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Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Not Very Social

I'm hoping that someone can relate to me with this post.

I'm thinking if anyone can, it will be some of you stay at home mommies..

Lately, I've been noticing something about myself. A BIG change. Something that when I sit and think about it, saddens me, but I have no clue how to change it.

I've completely lost all of my social skills since becoming a Stay at Home Mom. It's sad, but it's true.

I've worked with the public my entire working life. I've always been a very social person.
For almost 10 years, I've been an Esthetician. I've seen 15-20 clients a day, booked appointments over the phone. For 4 of those years, I owned my own salon. I dealt with staff,clients and sales reps. You name it, I had no problem dealing with people.

Now, I can't even return and item to a store. In fact, I won't do it. Anxiety takes over, and I just don't do it.
I don't know what I think is going to happen. It's not like I think that someone is going bite me.
I just don't like dealing with people.

I ask myself that as well. Is it that I CAN'T deal with people, or that I just really don't WANT to deal with people?

In many cases, I know that I just don't want to.
Like all of those annoying door to door sales people?? Yeah, I just don't answer the door.
The phone rings, it's a number I don't know? I don't answer it..

But.. then there are the times that I walk into a situation where its new people,(like a birthday party or get together) and I completely shut down. I stay close to my hubby, or someone I know.
I've lost all mingling skills.
I used to be the type of person that would start conversations with people,
now I sit and wait until someone talks to me. Sometimes I even sit and hope that no one will!!!

Usually, while I wait, I sit and think about how much more I'd like to be at home. Home in my comfy little house where I don't have to find something to talk about or worry about whether I'm saying the right thing.

Let's face it. The only things I have to talk about are my girls, and I'm sure people really don't want to sit and talk about my kids all night..

To a lot of people, I probably look like a super *itch, but I'm not. No really I'm not....
Honestly, kids just stole all of my social skills and I have no clue how to talk to you or start a conversation..
Once the conversation has started, I'm fine. It's just getting me started..

It's not like I have social anxiety or anything. I have no problem going out. I actually look forward to it. I've just lost my outgoing personality. I've lost the ability to feel comfortable while meeting new people, or being thrown into new situations.  I've lost my want for small talk and mingling..

That being said, I could probably walk into a room full of 3 year olds and light up the room!! I'd have no issues there!!

Am I alone here? Does anyone battle with this? Who has some ideas of what I can do to get my social skills back?!
HELP!!!!

9 comments:

Terri said...

I was like this before I had kids too. So there has been no difference really. I hate that people possible look at me and think I am a stuck up snob or something because I don't talk to them. The problem is I don't know how. I am mostly like that around women because I don't typically like all the girly stuff they do such as shopping, make-up etc.

I am a tom boy so I don't know how to really talk to girls. My topics of choice are along the lines of "Hey my hubby and I went shooting the other day..." The girls look at me like I am crazy. If a guy brings up a topic when I am in ear shot such as guns, action movies etc I am all over the conversation.

I am trying now to do stuff that I think would help me talk to girls such as throw a jewelry party. I had one a few months ago and no one but my neighbors showed up. I am going to try again this coming month and maybe that will help with being more social.

If you get some tips on how to be more social please let me know :)

Small Kucing said...

You are not alone. Me too in the same situation.

Now when my ex-colleague talking about stuff, I just tuned off. Unable to contribute to the conversation.

Previously am very outspoken. But now, I vent my grouses in my blog post.

The Home C.E.O. said...

yup. this happened to me. You just get used to staying at home and not have to socialize that you really do lose your skill.

the only way i found to fix this was a weekly girls night. dinner and drinks. that's all. when your girls get bigger it'll improve. once they start going to school you'll talk to moms and teachers and it will get easier. {{hugs}}

RoryBore said...

Hi, My Name is Rory and I've don't know how to talk to people anymore."
"hello Rory."
Yep. I blame it on the fact that I can never finish a sentence without one of my 3 kids interrupting me, having to potty, or diving head first into the walls and bleeding profusely. Seriously, they'll do anything to get my attention OFF someone/thing else, and back on to THEM. I've pretty much given up trying...and that carries over to outside my home too.
But I want to change, I do!!
meet here same time next week? LOL

Lizbeth said...

I'm glad to see we're all in this together!!! I found the same thing happening! I try to use my kids to start conversations with other moms and hope that works. That and I talk to Nate Berkus on TV a lot, does that count? ;)

Optimistic Mom said...

I think I still socialize well, I just run out of stuff to talk about. LOL
I don't talk about my son that much, honestly I need a break from him so I try to find other topics. I have a hard time sometimes especially when people are chatting about TV shows. I don't watch much TV and must confess I enjoy peace and quiet, well and blogging. You are not alone, I think many moms have the same concerns.

Minivan Mama said...

I can relate..it just seems more like work to socialize and well, being a mom is exhausting. I've actually been working very hard on learning to put myself out there and one thing I've found is to find a real interest in the person you are talking about...they'll do all the talking for you if you get them going!

Jolene said...

I so can relate.....mom of 3, I was a stay at home mom for the first 5 years and then I needed to get out and be somewhere Barney wasn't!!

Now....being in the medical field I have to talk to patients ALL the time or my coworkers and seriously sometimes I just wish I was in my own little office or back in my little cubicle where I didn't have to converse with anyone. It's not like I feel like I am better than them....it's just that I just don't want to bother with small talk or I have so much on my plate at home that I'm too busy doodling menus, to do lists.....budgets.

You are NOT alone!!

Me 2 U said...

You hide that well. Every time that I see you I have no problems talking to you (and I enjoy talking to you). I don't find you different from when you owned the salon, you are the same Sarah that you were to me.
Being a Mum changes us all to some extent.
I myself have never been very social. I have always sought out the farthest corner in any social engagement to just watch everything and take it all in, not to actually talk to anyone. I stick to someone I know if I am forced to roam around the room to talk to people.
I enjoy hearing about your girls too.

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