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Monday, January 31, 2011

Speak no Evil..

If someone told you that their 14 month old wasn't talking yet, not even "mama", "dada", or even "no", what would your thoughts be?? I'm not asking what you would say to the mother, but what your thoughts would be?

Would you be the type to think that every baby is different, and does things at different speeds? Would you think that something was definitely wrong, or would you wonder if it was normal but not really judge either way??
I know that a lot of us would like to think that we would pick option A.  We would think that every baby is different, and that it's not a big deal. Realistically though, I think that a lot of us would wonder if something was wrong.

Before I had children, I definitely would have gasped, wondered what was wrong. 14 months, and the child wasn't even saying mama yet? Honestly, probably even after having Gracie, I would have thought the same way. She was babbling away at about 6 months.
That was when I was ignorant!
That was before I knew that every child is so different, and that there are so many factors that may effect different milestones in a child's life.

That was before I had a 14 month old who doesn't talk! (did you just gasp??!! You better not have!!) lol

It's a funny thing, every time I tell someone that she doesn't talk, and even as I type it, I feel like I have to continue to justify it with an explanation. That I should find a way to get that wide eyed terror look off of people's faces! I feel like I have to explain that she understands every word I say, and that she can actually say "uh oh!" and that if I try hard enough I can get her to say "ma ma ma ma and da da da da". I feel like I have to justify it by saying that she has walked since before she was 12 months old, and she can point to her nose, her belly and that she can pretend to wash her hair when I tell her too.. That she can scale baby gates and feed my dog. I feel like I have to explain that Gracie talks for her and she really has no need to talk yet. I can justify it all I want, but at the end of the day, my 14 month old still doesn't talk. I shouldn't have to justify it, I shouldn't feel like people "need" an explanation.. But I do! Why??

Probably because I hate feeling like "your kid is better than my kid". I hate the thought that my child might be "behind" a little bit. Why? Because society haunts us with these ideas that our kids have to be perfect. Because, lets face it, mommy's compare their kids to other kids their age. It's horrible, yet we do it. We ALL do it! (Don't deny it!) We may not be doing it in a "mean" way, but we do it!

Gracie was over 15 months old when she started walking. I don't think she really even crawled until she was over a year. She used to sort of slither across the floor,, pull herself around with her arms. Like an army crawl. I realize now, she was just very content with sitting on the floor and playing.. She was lazy! She had no reason to get up and walk around. At the time, I struggled with the fact that all of the other kids her age, and some that were younger were running circles around her.
I hear comments all the time, people saying things like "I heard of this one kid that didn't walk until they were like 15 months old. I hope my child isn't like that!"
Yes, it's an ignorant thing to say, but it's reality. People say these things, people think these things, and that is  why we feel the need to defend what our child "isn't" doing?
I always speak up and tell people that Gracie didn't walk until almost 16 months, and that she is now no different than any other 3 year old. Usually at that point, peoples faces go read and their heads drop.

If only people thought before they spoke!
As nice as that would be, this is something that isn't likely to change. I'm sure all of us are guilty of speaking before we think, especially when it comes to our children, and gloating around other parents about what they are doing!

Every child progresses, develops, matures and grows at different paces. They aren't all going to follow the "book".. I guess it's time that we stop expecting them to, and time to stop feeling like we have to defend them if they aren't right up to the speed of everyone else.
Like one of my friends moms says, "by the time they get to college, they'll all be walking, talking, and potty trained!"
I think that is what we have to stop and remember. That, as well as the fact that it's really no one else's concern what our children are or are not doing.

Someones child is going to be the first to roll over, to sit up, to eat solids. The first to crawl, to walk, to talk, to be potty trained, to learn their alphabet and to tie their shoes. There will be the first to learn all of their shapes and numbers. There will also be the last one to do all of these things!
Maybe just maybe the kid who talks last, will be the first to tie her shoes. Maybe she'll be the first to say her alphabet and get chosen to speak in front of the class. We just don't know!
And really... at the end of the day, does it matter??

The old saying goes "Be careful what you wish for!", I'm sure in another month or two, I will be on here asking you ladies how to make an 18 month old stop talking. I remember when Gracie started walking, the only thing that I wanted was for her to sit down!
For now though, I'll probably continue to worry that my 14 month old doesn't talk.

That's normal, isn't it?!!
Have any of you been the mother of the "kid who doesn't talk"? (or walk, or sit up, or crawl etc......)

Have a great night ladies! Talk to you all tomorrow!

Be Patient

Hey Ladies! Just a quick note to let you know that I will have a new post today, it will just be a little later than usual as I have 4 kids today!!! Have a good one and don't forget to check back later



Sunday, January 30, 2011

Sunday Chuckle

I thought that you ladies would enjoy this today!! Happy Sunday!!

One afternoon a man came home from work to find total mayhem in his house. His three children were outside, still in their pyjamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn all around the front yard. The door of his wife's car was open, as was the front door to the house. 

Proceeding into the entry, he found an even bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked over, and the throw rug was wadded against one wall. In the front room the TV was loudly blaring a cartoon channel, and the family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing. In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on the counter, dog food was spilled on the floor, a broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door. 

He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of clothes, looking for his wife. He was worried she may be ill, or that something serious had happened. He found her lounging in the bedroom, still curled in the bed in her pyjamas, reading a novel. 

She looked up at him, smiled, and asked how his day went. 
He looked at her bewildered and asked, "What happened here today?" 

She again smiled and answered, "You know every day when you come home from work and ask me what in the world I did today?" 
"Yes" was his incredulous reply. 
She answered, "Well, today I didn't do it."

Saturday, January 29, 2011

Thank You!

You ladies all know that I was going to the concert last night. What a great concert it was! What a great night out!! Four of us ladies went. We had an amazing dinner and some yummy drinks and then hit the concert.
I was excited about the concert, but I had no idea what the night was "really" going to bring me.

I'll start by telling you a story that until now, I haven't really shared.
A few weeks ago I was at the hospital with my hubby. (he's fine) While we were waiting, I happened to glance out into the hall and see a couple of nurses talking. The one nurse was smiling, laughing and dancing around. I remember thinking "what could she possibly be that happy about?".
Sad eh??! That's when I realized that I had to dig deep within myself and figure out what heck was going on with me. There was obviously a problem if I didn't think that it was "normal" to be happy.
So,, I did some soul searching, started talking a little more, and then I started this blog. I knew, that I had been feeling a lot better lately but I didn't realize how much better until last night.

At one point while Darius Rucker was singing, I stopped and thought to myself ~ "I'm dancing, I'm singing, and I'm smiling!"
I was the happy nurse!!!!
I wondered if anyone was looking at me wondering why the hell I was so happy? It made me sad to think that there might be. It almost brought tears to my eyes as I sat amongst 15,000 (or more) people realizing "Life is good"!
I knew that I had to come home, get on here, and Thank all of you ladies.
So, thank you for supporting me with this, Thank you for getting on and reading everyday. Thank you for helping me realize that even though we may have some dark, foggy days, life is good and that I'm so lucky to have been blessed with what I have! I have so many reasons to "dance" like that nurse.
I hope that this blog has helped even just one of you as much as it has me, and I hope that we can all continue on this journey of motherhood together!! I will keep getting on here and writing every day in hopes that it will.

Sorry for being all sappy and sentimental! I'll be back to my normal self by Monday, I promise!! lol
I'm going to leave you with this video to watch. Darius started singing this right after I had this realization last night.. I smiled again. It was like this song was confirmation. It was like I was being told "You finally get it!"!!!
Good luck watching this without tears!!
Have a great weekend ladies, and THANKS again!





Friday, January 28, 2011

Aren't We On The Same Team?

None of us are perfect, none of our husbands are perfect, and as much as we hate to admit it,, none of our kids are perfect. My question today is, again, why do some of us feel like everyone else has to think that we are?

Maybe you are one of of "these" women,(sorry!) maybe you know one a few. You know, the type that whenever asked how things are, how they are, their response is "GREAT!". They look like they've been hit by a bus, yet everything is "GREAT"!
We could ask something like "How has your husband been with the helping out now that things are calming down"? Response being "He's just amazing!".
C'MON!!!
Or what about the mommies who "yell" at their children with a calm, quiet, perfect tone and a smile on their face? The ones who would NEVER raise their voice even a little bit, to their child?
Sometimes everything is great,but who doesn't have bad days? Hell, who doesn't have bad MONTHS? Why do so many women think that they have to "appear" to be perfect?

I realize that if a complete stranger, or say your grandma was to ask, it's simply easier to say "perfect or great". My problem is when it's your friend asking, or another mommy! Why aren't we truthful with each other, why don't we use each other as support, as someone to lean on?

AREN'T WE ON THE SAME TEAM???!!

According to a Neumums survey of about 5,000 moms, many parents are less than truthful when it comes to chatting with other moms. Here are some of their lies:


According to a Netmums survey of about 5,000 moms, many parents are less than truthful when it comes to chatting with other moms. Here are some of their lies:

* They say they are coping well, but 69 percent were less than truthful.
* They say they are coping financially, but 46 percent were less than truthful.
* They claim to spend more time with their kids than they do (20.6 percent).
* They say their kids watch less TV than they do (23 percent).
* They lie about their child's great appetite (17 percent)
* And finally, 13 percent say they are having more sex than they are. 

Does this seem crazy to anyone else? I mean, sure, maybe I'm a little too open sometimes. I figure though, if my girlfriend asks how things are going, she cares. She wants to know She's going to hear!! Besides, she's another mommy, maybe she can give me some advice or suggestions. Maybe she can relate. Maybe I will even make her feel better!
Do you think that we as women are afraid to show our weakness first?  Maybe we don't want to be the first to admit that this isn't what we thought we signed up for? That some days we just want to throw in the towel? That parenting is hard!!!!
Again, it probably all goes back to guilt, and looking weak. Do I look weak if I admit it? OR... are the ones that CAN'T admit it the weak ones?? I'm sure everyone views it differently.

One thing I do know though, is that the moms that present themselves as "Having it all together", and that have these "Perfect Lives", do a really great job at making me feel even worse than I already did.  And truthfully, it makes me not want to be around them. When I finally get some time away or out, I don't want to be surrounded with smiling, perfectly happy mommies with no care in the world.Not that I want to be around someone miserable,, just someone who is "real"! Perfect people just make me feel like I have to be the same, like I have to compete... unfortunately, that's just not me!

Is that what motherhood/friendships have turned into? A competition?? If so,, it's a game I'm not willing to pay. That is after all why I am on here. To "confess my sins", to "admit my imperfections".
Cheers to all of you out there that are like me! (HA! I make myself sound so perfect. Good thing you all know the truth!) To all of you "perfect" mommies out there,, we love you too, but hopefully after reading this, you will find it in yourself to start be a little less "Perfect", for the sake of the rest of us!!

Thanks in advance...lol Have a great weekend ladies!
BRAD PAISLEY HERE I COME!!! I'll touch base on the weekend!!










Thursday, January 27, 2011

Digging Deep

I started reading a new book. (from the mommy must read list) It was recommended by one of the mommies on here.(Thank you!) I added the link, but it is called "The Gifts of Imperfection, by Brene Brown."
I didn't get too far, but within the first chapter, I read something that really struck me. 
As I read it, I knew that I had to talk to you ladies about it today.

The section is called "Digging Deep". I am going to type out the little section that really got me thinking. Please remember that these are Brene's words, not mine.
"In early 2008, when my blog was still pretty new, I wrote a post about breaking my "dig-deep" button. You know the dig-deep button, right? It's the button that you rely on when you're too bone-tired to get up one more time in the middle of the night or to do one more load of throw-up-diarrhea laundry or to catch one more plane or to return one more call or to please/perform/perfect the way you normally do even when you just want to flip someone off and hide under the covers.
The dig-deep button is a secret level of pushing through when we're exhausted and overwhelmed, and when there's too much to do and too little time for self-care."

Wow!!! If you haven't already gotten confirmation from my blog that you're not alone,, this should definitely help you believe it. It's always amazing to me, when I read something that feels like I have written it.
There is so much more in this chapter/ book that is amazing, but this really hit home for me. 
I actually read this while my girls were in the bath, splashing water everywhere, scribbling on my JUST cleaned tub with their bath crayons and screaming at the top of their lungs. Perfect timing!!! (Is it a bad thing that I read while they're in the tub??)

Then I started thinking,,, what is my "dig-deep" button? At what point everyday do I need that "dig-deep" button? Where exactly is my "dig-deep" button, and really WHY do we have a "dig-deep" button?? 
I always seem to find it in me to keep going, to get everything done,, but where does it come from?
Many days, I think my dig-deep button is a glass of wine, or 2 extra large coffees,lol, thats what gets me through many days. Or it's the thought of my husband coming home and "thinking" that I've done nothing all day. Lately, it's been sitting down to do this blog. It gives me the "boost" to keep going!
There are some days though that the button just doesn't work.

So,, I'm ending my blog here today, with a few questions for you ladies. (because I am determined to get you all talking! I know you're reading! I have close to 150 views a day,, so now I have to figure out how to get you talking.lol)

What is your "dig-deep" button? 
Where do you pull that last bit of energy from to get things done?
Should we use that dig deep button, or should we just give up? Give up and lay down on the couch for the night?
Should we just give up when our minds and our bodies are telling us "ENOUGH"?? 
Last but not least, does everyone have a "dig-deep" button, do men have one?? 

What do you all think?


Have a great day!! I'm cleaning and getting everything ready for my hubby so that I can go see BRAD PAISLEY tomorrow night!!! 


Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Playing around

Hey ladies..

I just wanted to let you all know that I'm fooling around with the look of the blog,, if you see some crazy changes, just be patient with me! Thanks!!!

VENT DAY


I must have been meant to see this today!!
Daddy is just sitting back, loving life while Mommy cleans the house! I know there are probably a few ways that this picture could be interpreted, but that is the way I see it!

Ok, so here is what I need to vent about. Maybe we've already discussed it, but I need to talk about it again!
Why is it, that when daddy gets home at night, his "job" is done for the day??? Don't get me wrong, most of the time, my husband is amazing (he usually cooks dinner, helps clean up,does Gracie's homework with her) but the last few nights, he has come in and plopped his butt down, and that is where he stays until I wake him up to go to bed.(I know I shouldn't get mad because its a rare thing,,but really?!)
 I get the girls dinner (we're on a nutritional cleanse program right now, and have shakes for dinner), I clean them up, give them their bath, put their pjs on and read them a story. Last night while I did all of this, he sat on the couch watching tv. We BOTH go up to tuck them in. He gives them a kiss and hug, says "love you, see you tomorrow" which is great, but then that job is done too! Off he goes. I get stuck there with the "I have to go potty, I want a drink" I usually spend an extra 10 minutes before bedtime is "done". 
Again, In his defense, he's had a couple of really hard days at work, and he's tired, but so am I! I've had a busy week already,and Gracie hasn't had naps,which makes for LONG days!
I think that it was Heather who pointed out in a comment that "his day should finish when mine does"! I totally agree! Why do they just get to put their feet up and relax while we still have another 3 hours of "work".. 
GRRRR!!

Anyway.....I have had a few of you say that you would like to have a weekly blog to talk and vent about "DADDY". I have chosen Wednesday. Maybe because after my night last night I feel like I need it, none the less, Wednesday is now "VENT DAY"!!
My posts probably won't be long, just to the point. I'll pick one thing that has bothered me that week, or something that one of you have mentioned in a comment. I also thought that it would be neat to have some Wednesdays as "Guest Blogger Day"  One of you can take the "mic" and vent about whatever you need to. Let's face it, if I blog about my husband every Wednesday, I'll soon be blogging about Divorce Lawyers.(if he isn't already looking into it!(lol)
We all love our husbands,, there is no doubt about that,, but sometimes a girl just needs to vent. Really, we're probably doing them a favor by doing it on here because 1. we get to release the anger so it doesn't build and build until we blow 2. at the end of the day, we'll hate them a little less because we'll realize that we're not alone!!

What is the #1 thing your man does to get under your skin??

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

I'm Supposed to Protect Them!

"What am I doing wrong?", "Why are they sick again?", " I feel defeated, my kids are always sick!"

Guess where I saw all of these comments this week??! Facebook! I've also had quite a few comments and private messages discussing how hard it is when our kids get sick.

Honestly,Is there anything worse? Is there anything harder than having to watch our kids suffer... Whether it be with teething, a cold, a rash, the flu, it doesn't matter, it's hard just the same. Unfortunately, some of us have dealt with worse things than a cold or flu, and that sucks. It seems though, that no matter what they end up with, we,(once again) blame ourselves..

When Gracie was 4 weeks old, she got a nasty cold. She was congested terribly and had a cough. Within a week, the cough had turned to the most awful sound, anyone has ever heard from a tiny little 6lb bundle.. It broke anyones heart who was around her.
To make a long story short, she ended up in the hospital at 5 weeks old with RSV, Bronchiolitis, and Pneumonia.
She spent a week laying in a giant, cold hospital crib, receiving steroid
treatments and antibiotics.

I had a pretty good meltdown when they rushed her into the Emergency room at the hospital and hooked her up to a mask and lots of other machines, but my husband and mom did a great job of calming me down. I quickly pulled myself together knowing that Gracie need me to be strong. (I put on my own "oxygen mask") 
We spent the week in the hospital. Unfortunately it was on "lock-down" because there was so much sickness going around at that time. No one could come visit. Thankfully they let my mom come in while Peter was at work so that I wasn't alone. I don't know what I would have done without them. It was a very long, scary week. The thoughts that go through your head are horrible. Nothing I tried would stop them.
Peter and I slept together in one hospital bed beside the crib. Some nights we didn't sleep at all.
I remember that I refused to leave Gracie's side. I didn't leave the room once. People brought me food/drinks and if I had to use the washroom, I waited until someone was standing right with her. Thinking about it now, it was very unhealthy, but I think any mother would be the same..
I also remember thinking that the only thing I wanted was to go home. I wanted to enjoy my baby and be able to smile when I looked at her rather than cry. This wasn't the way our journey together was supposed to start.
When she was finally released (with a bag full of puffers and medicine), I was terrified to leave.
What if she got worse? What if she started coughing and choking, what if she still needed her steroid and oxygen treatments? What if wasn't okay, if she wasn't ready to go home?? (I should mention that they released her after the first day, only to have us return 5 hours later with her in very very rough shape!). How could I trust that she was going to be okay this time?
Once we were home, I didn't take my eyes off of her. I don't think I slept for a month. I got up every 5 minutes to check her breathing. I left her sleeper undone so that I could see her belly and chest to make sure her breaths weren't too deep. The thermometer was right beside my bed. She slept in the playpen right next to my bed until she was 6 months old, because I was terrified that through the night her breathing would act up again and I wouldn't know.
2 weeks of pure hell, of me trying to be a really strong mommy. Within 2 days of being home, I completely fell apart. It was like once I was home and felt safe, once i knew she was going to be okay, it hit me. It hit me hard. I was a mess. The thoughts in my head haunted me.
I'm her mommy, I was supposed to protect her. Maybe I should have put an extra blanket on her when we went out, I shouldn't have taken her to the grocery store with all of those germs. I shouldn't have let people come visit her, we shouldn't have taken her to see people... the thoughts were non stop. It was all my fault.. How was I ever going to be a good mommy when I failed so badly within the first month of her life... My baby could have died!
This was definitely that darkest point in my life. Without my family and my husband, I don't know how I would have made it through it. I remember also, talking with a friend of my sisters. She told me that her little girl was sick as a baby, and that she completely lost it after. That is was normal.. Hearing that someone else went through the same thing, and that it was okay for me to "break" made me feel so much better.
The thing that I ended up realizing, was that a bad mommy wouldn't have known to get her baby to the doctor. A bad mommy wouldn't have sat in a hospital room for hours on end rocking and singing to her baby, a bad mommy wouldn't have cried when looking at her (smiling) sick little princess. A bad mommy wouldn't have the patience to give the puffer treatments through screaming and crying.. A bad wouldn't have prayed to God every night to make her daughter healthy..

I think these are the things we have to remember when our children get sick.(again, no matter what it is) Sure,, maybe we shouldn't have taken them outside without a hat, maybe we should have washed their hands more or stayed away from that play date with sick kids. We're human, and they're kids! They're going to sick and no matter what we do or don't do,, that isn't going to change. What we can do though is keep being the good mommies that we are. We can cuddle on the couch, give them the medicine they need, rock them to sleep while singing them a song. Those are the things that we have to remember to focus on when they're sick. Those are the things that make us great mommies, not bad ones!
We don't have to wonder where we went wrong, we have to think about what we can do to get them through it!

Have a great day ladies,, thanks for reading!

Monday, January 24, 2011

Add caption

The "V" Word.......

HA! I knew that you would all come back to see exactly what "V" word I would be talking about!!

"A vasectomy: The gift of Love"
"A vasectomy means never having to say you're sorry!"

It's easy (really easy) to crack jokes and laugh when discussing this subject. Especially when I'm talking to my husband about it. I love to joke with him and watch him squirm. (what man doesn't cringe just a little when they hear "snip snip")
When it boils right down to it though, it always ends up being a serious conversation. A conversation that everyone involved in, always has very strong opinions on.

I've never been the girl/wife that has said "well I took the pill for 10 years, now its his turn", "my man will be getting done", or "If I'm giving birth, he can do this". The way that I look at it is, My husband didn't ask me to take the pill for 10 years, it was a choice that I made. I didn't get pregnant and give birth FOR MY HUSBAND, he didn't ask me to go through it, he didn't BEG me to do it. It was a decision that we made TOGETHER. That is why I don't think it is fair for me to just look at him and say "You HAVE to go get a vasectomy!"  I guess its just something that I feel has to be right for everyone. Something that both parties agree on and are comfortable with. I really do think that the guy should be 100% comfortable with the decision. Just as we women aren't "forced" into having babies, I don't believe that men should be forced to have this done.
When I see the look on my husbands face and the way he squirms at the "V" word, I start feeling sorry for him and start looking at other options. Is that LOVE or what?? Maybe I'm just too nice?? I'm more than ready for a good argument coming my way from you ladies! (We haven't had any good debates yet)

For the longest time, I thought that I had no problem going in to have a tubal ligation. I figured, that I'm tough, I'm having the kids, what's one more little procedure? It's almost like the final chapter in that book.
This is the way that I felt before having 2 Cesarean births. Before having those two horrible surgeries that left me in pain for a month. Before the doctor told me that my poor body needed a rest and that I shouldn't have more children because pregnancy was just way too hard on me. Before he told me that my body couldn't handle another surgery. Before I knew how exhausted I would be and that my body would still be healing, a whole year after having my second daughter. Before I knew that being a mommy of 2 girls under 3 was going to suck the life right out of me! I thought this before I really had a clue! 

I wish that I would have known that my body was in such rough shape when I had Lylah. My doctor came in right before the surgery and asked if I wanted my tubes tied while they were "in there". I was caught off guard. Even though we had decided that we were "done", at that moment, it just sounded so FINAL.. I told him not to do it, and that I would worry about that at a later time.
If I could turn back time, my response would have been "HELL YAH!"

So,, here we are, 14 months later!! I can't go back on "the pill" because for some reason since having children, it makes me a crazy woman.. I am no where near ready (physically) to go and have my tubes tied, and I really do not want to be, nor should I be, pregnant again. So,,, my question to all of you ladies is this: WHAT'S A GIRL TO DO??!!!!!

Do I talk really nicely to my hubby and put the idea in his head to go see the doc?? Maybe while he is sleeping at night I can just whisper "snip snip" "you want to have the snip snip"... lmao,,, can you imagine the nightmares that I would give the poor guy??!! HA! Should I just call and make him an appointment and add it to his day timer? (funny, yes! Again though, if he doesn't want to, I'm not prepared to force him)

There are other methods that we could look at, but  really?? Are any of them *really*  ideal??
I would kind of like to keep the romance alive in my marriage (now that we are starting to get it back).... and considering how "spontaneous" (cough cough) it is with men, I'd like to keep that as well...
And then,,, the issue of whether or not it is going to be reliable.At this point in my life, I don't want to be worrying/panicking every month.I was doing some research and found this. I thought it was kind of interesting....
It definitely looks like Abstinence is the way to go!!! Wait until we tell our husbands this one!!
I'm sure if I told my husband that it was our only other option, he'd be running to that Dr's office!

I've actually been giving some thought to the Copper IUD .Does anyone have any input when it comes to these? Any personal experiences?? Any horror stories? Any experiences with any of these few options would be greatly appreciated. I realize that there are so many pros and cons to every option out there, but there has got to be one that comes out on top for Pros.
I have a feeling that most of you are going to respond with "Vasectomy" as the best choice, but it's worth a try.

Imagine, I'm 31years old, married with two children, and I'm completely stressed out about Birth Control!! It really shouldn't be this complicated. Should it??

Have a great day ladies, I registered Gracie for JK this morning and she has an appointment with the ear specialist this afternoon,, busy busy!! I look forward to hearing from all of you!



Sunday, January 23, 2011

Bad Mommy....

This made me laugh out loud when I found it today! It reminds me of Gracie and I.

Last week I got upset with her for something. She interrupted me and asked "Why are you being bad again Mommy?" Obviously, I had no answer for that! We both just started laughing. I had to share this with you ladies!

Saturday, January 22, 2011

An Impact!

Have you ever read a quote, heard a song, or saw something that really hit home?

Since having my girls, I've "heard" two things that have stuck with me.  By saying Stuck, I mean that I think about both of these things almost daily.They both really made an "impact"!
On many of my tough days, I catch myself either thinking of this quote or humming this song.

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent" ~ Eleanor Roosevelt (quote)
and
"You're Gonna Miss This" ~ Trace Adkins (country song. I will post lyrics later)

I don't usually Blog on weekends, but I was hoping to get your feedback on everything that has inspired you. A TV show, a quote, a song, a line from a movie, a book!! Once I get your responses, I will start a separate page of "Inspiration for Mommy" I'm hoping that I can get enough from all of you to fill the page.
I know that you ladies are reading,, so please help me out with this one!
I will also add a couple more of my own.
Once we have this page added on, visit it whenever you feel like you need a little boost, when you need a reminder to keep smiling!! I'm hoping that what has inspired you, might  help some of us other mommies on tough days! I'm hoping it will inspire ALL of us!!

I'll give you all the weekend to think about it, and hopefully by Sunday evening you will see a new page called "Inspiration for Mommy". It will be on the Homepage right next to "Mommy Must Reads".. That being said, if at any point. next week, next month, you have something new to add,, just let me know and I will put it up.
If you don't feel comfortable leaving a comment,, email me at sarahcrann@ymail.com!!

I'll be back on Monday, talking about the "V" word!!!  (insert evil laugh) I know that will get you all back on Monday!!!
Have a great weekend ladies, I'm off to a birthday party!!!

Thursday, January 20, 2011

The Eye Opener I needed!!

So, today is going to be a little different than previous days.  I am sharing a blog that was written by a friend. I read it last night, and I have to say that it was the eye opener that I have been needing..
After reading it, I almost feel bad about getting on here and complaining about all of the things I do, when there are so many people that are being faced with such difficult situations.
I complain of temper tantrums, spilled milk, lazy husbands. Meanwhile, there are mothers out there praying for their child's (born or unborn) life!! 
Please read the following blog. Share your thoughts, prayers and comments for Mandy and her family in the comment section below as she will be receiving all of them.
I will be posting a link to her blog so that you can all follow her journey if you wish. The link will be at the bottom of my page under "Take a look at these great blogs"
Thanks in advance for your support ladies, I know that my amazing group of followers will help another mommy when in need!


A Bitter-Sweet Beginning

"...Meanwhile I feel as though I'm standing in the middle of a crowded room, screaming at the top of my lungs, and no one even bothers to look up."

It's days like today that leave me in need of an output, some way to release everything I feel inside and out, a way to lift the weight from my shoulder as I gasp for a breath of fresh air. 

21 weeks ago today I became pregnant with my third child. 
Having a past history of pre-term birth lodged great worries in my head. I went into labour with my second daughter at 28 weeks. With an almost 2 year old, I lay in a hospital bed, five hours away from home. I gave birth at 30 weeks and 4 days gestation. Lauren weighed a mere 3lbs 7.5oz. Our lives were turned upside down. Is she going to be okay? Will she be okay down the road? How long will she have to remain in the hospital? How will myself and my boyfriend afford to make the weekly 5 hours drive to visit on weekends and then the 5 hour drive back home. All the meanwhile, trying to maintain a job, pay bills, and remain supportive parents at home with our soon to be 2 year old daughter. Well we survived, we all came out on top, beat up, but stronger than ever.

My past history of pre-term birth has been worrisome enough during the past 21 weeks. Along with the fact that this has been a problem pregnancy with bleeding, pressure, cramping...many extra hospital visits and an excess amount of ultrasounds. Along with a miscarriage scare in my first trimester. All while juggling our Building Representative job, that restricts us to our buildings nearly 24/7 AND being parents to a soon to be 4 and 2 year old. How do we do it? Good question... In the meantime, at 19 weeks gestation I received word of having tested positive of being high risk for baby having Trisomy 18 (with chances of 1/150). Great, even more to worry about, more nearly-impossible appointments to attend to. Plus who will watch the girls? 

Today, I attended an Ultrasound in Hamilton, followed my a meeting with both a Genetic Counsellor and Specialized Doctor. (Luckily, my father-in-law offered to watch the girls as we headed out for my appointment at 6am and our very understand co-worker agreed to cover our building as need be.) I watched the screen attentively as the Ultrasound Tech ran the camera across my stomach over and over again. All I could think is, "My god, this baby girl is absolutely beautiful in 2D, how much more beautiful would she be in real life?" After the Ultrasound was complete, myself and my boyfriend quickly made our way through the maze of a hospital to meet with the Genetic Counsellor. She explained how during my IPS Screening, they tested 5 different proteins in my blood, those numbers should fall around 1.00, but 3 out of 5 of my numbers were below 1.00. One number fell at 0.17, another at 0.49. This didn't make me feel so great until she stated that generally babies with Trisomy 18 would give an IPS result of all 5 numbers being low (we took one step back, then one step forward) She said my ultrasound result came back fine, EXCEPT, baby's hands were clenched, with fingers overlapped. This being a classic telltale sign of baby having Trisomy 18 (and back another step we go). 

For people who aren't quite aware of what Trisomy 18 is, the doctor quoted it as being "A disease that's incompatible with life." Babies chances of surviving until birth is 1/3000. If baby does make it to birth, baby has severe mental retardation and severe birth defects. The average life expectancy of a baby who does make it to birth with Trisomy 18 is 5-15 days, with less than a 1% chance of making it to adulthood. Those statistics just makes me hang my head as a tear escapes from the corner of my eye. 

Following my meeting with the Doctors, they managed to fit me in for an Amniocentesis, which it the ONLY way to know for sure if our baby girl is going to be okay or not. Helplessly, I laid on the bed as a nurse used the Ultrasound Camera to guide the Doctor, who inserted a needle through my abdomen, through my uterus, into into my womb, and extracted 3 syringes of amniotic fluid from right next to our baby girl.

Now all that's left to do is attempt to stay positive and just wait...
...wait for the good
...wait for the bad

It's days like today that my heart aches so severely for my family. Nothing has ever been easy for us. I feel terrible for my boyfriend who has to deal with all of my frustrations, all the worries of this pregnancy, who remains a good father to our two girls, AND does 100% of our required two person job. In the meantime, being a supportive, understanding boyfriend. Our two girls bare the effects of our stresses as well. I often feel a failure when I need to lay down and rest, when I can't play with them when they demand it. I hate not being able to put my 2 year old to bed because lifting her into her crib sets my stomach pains into high gear. Both girls miss me while I attend endless amounts of appointments and when I'm out of commission in bed. I also feel for my wonderful mother who stated tonight, "The worst part of being a parent is when your child is in pain and there's absolutely nothing you can do about it." My mom, my best friend, understands as well as feels all of my concerns and pain. And also carries the weight of my problems on her own shoulders. 


I feel so bad that everyone else is coping with this, just like I am. I feel like I should shelter my girls from our issues more, but it's seems so impossible. Am I a failure? Am I weak? I don't know those answers, but I sure feel as if I am. Being the mother and house-wife that I SHOULD and WANT to be seems so impossible to me right now. I often just want to go to bed and stay there until I wake up from this current nightmare, but I can't be selfish. My girls and boyfriend deserve better...I'm reaching for that better but just can't seem to grasp a hold of it. 

May this blog be an output for all my feelings, worries, and fears because the weight on my shoulders is getting too much to bare.

Here's to a bitter-sweet beginning.

- Mandy -

                                                   Today's Ultrasound (21 Weeks

Thursday morning Chaos!

"Mommy?? Mommy!! It's Gracie! Wake up, I have to go to school!" (as if I didn't know it was her! lol)

What an awesome way to start my day!! This is what I hear every Tuesday and Thursday morning, and I LOVE it.
I love it, not only because it is the sweetest little voice to wake up to in the morning, but because it is in fact Tuesday or Thursday. In an hour, that little voice will be entertaining 10 other little people and 2 teachers for the rest of the morning!! Nursery School,, here we come!!!

Please don't be mistaken,, these mornings don't always keep this pleasant tone. Usually within minutes of this sweet little voice waking me up,, chaos begins! "I don't want toast! I don't want to wear that! I don't want to brush my teeth! I don't want a pony, I want two barrettes!" (why do I have no idea how to spell this word?) Honestly, she isn't a brat, she's just 3 and very independent. Like most of us women, she knows what she wants and usually manages to get it! 
All of this usually goes on while I'm trying to decide whether I should let my youngest sleep a little longer, or get her up and add to the chaos. Usually, I let her sleep a little longer. Then, when I finally get her up, I'm in a mad rush to get food into her, diaper changed and dressed for the day.

By this point, Gracie is probably brushing her teeth and most likely there is Dora toothpaste in every inch of my washroom! At least she's brushing her teeth!!! While she brushes her teeth, I pack up her "homework", a change of clothes, snow pants, hat, mittens.... MITTENS!!! Why is it that I can NEVER find 2 mittens??!! They're just like socks, do they disappear? Does the dog eat them? My gosh!! Why can I NEVER FIND 2 DAMN MITTENS??!!!  I find the mittens and... what's that smell?? Lylah pooped! Awesome! 

Next step is starting the car, getting it warmed up. It's freezing cold out and my children won't keep their hats or mittens on. Lylah won't even keep her boots and socks on! (Once we're in that car, all of it comes off). Hopefully the windows will defrost in this time too,, because I HATE scraping!!
So... automatic start!!! AND..... automatic start isn't working!!! Of course not, why would it?!! Out we go to a cold car with 2 inches of ice on all the windows. Did I mention that I hate scraping?!  10 minutes later, we hit the road! I have 5 minutes to get there and its a 12 minute drive. Fantastic!! Why do already crazy days seem so much crazier when we have somewhere to be??

I love our drive to school. (I'm being serious)We have the very same conversation every single time, and I wouldn't change it for anything in the world. We talk about what she WILL do, what she WILL NOT do. We go over manners and how she'll react to certain situations. We name the names of every child in her class. She then always tell Lylah and I how much she'll miss us while we're gone. She tells us how we should spend our time. Usually she wants us to do groceries. By the time we get there, we've covered everything..EVERYTHING!
Off my baby goes to "school". I have 2.5 hours with my other baby to do whatever I want. I have only one car seat to buckle and unbuckle. I can go to any grocery store that I want ,because I don't need a cart that fits two. (while I am on the subject.. more grocery stores really need to invest in carts for 2 kids,, nothing fancy, just room for 2 bums! Is that too much to ask??) 
I remember that I used to think it was so hard taking one child out to do errands. (and it was! I'm not taking that away from anyone) My gosh though, it's tough with two! I honestly don't know how you mothers with more than 2 do it! (and I don't plan on finding out!)
I never do too much during my 2.5 hours, but its just so nice to be able to get things done in half the time. I'm only getting one child in and out of the car seats, and I'm not stopping to take a 3 year old to the potty every 10 minutes. I'm dealing with only 1 meltdown and not two!

I battled with the idea of Nursery School for a very long time. I didn't want to pay for something like this, when I was at home anyway. Plus, Gracie wasn't even 3 yet, I didn't think that it was really necessary? I started to notice that she was getting very shy around adults and even children. Shy to the point of grabbing my leg, or putting her head down whenever strangers tried to talk to her.. This is when i realized that even though I am home with her, and keeping her busy and "somewhat" entertained, she just wasn't getting the socialization that she needed. 
Within a month of "school", she was like a different child.  She is almost a little too social now! She cries when I pick her up because she is having so much fun, and i think she really appreciates both myself and Lylah a little more when she gets home. She has learned so much, made friends,and she does so many fun things that I could never provide her with at home  It's a nice break for me, and I love having the 1 on 1 time with the baby. (That is one thing we don't get with our babies that come after the first one). Not that there is anything wrong with it, but I do enjoy seeing how different she is with her big sister not around. Some days we just come home and play. I find her so independent with Gracie not doing everything for her. It's really neat to watch her on her own. She misses Gracie though, I think she gets bored.
Gracie will only be 3 when she starts JR Kindergarten this September, my heart beats faster even as I type that. I know though that she'll be fine and that she'll love spending the full day there, thanks to her Nursery school.
I think that this year isn't just a "warm up" for her, but also for me... 2.5 hours twice a week is one thing, but full day every other day?? Yikes! That's a long time to be away from them!!

If any of you are considering some sort of nursery school/ daycare for your little ones, I highly recommend it. It is worth every penny! It is especially worth it when she comes home with her crafts or little gifts that she has made me, and seeing her proud little face as we look at it. It wasn't easy at first, I cried the first few times as she said "good bye mommy" and ran away, but I'm so happy that I took the plunge... It's been a really great experience. Even if it does make my mornings crazier than they already were!

I better get going so that I can prepare myself for the chaos that is about to begin!! Oh how I love Thursdays! Have a great day everyone!!!

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Facebook: Friend or Foe?

"What a great day", "lovin' my life", "has the best husband in the world"..... There certainly are a lot of happy people on Facebook, aren't there??
Does anyone else notice that when it comes to Facebook, it is either this extreme (HAPPY!), or the complete opposite? (MISERABLE!) This what we find so exciting? This is what we can't go an hour without getting on to see? A bunch of miserable, negative grumps or a whole lot of annoyingly happy people flaunting their perfect life!! (I say "flaunting" in the nicest possible way)

Facebook is huge! So huge that people check it while driving, or while waiting for appointments. Heck, people are even getting in trouble at work for being on it too much or while they're supposed to be working! It's usually the first thing that I do when I get a chance to sit every morning!
My question is this. What is so appealing about it? What draws us back? Are we just that nosy? Are we wanting to live through others lives? Is it our way of "staying connected" when we're trapped in the house every day? As if we don't have enough going on, not we have Facebook upsetting us!
Do any of you ever find yourself wondering what someone "meant" with one of their status' or with something they said on yours or someone else's wall? I have a friend who finds herself bothered that her "friends" don't comment on pictures of her kids. I can relate to that in a way. All of these issues, yet we all still love it!
I've gotten a lot better, I try not to let the little things on there bother me, and I try to use it strictly for entertainment. I do have a lot of girlfriends that get pretty upset over stuff that goes on, on there. It's really too bad.

After one of my previous posts, I was talking to a friend through email. She emailed me and told me that i made a good point about Facebook and how she felt that so many times, it can drag you down, rather than lift you up! She made a very good point of saying that she feels it is Toxic!!

Again! I love Facebook more than anyone around, I spend way too much time on it,  I can probably seem annoyingly happy, and downright grumpy on it, I post pictures and lots of inspirational quotes. I am definitely not coming down on anyone.. I'm sure that no one posts things online with the intentions of hurting someone. (for the most part)
Lets think about it though.

Lets think about the girls and guys who are so desperately searching to find "the right one". They have to hear about engagements, see pics of rings, stare at wedding photos..
Lets think about the people who didn't land great paying jobs or who struggle from month to month to get the bills paid.. They stare at pictures of fancy new cars, beautiful new homes, 60' plasma tvs', trips to Europe or the Caribbean.
Lets think about all of the girls who desperately want a child and can't have one. They have to read status' of people that are just finding out they're pregnant, they have to look at ultrasound pictures and all of the newborn shots.
Finally,, lets think about all of the mommies out there, new and old, who just can't seem to get it together, or who are suffering from postpartum depression, the mommies that are already beating themselves up for things that they aren't doing.. They're looking at pictures or these happy families, day trips, playgroups, reading status' about perfect lives...
I think that Toxic is the perfect way to describe what we are doing to ourselves...

On the other hand, I don't think that people should have to stop posting pictures of their children,engagement rings, weddings etc.. I don't think that they should stop putting on status' of how happy they are. They shouldn't have to feel like they can't be happy or proud, or excited.
What is my point then?? I guess I'm not really sure!!! lol
I guess the thing that I struggle with the most, is this: Are these people really as happy as they portray?Are they as perfect as they portray? Maybe some of them are, maybe some of them are trying to convince everyone else and themselves that they are. Who would ever really know.

Do you think that in todays society, we're considered to be weak if we show our faults? Are we weak if we have a bad day/week or if we're anything less than perfect? Is it social networks that make us feel this way? Is that why so many people would rather just "be" perfect?
Again, maybe some of them really are just perfect!!! (which is awesome  for them) I realize that a lot of people just don't feel comfortable sharing negative things, they don't like getting too personal.
I'm sure that many would be mortified at the thought of getting as personal as I do on here... but at the same time, Facebook can't get much more personal.
I read day after day (after day) status' of girls saying that they are taking a break from Facebook, or that they're signing off, that they won't be around for a few days. They always come back!! Why do we keep coming back??

I'm hoping to get some feedback on today's post. I really am curious what all of you think about this subject. I've talked to enough people that I know I'm not alone..
I really don't know what the "point" of my blog is, I don't really have a conclusion,, i guess today was just more of a venting session.
A lot of you have talked with me about Facebook and the negative effect it can have on our emotions so I thought that I would tackle the subject.It was harder than I thought! As I finish up typing, I think that I have more questions than I started with!! Hopefully you got something out of it!
See you all on Facebook later!!! LOL

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Sorry Ladies!

Sorry ladies,, the blog is going to have to wait until tomorrow.
I just sat down to start typing and my eyes are literally rolling in my head. Hopefully when i finally get it posted tomorrow, it will be worth the wait!
In the meantime, check out this link to a friends blog.
I am happy to say that after reading my blog, she was inspired to start her own. I'm sure a lot of you will be able to relate to Vicki as well!
http://victoria-thefirstday.blogspot.com/2011/01/first-day-of-rest-of-your-life.html


Goodnight!

Crazy day!!

I'm sure that all of you mommies out there can relate with this, I have had a crazy busy day! I have my inlaws coming for dinner in an hour and I'm not ready at all.


I just wanted to get on and let you all know that the blog is coming, it will just be a little later tonight. Check back at around 9pm!!
I've decided that I need to talk a little more about FACEBOOK!!! YEP!!! The oh so great Facebook and what it can do to our emotions!

I hope that you've all had a great day, and that it hasn't been nearly as busy as mine!
S

Monday, January 17, 2011

Who Needs a Time Out More? The Kids, or Us???

You can learn many things from children.  How much patience you have, for instance.  ~Franklin P. Jones

Just recently, I really started to pay attention to my moods. To what is going on around me when I start to lose my patience with my girls, even just with life in general.
Some days I don't "lose" my patience, I just didn't have any to start with.

What makes us mommies lose our patience so quickly??? (those of us that aren't perfect)
It's amazing really, when you start to pay attention.
I have found that usually it has nothing to do with my girls. It is either everything to do with me, something to do with my surroundings or everything to do with the people around us.
It might be that I'm frustrated with my husband and the fact that he's sitting on the couch while i'm running around like crazy. Maybe it's because the person next to me in Walmart has a look on their face like it is the first time they've watched a 3 year old have a meltdown. Maybe it's because we're running late. Maybe it's because we're at a friends house and I'm worried about their floor getting dirty or the little fingerprints they are leaving on every single thing they touch.
Can anyone else relate to me on this? Gosh, I hope so, or I must sound like a complete nutbar.
Next time you find yourself getting ready to lose your cool, stop and pay attention. Why are you losing your cool?
For the most part, (for me) it comes back, AGAIN, to what other people think.
Don't get me wrong, there are still many times throughout the day that my kids are simply driving me crazy and doing stuff that they shouldn't be. Usually during the day when I'm home alone with the girls, we all get along fairly well. Add some people or a different setting to the mix.......

Last week, someone (in MY house) made the point of saying that my (just) 3 year old is getting saucy. As soon as those words were uttered out of his mouth,, I started analyzing everything that she did. I was like this sudden drill sergeant who was going to make sure that she wasn't saucy. I was going to prove him wrong! Really, why did I even care what he thought or said? Even if she is saucy, what's it to him? I did defend her by saying that she was in nursery school all morning and didn't have her afternoon nap. That gets me "good mom" points, right?  I still felt the need to worry about it though. Within minutes, I was getting upset with her for every little thing that she said did, or didn't do. How was that fair to her? It wasn't her issue, it was MINE!
The very same night, another friend made a point of saying "wow, this is what it is like when two kids eat sugar".... I was thrown a little off guard. I'm sure he meant nothing mean by it, but it just struck the wrong nerve. Yes, my kids were running around having fun, and when a 3 year old and a 1 year old play together, it isn't always quiet, but they were having a blast... Until I stopped them.
I stopped them from playing, from having fun, from entertaining each other, from laughing "loudly" all because I was concerned that it was "bothering" our guests.
As I type it, and read it back to myself, I can see just how wrong this is, but at the time, I guess I just didn't want my kids being judged.*I* didn't want to be judged!! Naturally,, lol.. the way to deal with that would be to get mad at my children, right??!
Once I laid in bed that night, I realized just how horrible of a mother I was. My kids were being kids, why would I ever stop them? Maybe instead of getting up and putting my children to bed, I should have told our guests that they were free to leave anytime they wanted.

Some days, I can almost feel the anxiety building in my body as I look around my house and see 5 loads of laundry, toys scattered on the ground, dishes piling up in the sink, an empty fridge and 2 hungry children. I'm sure if I looked in the mirror, I could probably see the patience floating out of my body. The feeling of being completely overwhelmed takes over my body, and even the slightest thing makes me lose my cool. (when i say lose my cool, i just mean that I get irritable, snippy, short-tempered. I don't want you to all think that I'm a raging lunatic or anything) Again, this has nothing to do with them, and everything to do with me. I say this as if I'm an expert and know better, yet I get upset because my 3 year old doesn't want a nap, or if she takes too long to get up the stairs or put her coat on. It still irritates me that I just changed my 1 year olds diaper and I can already smell her across the room. I get upset that she won't sit in her high chair or in tub. I could cry because she is throwing her dinner on the floor and I just mopped. Why??  Because I'M having a bad day.Because I didn't get enough sleep last night. Because I didn't make it to the grocery store yesterday. Because I didn't get up early enough to have things done before they got up. Because I slept in and now we're in a rush and running late..

So.... who needs the time out? Who deserves to be yelled at? Mommy does! My girls definitely do not!

I read a story recently, I wish I could remember where I read it.  This very subject was discussed. I may not have the story perfect, but I will tell what I remember.
It discussed a primary teacher and her students. The teacher had a fight with her husband the night before and was stressed when she got to school. She had no patience at all. The children were being children and she got mad, yelled and put them all in a time out.. After a few minutes, one of the children came to her desk and asked her if she thought she might feel better if she came and had a time out as well...
Isn't that hilarious?? Kids are smart!! She realized, like I have so many times, that the children weren't behaving any differently that day than they did every other day. Because of her mood though,, she had no patience.

Things haven't changed much since I came to the realization of all of these things. I still yell, I want to pull my hair out some days. I do find myself stopping and thinking about what is going on now though. Once I can actually stop and figure out what is "really" bothering me, I can feel myself calming down.
Sometimes I do need a time out, 5 minutes in a room by myself to just sit and breathe, or cry, or even bang my head off the wall.. HA!!
Just yesterday, with tears streaming down my face, I told my husband that I just needed 5 minutes upstairs, because I could feel the patience "floating away" (I had a tough day for many reasons).... 5 minutes was all it took. I laid on my bed, let the tears flow, and that was that!!
It saved my blood pressure from going crazy, and it saved me looking really mean to my girls.. Everyone was a whole lot happier and it only took 5 minutes of alone time!
In a perfect world, every day would be like that, until then I'm sure I'll continue going into my girls bedrooms at night, looking at the little angels sleeping and wondering how I could ever get mad at something so perfect. I will continue to lay in bed and beat myself up, wondering why I can't be a better mom. I think this is just our life from here on out. We'll have good days and we'll have bad days, but hopefully as we spend more time figuring out what is going on with US, and taking more TIME OUTS, we'll start having more and more good days with our "little angels"!!

Have a great day ladies, hopefully you don't need too many "time outs"!!!
xo

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Why don't they get it???!!

It's not easy being a mother.  If it were easy, fathers would do it.  ~From the television show The Golden Girls


Oh, What a perfect subject today! Let me just start by saying that I am sitting down to write this after just getting home from lunch at McDonalds (Don't judge!)lol and shopping at Walmart (again,don't judge) lol
Needless to say,, I'm more than ready to let off some steam.. My journey to Walmart will have it's own blog next week!


It's funny, so many of the comments that I have received, whether on here or through private emails discuss "DADDY". So many of us wonder why they just "don't get it"? Get what?? EVERYTHING!!! 
I love my husband more than anyone in the world, that has never been an issue. Some days though, I catch myself wondering how in the world he ended up like this!!
I've thought about it a lot lately, and I think that what I have realized is that he hasn't changed a bit, he's always been this way. That is the problem!!! 
You see,, one of the things about "parenting" that bothers me the most is that our (mommies) lives change so much, so fast. Mens don't seem to change. Yes, I guess to a certain extent, they do, but not like ours!
I think that the easiest way to put all of this into words, is like this:


MY HUSBAND: still goes to the gym every day,still plays golf all summer, still meets the boys after work for drinks on Friday, still pees by himself, still showers by himself, still works on little projects in the garage, still manages to eat his whole dinner in peace, still gets to watch his UFC fights,still gets to have adult conversations every day,finishes work at 5pm,has weekends, gets holidays. I could go on and on.. just in case he reads this though, I better stop while I'm ahead! :)


ME: I can't even find 20 minutes for the stepper, I get dinner (not drinks) with the girls a few times a YEAR,I pee with the door open and usually with a child on my lap, never shower alone (and like one comment states,,, it's not like the good old days when it was our hubby in there) I find my biggest project figuring out how to keep my 1 year old in her high chair or how to make a bird out of Playdoh, I eat a forkful of food between getting a juice, catching flying food or wiping hands (OR putting my one year old back in her high chair), I read stories and answer the question "why?" about 100 times a day, I don't finish "work" until my head hits the pillow, I don't get weekends or holidays...or sick days!!


It's easy to feel sorry for yourself when you get going! But seriously, when was the last time that you got to read a magazine,,, like a WHOLE magazine or newspaper without being interrupted? Men just take theirs to the washroom and come out when it's done! Can you imagine what would happen if we did that??!


Again, I know that I shouldn't complain. This is what I have signed up for, this is what I wanted. I chose to not go back to work, I should be happy with this "deal".  (For those of you that work on top of being a mommy, I raise my glass to you, you must all be superwomen! Although, you DO get to pee by yourself!)lol
My hubby is great, I really can't complain. He does a lot of the groceries, a lot of the cooking and he usually even gets up on Saturday morning and makes breakfast and coffee before I'm up. He doesn't care that laundry isn't done or that the dishwasher STILL hasn't been emptied, but sometimes he says and does things that just really aren't SMART!
I think the best to date, is when he asked me "why don't you have any patience for her?" 
Really??! I think that I saw red! YOU WANNA SEE PATIENCE??!!! lol
Why don't I have patience? Hmm,,, let me think.... Oh, I don't know, maybe because I'm on hour 12 of terrible two tantrums and a 1 year old climbing anything that she can! Or maybe because it's 6pm and I haven't had 2 seconds to myself today?? Maybe because I never sleep sound because my ears always seem to be turned on during the night "just in case"!! 
Is it just me, or was that a really DUMB thing to ask?!
I think him asking me that, was the day that I realized "they just don't get it". They don't get how tired we are, or what our days consist of, they don't get that maybe we'd just like a hug or a "Thanks for everything you do", a day at the spa, a dinner out.. They don't get that our lives have been turned upside down along with our hormones and our bodies. We should probably just throw our hands up in the air now and give in, because they JUST DON'T GET IT!!


My next question though, is, who's fault is it that they don't get it? When you sit and really think about it, I think we're probably the ones to blame. (I might be in for an argument with that comment, right?)
We let them away with it! I know we don't control them, and they usually do what they want anyway, but I know for myself, I've never left him longer than a few hours with both kids. When I do go, I make sure that I have everything he needs ready. Snacks are ready, pjs are out, diapers and wipes are where he can see them, he doesn't have to bathe them...how much easier can I make it for him??
The smart thing to do, would be to walk out the door, and be on our way.. What's the worst that could happen, right?
We make things so easy for them, and then we complain that they have no clue! Duh,, maybe we're the dumb ones?! 
I'm usually such a grump by the time that I am walking out the door for a girls dinner. Simply because I've been running around for an hour doing everything that I can to make "parenting" simple for my husband! Who makes it simple for us?


Another thing that I am famous for, is rushing home. Why do we do that? My hubby says "go do what you have to do" (usually during nap time!) I get so excited! Awesome, a couple of hours to just go do what I HAVE to do! Groceries, drug store, maybe the mall.. 
After about 45minutes, the anxiety sets it. I better get home! What if one of them woke up? What if something is wrong, what if, what if, what if!!! And... there goes my time out,,, home I go to save my husband, who might I add, is always just fine! 


At the end of the day, how can we blame THEM?? We've created them!! I'm not the only one that has done this because I've talked to a lot of you that have admitted to doing all of the same things.
I wonder if we make them feel incapable when we do this? I think that I would be insulted if my husband thought that I couldn't handle things without him "holding my hand"... hmmm. maybe another blog topic?


I think that I should probably quit while I'm ahead, this subject could go on forever. I guess men probably will never "Get It", but in their defense,, if they don't have to, why would they?




*Have a great weekend ladies! I look forward to hearing from all of you! Hopefully we'll get some new names joining in on these discussions!! If you don't want to comment, but you're reading, (which is Awesome!) could you do me a favour and let me know that you're following by hitting the "follow" button up top on the right? Even if you want to put an anonymous name in. I probably won't keep up with the blogs as much if I don't have enough following... Thanks so much! (I won't stop,, just may not do them every single day)*


Sarah

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