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Wednesday, September 14, 2011

PRIVATE TALK... PART 2!

First of all.. thank you to all of you who commented on my last post..

I enjoyed reading all of the "names" you have for your kid's private parts/genitals/hoo-haws...lol

So here's the thing. For as long as I can remember, I've called "girl parts" a bird..

As in "My bird hurts".... or  "Make sure you wash your bird well"...
I know.
Some people think it's funny, but that's what it has always been.
I've always called boy parts (little boys) their "peter"...
I was really lucky that I got two girls because having a husband who's name is Peter could have made things a little awkward...

So... naturally, when I had my girls, I started referring to their birds, as THEIR BIRDS...
It's never been an issue...

Until this past Sunday night.....

We're sitting at my parents and Gracie announces "OWWW.... MY BIRD HURTS"
(personally I think that sounds cute)

Long story short, once the situation was dealt with, my mom says "Just imagine when Gracie is at school, and tells the teacher that her BIRD hurts."

YIKES...

I immediately (obviously, I'm a mom) got defensive, and responded with "I'm sure that the teacher will hear a lot worse names than BIRD."
A few times that night I heard my mom refer to it as "fanny"... which I've heard before but never have we used.. Heck, she's always said bird too...

The subject was dropped, and everyone moved on...

I can't stop thinking about it though... Do I use the wrong name? Should I change what Gracie knows and start calling it something else?

I don't think BIRD is offensive in any way. I would hate to think that it is demeaning.
For me, it's always just been a name that makes sense to kids. (well, maybe it doesn't make sense, but it works)

I mean, really, I could see the problem if she was running around calling it her "COOCH" ,"PUSS", or "BEAVER" (although, those are all funny options)

I think if I were a teacher, I'd spit out my coffee a lot faster if a little girl came up to me and said
" MY VULVA HURTS"....lol..
I now know that's the proper term (Thanks Mrs. Moose), but to me it sounds more vulgar than BIRD?? NO???

I don't know what to do... I'm torn. Part of me wants to just keep things as they are. Really, it's no one else's business what we call things. It's not like our chosen name is offensive or disrespectful in anyway. It's just a name we've chosen..

The other part of me thinks that I should probably start referring to it as something different.

I think that we might just have a talk about what we call it to other people.. If she has to talk to her teacher about it, we'll call it her "privates"..
I don't want her running around talking about it anyway.. It should be private in my eyes..

If she has a problem with it, that is one thing, but I don't want to encourage her to go around talking about it...

Who would have known that this could be such a hard thing to figure out...

Maybe I should just go with Oprah and get her to call it her "VA-JAY-JAY"??!!!!

All opinions and suggestions would be appreciated..


**UPDATE**~ I think that I just found my answer online... As much fun as we might have with this subject, is could actually be very serious. Here is a great little response that I found on a message board.. Many of our minds might be changed after reading this... I've never looked at it this way before...

This question is WAY more important than you think it is. And I'll tell you why:

Though no parent likes the idea, children do get molested. It is at best a very embarassing thing for the child, and they are usually threatened or bribed to keep quiet about it. It is not unreasonable at all that your child may only make ONE attempt to tell someone else what is going on. You MUST make EVERY effort to make sure that that one attempt, if it ever has to occur, is ABSOLUTELY SUCCESSFUL.

Since that is the case, you do not want your child to say, "My uncle was touching my kitty". Somone unfamiliar with your special euphemisms will have no idea what your child is talking about, and may even make things worse by saying something like, "That's okay - most kittens like to be petted." YOU MUST NOT ALLOW THIS TO HAPPEN.

I'm sorry if I am sounding paranoid or sensationalist, but you really must think of what's lying on the scales here. A minor discomfort for you versus years of ongoing abuse for your child. For a good parent, there is really no chioce to make... your child's safety MUST take precedence. PLEASE teach your child appropriate terms. I beg you...

2 comments:

Amanda said...

Sarah I just read both part 1 and 2 of this post and knew exactly what I was going to write at the end but when I got there you had already researhed it and beat me to it, it is extremely important to teach proper terms when teaching what to call their private parts. I have had this dicussion recently with someone that works with children and knows all too well how important it is!! I also know from experience that if you are involved in a sexual assult and don't know the proper term, that itself can get the case thrown out of court!!! Sarah this is the first time I have ever heard of bird being used for girls though, I have always heard it used for boys though!! So many decisions and so many options but I hope that after your research everyone takes it into serious consideration!!!

Sadie said...

I totally agree with Amanda! We taught our girls proper terms so they can communicate clearly how they feel about their bodies and how their bodies are feeling. It is just a body part, nothing sexual about until they are TAUGHT there is something sexual about it. Plus kids learn some of this stuff as early as third grade - do you want it coming first from you or from school?

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