

Oh sweet friend. I feel like I wrote that myself. Seriously, word for word! They will NEVER get it. I do super sweet sentimental things for my husband and then he feels super bad. Thats not why I do it, but it's nice to know he actually knows he sucks at birthdays. My husband wont even read my blog, so at least I don't have to censor much. I would have called you! I'll have a drink just for you tonight! I feel your pain and I'm sending you some love!

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