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Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Maybe Tomorrow.

Sorry ladies,, I still can't seem to find it in me to do this again today. I apologize, and please know that it's not that I don't want to be on here. I know that you all come on hoping for a new post every day and I hate the thought of letting everyone down.
I can't get into details but my appointment with the doctor wasn't exactly as i had hoped yesterday.. I thought that he would just fluff everything off and send me on my way. It turns out that he wants my baby to see a pediatric cardiologist in Hamilton. I'm trying not to worry, and think the best, but the blow and shock of him saying that has taken its toll on me. I just need a couple of days to pull myself together which I know that I can do..

For today, I am including a great article that I came across online. It really hit home for me and hopefully you'll all enjoy it. Sorry about the width of the article, everything will be back to normal tomorrow.


Stay-at-home mom Tracy Cooper looks back at five years of Mommy Diaries
 and wishes she spent less time making homemade baby food and more time on herself. 

Here’s a short, effective recipe for making sure both you 
and your husband are equally sleep-deprived in your baby’s first
weeks:

Have your husband get up in the dead of night to change the baby’s diaper when the
alarm goes off for her feeding. As mother of the exclusively breastfed newborn,
then get up yourself to – duh – actually feed said baby. When you’re done, have 
your husband, who has lumbered back into bed and fallen into a deep sleep,
get up again to change the baby’s diaper. About two hours later, repeat. 
This way, you will both be bleary-eyed, zombie-like creatures stumbling about
the house during the day.
This insanity is indeed what Tom and I did after Mary’s birth. I guess since
he had several weeks off work, we wanted to share, in our excitement, every 
task as parents.
But why did we change diapers before and after every feeding around the clock? 
This represents at least 20 diaper changes a day! I can assure you,
our just-as-adored baby #2 never got such over-pampering.
Mary is now five and our other daughter, Adelaide, is three. And as I 
think back to those first days, weeks, months and years as a parent, there are a
few ways I’ve changed, and things I wish I’d known.
For example – and this is going to sound counter-intuitive – I wish I had 
given a little less attention to Mary in those two-plus years she was an only child.
I really did think I had to be entertaining and interacting with her all of her waking 
hours at first. While this was fun for her and for me at the time, I feel like it took her
a little longer to learn to entertain herself than it would have if I had let her play on
her own more. I think it also turned her world upside down for a bit when her little sister 
was born and I just couldn’t play with her all the time.
I would be a little less uptight about some insignificant safety concerns. 
I remember getting squeamish when I felt relatives or friends were holding baby 
Mary with her head not at the perfect angle.
I wouldn’t have made so much baby food from scratch. I know, it sounds 
awful, but I really feel this one. How many hours did I spend after putting 
toddler Mary to bed at night, roasting sweet potatoes and steaming broccoli, 
then pureeing and spooning it into plastic cubes for freezing? You know what I 
wish I’d done with some of those hours? Read a non-baby book or painted my 
toenails or in some other way taken time to recharge. There are many high-quality, 
organic baby food options out there now – including frozen, pureed vegetable cubes!
I would have pulled that thumb out of Mary’s mouth when she discovered it 
at eight weeks of age. Thumb-sucking was so cute then, and it meant she never 
wailed at night for a pacifier that had fallen out of the crib. Five years later, 
she still loves to suck her thumb and I have been unable to find a way to 
motivate her to stop.
I would have implemented a ‘tidy-up’ policy years ago. I used to just find it easier 
to do after Mary was in bed. Instead, I am met with teenage-like refusal from my 
five-year-old who doesn’t understand why I suddenly want her to clean up.
There will likely be more regrets as Mary gets older. But so far, there are more 
significant things I wouldn’t change: spending quality time with her and Adelaide; 
reading to them and providing lots of books; insisting on a no-hitting policy 
between the girls; setting aside lots of family time and voicing and showing 
affection often.
There is one other thing I’d change. I didn’t know you could love someone 
so much until I held Mary in my arms. With that knowledge, we would have 
started our family earlier!

Published in March 2011.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Will be back tomorrow

Sorry ladies, I'm having a bit of a rough day. I just don't have it in me to do this today. I'm hoping to be back tomorrow.
Have a good day.


Monday, March 28, 2011

I MISS DIAPERS!

Happy Monday Ladies!
I had a bit of a rough weekend, so this post is going to be short and sweet. The brain isn't working at full function today.

We were out and about on our "family day" yesterday when I realized what I was going to write about.
We had just gotten to Kitchener. We walked down the second or third aisle in Factory Shoe, and I hear "Mommy, i have to go to the washroom!!!"
Ugggghhh,,, of course you do!! (yes, I think I said those words to her!)
I don't do public washrooms very well, so daddy went with her on the search for the washroom.
5 minutes after returning from the pee I (along with 5 other people!) hear "Mommy, my poo is coming!"...........
This time she was told that she had to wait. Out the door we go (with no purchase) and hit the gas to get to her Uncles (faster than planned) so that her "poo could come"!!

Here is my question ~ Why in God's name do we rush our kids to be potty trained?? Yes, it's great while we're at home, but it's a real pain in the butt when we're out in a public place.

For some reason, Gracie has to go every time we enter a new store. I don't know if it's because she wants to check out the toilet in each new location or if we give the kid way too much to drink. Either way, she pees way too much!
It really sucks when I've got both kids out by myself. We have to leave the cart, stroller, whatever it may be, find a stall, help Gracie with the whole potty program, and at the same time stop Miss Lylah from touching all the filth that comes along with public washrooms. Just like that, my "outing" has turned bad! Usually this is where the outing turns into one of those "Let's just go home!" days

And then.. there are the times that we're driving in the middle of nowhere, with no washroom in site..These are my favourite moments and when I usually turn to bribery!! "If you hold it until we get to where we're going, mommy will buy you a treat!" Works every time! I know one day I'm going to have a big puddle of pee in my car, but I'm taking my chances!! It beats finding a gas station or coffee shop and taking both kids out of car seats to go pee in a yucky washroom!!

I think the worst was in Cuba. Gracie had to pee every 10 minutes. Every time we'd finally sit down, we were beckoned!! Thankfully our room was right next to the pool because the public washrooms were disgusting.
I remember one day, Gracie came running to me from the pool saying that she had to pee. When I let out my little huge sigh, a mother that we had met said "Didn't you tell her to just go in the pool?"!!!!
UMMMMMM,,,, "NO!!!!!!!"
She said "Really? You don't think everyone else does it? All those people at the pool bar all day? There's enough chemicals in there to kill it, don't worry! It sure beats going back to the room every 10 minutes"
As I stood there dumbfounded, Peter spoke up and said "It's not really something we want to teach her. Her Aunt and Uncle have a pool,and we don't want her thinking it's okay once we get home."
Thankfully he spoke up, because I was speechless.
Sure it would have been easier to tell her to pee in the pool, but what are we teaching her? What does that say for us as parents? Besides, I WAS swimming in that pool! GROSS!! The ocean is one thing, but not the pool!! LOL

So that's it, that's my post, I guess it's almost a vent day. It's so frustrating when out in public and they have to pee every 10 minutes. Diapers were SO much easier!!
Have a great day ladies!





Friday, March 25, 2011

BullYing Continued.because i wasn't done yet!!!

It's funny because when I sat down to write the bullying post the other day, I wasn't sure what I was going to write, because as I said, I really haven't had to deal with this subject "head on" yet.
Once I started typing, I found myself feeling really passionate about the subject. It's funny how this blog can stir up so many feeling and emotions that I didn't even know were inside of me. Hopefully it does the same for some of you.. (not just the bullying post, but the blog in general)

After reading some of the comments that were left, I found myself questioning so many other subjects.
These are some of the questions that I've been throwing around since the other day.

Where do the "bullies" come from? Are they created by parents who are trying to raise kids that won't be bullied. Are we making them too tough?

Is Bullying a "learned" behavior?? If so, where are the kids learning to act like this? Are they watching their parents be bullies? siblings? or are they learning it from school?

Is this behavior something that is just "in" certain kids? I answered this one very quickly because I refuse to believe that.

I think if we asked ourselves or anyone, where a "pushover" child comes from, most people would say that it is a learned behavior. I would! My guess would be that one of their parents, or both are pushovers as well, and they've just learned to be the same way. They've watched their parents be treated a certain way, or never stick up for themselves, so obviously, that is the "norm" to them. OR. they've been told like one comment said, to "just ignore it".

Makes sense, right?
BUT.. if we ask ourselves if Bullies learn to be Bullies at home, I think the majority of people (especially parents of bullies) would say No.
Why?? Is it because it's scary to think that children are acting this way because of something they're seeing at home? Because none of us want to admit that we're not perfect and we may have a little "bully" inside of us. For me, that's exactly what it is!

How many times have you heard another parent say "Well they should learn to stick up for themselves" about another child? Isn't that in a sense a bully? What type of child do you think this parent will have in comparison to a mother who says "I don't want to cause any trouble by saying anything" after their child has been picked on. Hmmmm....... I see a bully, and a pushover!!!

Maybe I'm blabbing with all of this, maybe I'm just typing out my thoughts and they'll mean nothing to any of you, but honestly, these thoughts have been keeping me awake at night.
Which mom am I going to be? I don't want my girls to be picked on, but I also don't want them to be so tough that they end up being bullies. I also don't want them to be nerdy little tattle tales that think their mommy and daddy will always take care of things for them.

None of us are perfect parents, and we're all going to make mistakes. Our kids might turn out to be pushovers, and our kids might turnout to be bullies. Whether we like it or not. Even if we try everything in our power to avoid it, our kids might have days that they behave in ways that we don't want them to.

Quick example.. The past few times I've picked Gracie up from school, I've heard of "incidents" of Gracie snatching toys from other kids because "she wanted them", as well as trying to push kids out of seats at the craft station because "it was her turn".. I'm not going to lie, it stings to hear and my first reaction is "give me a break, she's 3!" However, what am I teaching her if I let her away with this? She's three and in a sense already acting like a bully at nursery school. I'm putting a stop to it now, and we talk about it this, and work on it every day. I will continue to do so until I hear that she is playing "nice". I don't want a bully child.. Sure it'd be easy to say "not my kid, she's perfect, she would never do that",, but really, the only person I'm hurting by believing that is myself and Gracie.

I guess the best thing we can do, is set an example in the way that we behave. The way that we treat our friends, peers, strangers at the store or at the playgrounds,spouses, even our children. We have to remember that we're always being watched, always being idolized and these little creatures pick up on body language, tones of voices, everything we do.


Now I just have to figure out how to create a child somewhere in the middle of pushover and bully!! lol
Have a great weekend ladies, I'm going to get me a bottle of red wine and maybe a good movie for tonight!



Thursday, March 24, 2011

Another Doctors appointment??!!

Okay ladies, I need your help..... AGAIN!!!!

Yesterday when Lylah got up from her morning nap, everything seemed fine. I changed her diaper, gave her some milk and her and Gracie went on to be the little savages that they are.
About 10 minutes later, she came running into the living room and when I looked at her, I almost stopped breathing. (I know that sounds dramatic, but I have a tendency of being just a little dramatic at times)
Her arms were PURPLE! I'm not being dramatic right now, they were literally purple with red patches. Her right arm was the worst. It was purple from her shoulder to her fingertips. The other are was from her elbow down to her fingertips.
She didn't seem bothered by it at all, I lifted her arms up and down, massaged them a bit, pushed on them to see if they hurt, checked for lumps and bumps, but nothing. There was nothing other than the purple. Oh, and they were cold. Freezing cold.. The rest of her body was warm.

I've noticed that her feet and lower legs have done this at times, but the same thing happened to Gracie when she was a baby and they told me that it takes a little longer for babies circulatory system to mature. So.. I didn't worry about it too much. Now though, it was her arms, that (for some reason) seems a little more scary.
I immediately asked Gracie what she did to her sister! Poor Gracie! I was just in shock and pretty scared and I think that thinking it was Gracie was actually a little comforting at that point. Gracie was very firm that she had done nothing to her "sissy".
Next step, call Telehealth. Of course there was an hour wait to speak to a nurse. So,, hang up and call daddy.
Guess what daddy says????  "Yeah! I noticed that the other day"
REALLY??!!! REALLY!!!! Who "notices" that their daughter's arms are purple and forgets to mention it to Mommy? That phone call didn't last long.. lol

So, now I can't get a hold of telehealth and I've realized that this isn't a freak thing, it's happened before.
I was a basket case.....
There was nothing left to do but clean. lol.. yep, thats the way I chose to deal with it. Clean..
The girls kept running around having fun, and I kept checking on Lylah. It was pretty weird. One minute it would seem to be better and then the next time I looked, it was back..
I finally put both girls down for their naps even though I was terrified to let Lylah out of my site. (I left her door open so that I could sneak in and look at her) By the time she was in bed, her skin looked ALMOST normal. Her arms were still a little more pink than they usually are, but the purple was gone.

Telehealth finally called me back and to make a long story short, after about 100 questions the nurse said to me "I'm going to be completely honest with you and tell you that I have no clue what this is! I recommend that you have her checked within 4 hours"  Just what I wanted to hear!! Have a nice day!!! FRIG!

I might be a horrible mother, but I didn't take her to the doctor. My "gut" told me that she was okay, she was back to looking completely normal and she was acting normal with no other symptoms. Obviously if things had changed, I would have taken her, but I couldn't imagine going to sit in the ER (among a ton of SICK people) with a little girl with no real symptoms. I did call the doctor and make an appointment for Tuesday morning though.

She was great all night last night, no sign of anything weird (and I checked her alot!) This morning she woke up and the first thing I did was check her out. I pulled her jammies off, changed her diaper and let out a sigh of relief that she looked PERFECT. Until after breakfast! I went to take her out of her high chair, and WHAM!! Purple arms! Not like they were yesterday, but definitely purple with the same red patches, and they were freezing again. This time though, it was gone within 10 minutes.
She is napping now, but I've decided if it does it again today, she's going straight to the doc!!

My question to you guys is,,,, Do any of you have ANY clue what this might be? Does anyone have any personal experiences with anything like this?  To me, it seems like a circulation thing, which terrifies me. I researched (idiot that I am) and a child's circulatory system should be fully mature by now. If she was still a newborn/infant (like Gracie was) it would be normal, but by this point she should be okay.
Please note that I'm not trying to get a diagnosis from any of you, and I will obviously take her to the doctor. I am just curious as to what everyone else thinks/ and or what everyone would do if they were me. Should I just take her right to the ER, wait until my appointment on Tuesday??

Thanks for listening ladies, I feel a little better talking about it..

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Bullying~

I received an email from a friend today, asking me to discuss bullying. I have to admit, I have (fortunately) not had to "deal" with this topic directly. YET!
I have been hearing the word  more and more of it recently and I have to tell you, it terrifies me that Gracie is starting school in September and may have to face some of these situations.

After reading this email, and also hearing a couple of other incidents lately, I can tell you that I am not going to be  a parent that thinks her child is perfect~I hope that if one of my girls ever hurts another child in any way, I would be made aware of it. Also, I will not be a parent that sits back and waits for a bad situation to pass.. I am disgusted that this stuff goes on, and even more disgusted that some parents/teachers watch it happen and do nothing to stop it. I WILL not be a mommy that worries about what the kids, teachers or other parents think of me. That I can promise!!!

There are certain situations yes, that I think kids have to work through and figure out on their own without Mommy and Daddy's help. They are going to be faced with all of the same situations that we were as kids. Situations that we made it through just fine.
I would never want my child to be one "of those kids" that threatens her parents on everyone. The "I'll tell my mommy!" kid. However,, if one of my girls ever comes home and says that they have been called Fat, or has been physically touched, I can guarantee you that I will be on the child's doorstep and their parents will be aware of it. Those are two things (among many) that I cannot handle..

When kids are out playing and other kids think it's fun to push, shove, kick and bully a kid,, that is just not right! When did this become okay?? I've even heard of situations where other parents and or teachers are standing around, watching, doing nothing to stop it.
Who is right? Who is wrong? Is it the childs fault if no one is teaching them any different??
Parents continue to defend their children by saying it is a game, or that they're just having "fun". REALLY???? It's a game when their is a child being physically hurt? Do you think it's fun for the kid laying on the ground? C'MON people!


In my opinion, in a situation like this, the (other kid's) parents fault!
Seriously, people in that situation need to stop and think about what they would have done had that been their child laying in the mud being kicked. Would it be "a game" then? Doubt it!
Those parents who didn't react are probably the ones that would make the biggest deal if it was their child.
Who just stands there, and watches their child (or a child in their care) physically hurting someone else?? Game or not, I would never sit and watch my child kick another in the ribs. (unless they called her FAT!..lol. not funny, I know!)
Seriously though, whatever happened to teaching the line ~ "Keep your hands to yourself"??
If parents would stick together, work together with these things, it would make life much easier for everyone.
I know that it's easy to say what we WOULD HAVE done if we were in the situation but i like to think that I would have said something to the parents and asked them what they would have done if it was their child. That being said, I know when you're in the situation it's almost like shock and we never react the way we think we would.


That is again, my opinion! I can't wait to hear everyone else's feelings on this!
Where are all of you ladies that left comments in the beginning??!!!!  We want to hear from you!

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

To fight or Not to Fight?

So a friend and I somehow came upon the subject of fighting last night.....
Fighting with your hubby/boyfriend...... whatever he may be..
We discussed what is right and what is wrong when it comes to fighting/bickering/arguing around the kids, and what is healthy for them. We seemed to be on the same page, but I know that there are a lot of different very STRONG opinions on this subject.

Last weekend, I was frustrated beyond belief with Peter.(It was something stupid and little but I was frustrated) I may have raised my voice just a little at him. Right away, Gracie said "Mommy, what's wrong? Why are you mad??"
I explained to her that I was just frustrated, but it was okay, sometimes people get mad, but that it was normal.
I felt so guilty.. but really, once I explained it to her, she didn't even seem fazed by it.
I'm sure if Peter would have yelled back, and it turned into an hour long screaming match, it would have been a different story, but this was just me "really" trying to get my point across. Within 10 minutes we were fine and back to laughing and joking.

I remember reading in a book once that it is good for kids to see some sort of conflict in their lives. After all, it does exist and we could never completely shelter them from it. (As much as we'd like to)
I forget what the book was, or who the author was, but they pointed out that it is actually very healthy to argue in front of your children, as long as they see soon after, that you have made up and are happy and still love each other. It teaches them that it's normal. That people can fight and still love each other.
If we always try to hide our arguments and fights from the children, we're kind of giving them this false impression that everyone is happy all the time and no one ever fights or argues. What is going to happen to that child the first time they see/hear someone argue, or the first time they have an argument with someone? Are they going to think their little worlds are shattering?

Or.............is it okay to shelter them? Is there really any harm in letting them think the world is a perfect place while they're young?

I guess my feeling is that arguing is completely normal, its a part of life, and everyone is going to experience it at some point. We're eventually going to have a fight/argument with our partner, and lets face it, the kids might just be around to witness it. So why hide it from them only to have it devastate them one day when it  happens unintentionally.

Obviously everyone fights differently. Please know,I'm not saying that(in any way shape or form) i think it's okay to be yelling and screaming or swearing at each other in front of the kids, but a little bickering or arguing, some heated discussions are probably okay. Kids can pick up on the tone in our voices.. I think that they can also pick up on tension. So if  we're fighting away from them, but then storming around the house or not talking to each other for the day, what really is the difference? It would probably be better to let them witness the argument so that they at least knew what was going on. It's probably a good thing for them to learn early that it's okay for me to disagree and have different opinions on things and even when they do, they still love each other.  Am I right here, or does everyone completely disagree with me??
I guess this is kind of like the drinking subject. Everyone is going to feel differently about it.

Let me know your opinions!!! I really want to hear from some of you that feel differently than me. No one ever disagrees with me, and that isn't any fun!!! lol



Monday, March 21, 2011

Mondays

I HATE Mondays! Like, with a passion, I HATE Mondays!!!

Maybe it's psychological, but I'm always so tired. On top of it, there is double the work that needs to be done because of the weekend. (I've already vented about this, so I won't get into it again!)
The girls both got up this morning wanting Daddy.. Gracie says "I thought Daddy was going to stay with us all day!" and Lylah walks around the house calling "Da Da".Both cry when they realize he's gone for the day. It's hard to comfort them when I'd like him to be home as much as they do.

I decided last night, that today would be the day that I did some organizing. The girls bedrooms are what my friend would call "organized chaos". I'm at the point that I actually hate going into them because I look around and see so much that has to be done.
It's not like they're dirty or anything, the girls just have so many too many clothes and toys, stuffed animals, books!!
What I really need to do, is go in with a garbage bag, and start pitching. The problem with that is, I can find sentimental value in everything that I look at. I'm only like this when it comes to stuff of the girls. I just can't get rid of their "stuff".

I got up this morning, went into Lylah's room to get her and thought, "I can do this!". I then walked into Gracie's room to find some clothes for her, and could have screamed. I guess when she was supposed to be sleeping last night, she emptied every single one of her drawers on to the floor...
There I stood looking at a mountain of wrinkled clothes... So now, on top of the 3 bins, 1 laundry basket and a closet of clothes that I already have to organize, I have 3 drawers worth of clothes to refold and put away.

I think this is the only  "negative" of having 2 girls.. The clothes!!! If I would have had a boy the second time, all of the girl clothes would have been out of my house, and I would only have to sort through boy stuff. Now though, I have:

Too big for Gracie
Too small for Gracie but way too big for Lylah
Too big for Lylah but will fit soon
Too small for Lylah and need to get rid of.

On top of it, they have so many friggin clothes that do fit them right now. There is always laundry to be put away, always laundry that needs done..... I think that I could honestly open a little girls clothing store at this point.
At this very moment, Lylah has 3 bins and 2 laundry baskets of clothes in her room. Most of which don't fit her right now. Her drawers are full and he closet is full. What am I supposed to do with that??!
Obviously I haven't been doing what I should be with it because I have clothes piled on their dressers, on the floor of their closet, in my laundry room, and even in my bedroom. I can never find what I want for them because it could be scattered in any of the above places.
Maybe I should just pitch it all and start fresh???!!! lol

What do you ladies do to keep some sort of organization of clothing?? I need some tips before I go completely insane. I already have nightmares about the clothing!!!



Have a great day, I'm going for dinner with the ladies tonight!! I'm so excited and I'm sure I'll have something good to talk about tomorrow!! For now though, I'm on my way to the laundry room. If I get some things done today, I won't feel so guilty about going tonight!!

Saturday, March 19, 2011

Fun Quiz for the Weekend

Here is the link to a silly but fun quiz ! Just something fun for the weekend, and to lighten the mood up a little!! Let me know your results,  I got Super Ma Ma!! Yippeee!!


http://www.testriffic.com/rtest/aurorasmom429/8781

Super Mom

Click Here For Images &
Super Mom Pictures - Pictures




Friday, March 18, 2011

In Honour

My post today definitely isn't something that I want to post. It is something that I feel like I need to share with all of you though.
I am doing this to honour an amazing woman and her family. I am doing this in hopes of getting just a few extra thoughts, prayers and kinds words for her and her family. What they have been through these past few months is truly horrible and unfair.
I think you'll all remember the blog that I shared with you a little while back of Mandy and her scare with her ultrasound results. Her blog has been updated. I don't know where she finds her strength, but her post, although hard to read, is amazing. She manages to find words for a situation that many could not.
Here is the link.
http://bitter-sweet-days.blogspot.com/2011/03/baby-angel-emma.html?spref=fb

RIP Baby Emma.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Drinking with Kids

So what is everyones "take" on drinking (alcohol) when the kids are in your care??
I've honestly never given it "real" deep thought until just recently.. (This vacation has stirred the pot on a lot of subjects!)

Peter and I aren't HUGE drinkers, but we're drinkers. We like our wine at dinner. We usually have it on Thursday night. Ummm,, and then right through until Sunday. lol
So maybe we are Big drinkers (don't judge!lol) 
We also have drinks most Saturday nights. We usually have company, which means the girls are here. They are typically in bed by 8pm, so I've never really given much thought about having a few (or a few too many) drinks, once they're tucked in safe and sound.
I found out just recently that many people won't drink at all if the kids are in their care.
Here I go, back to being a nominee in the category of BAD MOMMY of the year!

So really?? There are parents out there that won't drink if their kids are with them? Even if they're in bed?
I realize that at any point, anything could happen, but are we really supposed to stop living our lives and having fun because something "might" happen? If it really came down to it, which I can't see, there are cabs, there are ambulances, there is a thing called mother instinct that is going to sober you up pretty darn quick if need be.. right??
There is never a point that we're acting like 16 years olds and being stupid (when we have the girls,,lol) but we do have more than a couple glasses of wine.
The worst that has ever happened, is me having a really bad headache and making daddy get out of bed the next morning instead of me. .

And then there is this question,,,, what about a situation like I was just in.
You're in Cuba, the sun is shining, waves are rolling in, and the drinks are free and only 20 feet away at all times. Do you have some drinks, or do you say no because you have to "care" for your kids?
Anyone that knows me, knows that I went for the drinks. I drank throughout the day, never getting wild or silly, but definitely happier than I would have been without the drinks, a couple of days.
Did I ever feel that I couldn't care for my girls the same? Never! Would I ever put myself or my children in the position that I couldn't care for them? Never!

We came across a lot of different people on the vacation. Some felt the same way as us, and some had different opinions on this subject. I respect everyones opinion, and I would never judge, or expect to be judged. Unfortunately, I think that there was some judging going on.
I "over"heard this comment "How can someone care for their children when they're drinking?" at least twice during the vacation. I bit my tongue each time because it wasn't spoken directly to me, although I'm pretty sure it was being directed at Peter and I.
I was kind of shocked by that. If one or both of us was falling over, staggering drunk, I could understand.  However, when my children were laughing, smiling, being fed, and being played with, I think we were doing a pretty good job caring for our children while drinking our Havana Specials, THANK YOU!!

That being said, there were a couple of people that I saw on the vacation, that I didn't so much judge, but more wondered how the heck they did it.. How they managed to drink so much and still get up with the kids in the morning and get through a full day. They did it though, every day they did it, and I bet you they had more fun than any of us.

So what is everyones opinion on this.. Can we have some bevvies and still be good , responsible parents, or should we hold off on any fun until the kids are in the care of someone else??

I really am curious as to what the majority of you think, so please leave comments.
Also, as I was looking for some fun pictures for this post, I came across this similar blog. I guess this is a subject that is addressed frequently.. Check it out~http://blogs.babble.com/strollerderby/2010/03/26/is-drinking-around-your-kids-good-parenting/

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Pathetic

I'm going to attempt this quick post while my sick little monkey is sleeping. It won't be a long one, but I'll do my best.

I know that I've touched on this subject before, but it was never a really big issue (for me) until our recent trip.
You guys are probably all going to laugh at me (just like everyone else does) but that's okay. I need to vent.

I need to vent about what pregnancy does to our BOOBS!!! Like seriously!!!
One part of my body that I was always happy with and never had an issue with was "my girls". They weren't too big, they weren't too small, I think I was a 34C and they were just right (for me)..

Then I got pregnant!!! They turned into bowling balls. I honestly think that at the biggest, they were bigger than my head! I hated them. I couldn't put any shirt on without it instantly turning "sleazy" looking. Shirts that used to look really "cute", were now "sleazy"!!
They were uncomfortable too! I couldn't lay on my stomach, and I could never get the seatbelt to sit in the perfect place "between them".  (I don't know how you large breasted women do it!)
I really did hate them!
Almost immediately after I finished breast feeding Gracie, I got MY boobs back and I was happy. I then got pregnant with Lylah and boom, the "beasts" were back!
Again, I hated them, but I knew that they'd be gone as soon as I finished nursing. Which by the way, is part of the reason I quit at about 4 months. I just wanted my body back!!

What someone/anyone failed to tell me, was that after this one, not only would the "beasts" shrink,, but they would completely disappear. Like, how is that even possible?
I'm working on getting over it...unsuccesfully!
How is it possible to go from a 36DD to a 34A???!!!!
Most people wouldn't even consider what I have, Boobs. They're more like little bumps planted on my chest. It's pathetic, it really is.

I was a little insecure about them this past year, but it was never really more than a thought. I knew they were small, but big deal, right?
That was until I started bathing suit shopping.. It got even worse once I got to Cuba and put on these sexy little bikinis that could never possibly look sexy (in my opinion) when there is nothing "filling" them!
To make it even more depressing, I had to look at all of these young girls with killer bodies and perfect, perky boobs. All while I looked like a 12 year old little boy in a bikini! Awesome, just awesome!

I think the hardest part for me is that I've worked so hard to get "my body" back. I've lost all my baby weight plus some and I feel great in that sense. I've worked so hard to get it back, yet I've lost the one thing that for me has always given me the "sexy" feeling.
The only way that I'm going to get them back, is to gain 20 pounds back (which ain't happening!), or get a boob job.
When I got into bed last night, I told Peter that I want a boob job. lol (I was being 100% serious! Don't judge!)
He laughed at me! (I didn't think it was really that funny)
I don't want "the beasts" back, just "my girls"..
He showed his support by saying "a push up bra is cheaper". I don't think he realizes that push up bras aren't "miracle" bras. They cant push up what isn't there!!!

I guess I'm stuck with these little things, but I'm going to complain about them every day until i die!! (or until he gets me a boob job!!)


Can anyone relate to me on this, or am I alone? Pregnancy does some crazy things to our bodies,,, what would you change back to the way it was??


Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Sick Girl

Hi Everyone! I type this holding my crying 1 year old with a temperature of 103.. Unfortunately, she is crying unless she's in my arms and I just can't find the time to sit and type today.. I will try my best again when she goes to bed tonight but I have a feeling that I will be collapsing at about the same time.
Again, I'm sorry but I'm sure you can all understand that she is my number one priority!!!

Monday, March 14, 2011

I'm back!!

I'm finally back!!!
I hope that everyone had a great week and that you enjoyed some of the other blogs that I posted.
You'll have to forgive me if this isn't a great or long post, but I am so mentally and physically exhausted that I just don't have it in me. That and the fact that I have 4 children in my house, and a 1 year old with a temperature of 103. Hopefully you can understand!

Our trip was amazing! It was a lot smoother than I ever could have imagined and the girls absolutely loved it.
We did have 4 sets of extra hands, but even on our own, I think that we would have made out just fine. I definitely recommend it to everyone! We now have so many great memories. Lylah probably won't remember but I think it is something that Gracie will remember forever.

My biggest pet peeve while on the trip was something that also drives me nuts here at home. Rude and ignorant people!! I have never seen so much of it in all my life.
It started in Toronto before even getting to the airport. We used Park N Fly. When we arrived at the lot, it was absolutely freezing. It was nice when we left home so I didn't have the girls in the most appropriate outfits. In my defense, I never dreamed we would be stuck standing in the cold for any long period of time.
When we got to the lot, we jumped out, grabbed our bags and headed for the little bus shelter to wait for the shuttle.. There were a few others waiting, but not many. While we were waiting,, and freezing,, more people arrived and had to wait outside the shelter.... We waited, and waited. Finally we saw the white and green bus.. Thank God!!
Well.............. If all of those people (who arrived after us) didn't jump on that friggin bus and leave us (with two small freezing cold toddlers) standing in the cold. None of them looked back, no remorse what so ever!! I was dumbfounded by this.
So,, there we wait, again.. Again, more people arrived while we were waiting. This time, no one was getting past Peter alive. lol.
When the bus finally got there Peter jumped on with all of our luggage and we tried to get right behind him. Again though, People just started shoving there way through. My poor sister in law was holding Lylah and couldn't get through any of them to get her to the warmth. She finally had to speak up and say "Could you let me through with the baby??!"

All of this put me off a bit, but I tried to just let it go. So we encountered some ignorant people, big deal! That was until we got to the resort in Cuba.
People were so rude, I still can't wrap my head around it.. People shoving by me because my 3 year old was walking a little too slow, or pushing by to get through a doorway before we went through with the stroller. People running ahead to get into a washroom before I got there with Gracie.. the list could go on and on and on.
These incidents were people of all ages, young old, other parents.. I could understand if it was a bunch of young kids that don't have children, and don't know better, but other parents??? Come ON!!!

I tried to just deal with it the best I could. I shot people a couple of dirty looks a few times, but for the most part, I kept my cool.
I think that this last example will give you all a bit better idea of just how bad it was though..
Our flight out of Cuba was a late one.. The bus didn't pick us up at the resort until 6:30 pm and we were supposed to fly out at 10:25. It only took about 10 minutes to get to the airport from the resort, and the flight was delayed, so that left us over 3 hours sitting at the airport with two very tired children... (and very tired mommy and daddy too!) The airport was packed!!! There weren't nearly enough seats for everyone and some of us were left standing. For the first little while, that was okay, but after about an hour, Gracie was exhausted. Thankfully, Lylah was in her stroller..
I walked around trying to find a seat, even just one, that I could sit in with Gracie so that she could fall asleep. There were none available. Now by saying that there were none available, I mean that there wasn't a seat with nothing or no one in it.. Some seats were taken by stretched out children sleeping across 3 seats. Some were taken by peoples luggage or books. Unbelievable! Who does that? Especially when they see an airport full of people standing.
I finally gave up, and sat down on the cold floor with Gracie. At least I didn't have to stand holding a 30lb very groggy child.
Within minutes she was sound asleep. People stepped over us to get to their seats, people looked at us and smiled (really, what were they smiling at? Did they think I looked happy? That is all people did though, look at us and step over us.
Not one single person offered us their seat, moved their bag or moved their child so that my 3 year old wasn't asleep on  a cold dirty airport floor!!
I have not been that angry in a very long time.

I definitely lost faith in my "fellow Canadians" this past week. I didn't see anyone prove what kind, friendly warm people we are supposed to be. This saddens me! It saddens me that my children witnessed this kind of behavior and will grow up thinking it's okay. Actually, they won't because I will teach them the manners, courtesy and respect that I was taught. It still saddens me though, that they will even witness it and that they have already been treated this way.

 Would it really be that hard to hold a door for a stroller or to let a child use a washroom first?? To let a child sleep half comfortably on a chair?

Things are no different here in Canada, I've seen it in restaurants or at the mall and other public places. When did our society get like this? What made us this way, because in my eyes,, it's not okay!!
Have a great day ladies,, I'll be back tomorrow!

Thursday, March 10, 2011

A letter to my kids..

Hi ladies! Today is my anniversary! 4 years married! We'll be spending the day on the beach, and then boarding the plane later tonight to come home.
I hope you all have a great day and I'll probably be back to my regular posts on Saturday..

I found this blog through Facebook, and loved this post! Enjoy and check out her link....

http://alisongolden.com/


Post image for 3 Things I Never Told You: A Letter To My Kids

1.     I started making decisions about your lives’ years before your birth.

Boyfriends I dumped because they weren’t good father material (even if they were fun,) men I never even went out with because it was clear from the start it wouldn’t work, jobs I took to ensure I could stay home later, books I read and activities I undertook to understand myself and what I wanted from life.
All these decisions had a massive, direct impact on your coming to existence and what your lives’ are like today.
Mothers just do these things.

2.     I wasn’t sure I wanted children…until I wanted children.

I wasn’t sure I wanted to pass on my struggles, my neuroses, my genes. I wasn’t sure I wanted to be tied down, committed, my options limited.
And then one day, I realized that was exactly what I wanted because there’s freedom in commitment, a freedom to explore intimately within the confines, that intimacy enabled by the very state of the confinement.
And I came to realize my struggles weren’t so bad, pretty normal in fact, and I overcame them.
And the overcoming was a gift. To pass on. To you.

3. I wasn’t sure I’d like being a parent.

Before I had you, the most I’d stuck with anything was about 18 months. Then I’d hove to and change – a job, a relationship, my location.
I wondered if the same would be true of parenting. Would I be screaming for release before two years was up?
Yet here I am eleven years later, still plugging away, still reminding you to clean your rooms, your teeth, your bottoms.
So what gives?
Well, I couldn’t give you back. I had no choice.
Oh, there were times when I wanted to, there were times when I did scream for release but they were just moments, seconds. Occasionally a few minutes on a very bad day.
And then it was over, and everyone calm again.
And you’d change. Develop. There were new challenges, new problems to solve, new achievements to celebrate.
I like being a parent.
At my core. It is who I am. It’s not a choice, it just is.
My love for you is unwavering.
And it’s great. And solid.
Some things will not change. Not ever.
That is one of them.






Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Am I a bad mama because..........???

Can you believe my week is almost over?? Hopefully you guys have been enjoying these posts while I've been gone. I'm sure I'll have lots to chat about when I get back to make up for a week!!
This is another great post that I came across on Facebook!!  When clicking this link, be sure to check out some of the author's other posts! She is great, I think her and I would be friends!! LOL!

http://lotusblunotes.blogspot.com/2010/11/am-i-bad-mama-because.html



Am I a Bad Mama Because?!?!…

I try hard, I really do. Some days more than others, but hey, at least I’m out there on the field playing the game. That’s got to count for something, right? I know I’ve bitched about a similar topic before, but I really wish some empathic soul would’ve given me a book entitled “The Drama of Being a Mama” or “How To Get Out Alive with Your Sanity Intact”. That would’ve been helpful. Just sayn’.

So for now, I wing it. I make up my own rules and do what I think is right. And most nights, if I don’t crash from exhaustion, I stare at the ceiling fan hanging from my cathedral ceiling in the bedroom, admire the intricate cobwebs I can’t reach, and wonder if my mommy skills are perfectly normal or completely out of whack.

Hummm. I wonder if I’m a Bad Mama because I sometimes…......

*allow Dude to scream “mama!” a dozen times before I rise from my warm bed to save him from the crib.....OF DOOM!

*thinks naptime is a gift from the heavens above.

*stands by the coffee maker, watching it drip, body shaking in anticipation. Much like a crack whore.

*thinks it’s perfectly normal to drop off Little Woman at school wearing monkey-printed pajama pants, fuzzy slippers and a ratty t-shirt.

*tends to consume most of the wine in the house.

*when driving, tends to unconsciously entertain the children while singing a brokeback version of the top 10 pop hits on the radio. They beg me to stop once the ear bleeding begins.

*totally believes in primal scream therapy. When all else fails, let the kid cry his/her heart out until a sense of achievement occurs.

*thinks goldfish crackers are a food group.

*pees with the door open. What’s the point of closing it when, within seconds of me de-panting, I will be surrounded by an audience anyway?

*may go a few days without shaving. Who’s got time for that crap?

*high-fives Little Woman when she recites all the lyrics to “My Humps” by the Black Eyed Peas in perfect tone and pitch.

*has no issue challenging a teacher/doctor/douchebag when they talk out their ass in regards to my kids.

*sometimes, when I need a half-hour of peace, Elmo’s World becomes my babysitter.

*thinks it’s perfectly normal when Little Woman inquires about the status of Kourtney Kardashian and Scott Disick’s relationship.

*thinks after 7 PM, Mama’s quiet time consists of a glass of wine and a Cosmo mag.

*just can’t grasp the concept of cleaning toilets on a daily basis.


*repeats the phrase “really?! You’re killing me” multiple times a day.

*swears some days, if I see one more dirty dish/item of clothing/dirty diaper being thrown into the appropriate sink/hamper/pail for the millionth time, I *will* pull a Charlie Sheen on everyone’s ass!

The list could go on and on. And on. Not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing.

So is there anyone else out there that would like to share their personal mama quarks with me? Or am I the only freaky fish in the sea?










Tuesday, March 8, 2011

A lot nicer!!

Good morning ladies! Do you miss me yet?
I came across this post when researching the authors of a couple of the books that I've been reading. I read it, and was surprised at how it struck home with me so much! I've tried to change since reading it. These girls are great. Check out their site after reading this great post!

http://www.reallygoodmom.com/





My Real Friends Are A LOT Nicer Than You

by TRISHA-AND-AMY on MARCH 31, 2009
One of our friends was driving with her husband and they were talking about how they hadn’t had sex in awhile and they were living more like roommates than husband and wife. They were sitting in the car being short with each other and she said ‘we’re kind of like just friends right now. And my real ‘friends’ are a LOT nicer than you are.’ They laughed about it —an ‘oh my God!’ kind of thing. But it was an eye-opening comment that begs the question—why are we not as courteous to our own husbands as we are with our friends? Your husband walks in the door and you WANT to say hi as the kids go running up to him, but instead you fume at the counter waiting for him to ask YOU how your day was. What is THAT? Why do we have resentment towards him before the poor guy even makes eye contact As we’re sitting here in our office talking about this topic, we realize that we each do this, too. How many times have we rolled our eyes or not given our husbands the common courtesy and respect we give to our girlfriends? If a friend walked in the door at 6 p.m. at night, we’d give them a big hug and hello, yet we turn our back to our husbands.
No matter where the feeling comes from, we do have the power to shift it. We can go with the mood that is growing—we can choose to ignore each other and wait until the other person gives us the response we want or ‘make a move’—or we can create the mood WE want. Right?







Monday, March 7, 2011

Battle for the Head of the Table!

It's Monday!!! Only 3 days left for me on the Beach :(
I thought that i would share this post that was lent to me by my friend Vicki. She shared this with me when I was really struggling ( i still am) with Gracie and her eating! She was also kind enough to let me post it while I am gone! Thanks Vicki!
Please check out Vicki's great blog at http://victoria-thefirstday.blogspot.com/




The Battle for the head of the table...
 
I am sure we have all been there, the temper tantrums over food, the demands for things they say they will eat, then refuse to after you have exhausted yourself?  The threats to NOT EAT! GASP! Yep, been there, done that, do that EVERYDAY!  I am always amazed at how much power kids try to exert over food, and how often we give in!    My youngest refuses meat, of all kinds!  Through experiment (long hours trying many foods!) I have discovered that he will eat, tofu, shrimp, white fish and chicken drumsticks (sometimes!).  Dinner is always a battle with him, very tiring battle!  If there is one thing I have learned in the 7 years of being a Mom to some very stubborn and picky boys, it would be DON"T CAVE! The moment they smell you giving in they JUMP on you and WHAMO! You are making yet ANOTHER box of KD!  Ya know what worked for me, NOT the they will eat eventually, NOT the belief that it is just a phase, NOT the giving in to their desires.  What has worked is something SO simple it may shock you!  Silence! Yep SILENCE!! I have done this with LOTS of kids and although all you really want to do is argue you CAN'T!  TRUST ME!!
 The food is placed in front of the whining, crying person, I DO NOT TALK TO THEM ABOUT IT, they have 25 mins to eat, at the end of the 25 mins the food is then removed ( or if the whiner decides to throw the food at me, which happens, more often than not, the food is removed from the child, without speaking the child is guided by the arm to their room, still no words, and left on their bed.)  This usually takes a couple of times then the next thing you know they are eating!  Yep EATING!!   It is super hard not to converse with the little whiners, but, trust me it works!  You have won the argument before it even starts.  I have read that 90% of the reason why children children refuse to eat is only to exert there Independence.  From our early beginnings we want independence, and food seems to be one of those things we use to show it.  
 
My Mom always said "You can eat or go Hungry the choice is yours!"




Friday, March 4, 2011

Funky Housewife Syndrome










                                                                                                                                                                                                This is hilarious! If this isn't us, we know someone who fits into this category! I thought that this would be fun for the weekend! Happy Friday and there will be a new Blog and link on Monday!!






Do You Have 'Funky Housewife Syndrome?' Take Our Quiz To Find Out!

    IStock_happy-housewife
Photo:  istock
Sure, this housewife is smiling now, but she's in recovery!

I'll be the first to admit, becoming a funky housewife never seemed to be in my remote future, not inevitable in the least--that was until I became a mother.
So, what exactly is a funky housewife pretell? She's the hardworking wife and mother who is either a SAHM (stay-at-home-mom) or a WFHM (work from home mom), or what I like to call both--work from moms.  Because for those diligent SAMH's who are not catching up on their DVR soaps while their kids raise themselves in front of Nick Jr., but rather actively taking care of your children--hell, you are working!
But, with all the care-taking of these amazingly, demanding little people we call children, it's  quite  natural to forget to take care of yourself in the process. I'm talking beyond the horrid mom jeans which (shall never see my wardrobe, I only worship the skinny jeans on my best day)--but the actual necessities of taking care of one's self. 
To be blunt, funky housewife syndrome can include the obliviousness to any sort of self-maintenance. The offenses include forgoing make-up, or hair style application, paired with the uniform of ratted sweats, sealed with the hints of baby-spit-up, topped off with run-down sneakers, and perhaps for the funkiest--the failure to combine soap, water and a good lather for the day--or as the childless call it, a good ole' shower!
Sure, laugh now, I used to. But,  now I readily admit I need help. Somehow, after being a mom to my spit-fire, and rambunctious 8-month-old daughter who is already determined to walk; I went from stilletos and high wedges to run down Ree-box sneakers.  I recently made the transition from working outside the home in corporate America, trading in my daily uniform of trendy and fashion forward ensembles, to now as a work-from-home mom, donning my new daily attire of sweat shirts, jeans, and my yes, ratty Ree-box sneakers. I can't help but think, what the hell happened?
The fours years prior to when my husband and I were married and childless, it was almost effortless to keep myself easy on my husband's eyes. Tight paints, short skirts was all I needed to throw on to keep his attention. But, factor in a recovering post-baby body, paired with sleep deprivation, and the comfort of working from home--well it's a picture far less prettier than my blog image!
But, how do you know if you're suffering from funky housewife syndrome, and not just a mom-rut? Take my quiz to find out and then read on for some helpful tips on how to regain your groove back, mama! Relax, there is hope and recovery for you!

Mama's Groove Funky Housewife Quiz
  1. After a whirlwind day of Gymboree and Mommy-And-Me Classes with your two little ones, you're wiped. But, with your husband due home soon, you remembered you promised him a special evening after putting the kids to bed. In a rush to prepare you:
    A) Jump in the shower, shave your legs and throw on those stripper heels he likes in 20 minutes flat.  
      B) Manage to put the kids to bed, but with little time to  freshen up you, throw on that scent that drives him wild and that lingerie set which you call old faithful.
      C) Give the kids a bath, but are too wiped to do much to yourself, other than throw on one of your hubby's t-shirts, hoping that will satisfy him until he complains.    
  1. 2. It's your man's birthday and you promised him a great night at his favorite restaurant. With a busy day with the kids, you failed to pick up that new dress you know he would love.  So instead you:
A) Get creative and hunt for that mini-skirt you know he loves, with the blouse you love that hides a slight muffin top. It's a win-win.
B) Panic, shortly before throwing on those jeans that drive him wild with  cute ballet flats that ease your aching dogs after running after your kids all day. You feel golden.
C) Feel like giving up since you didn't have time to grab that dress. So you  pull on your old standby of the wrap dress he's seen you in a zillion times. Never mind the need to spot clean baby spit-up from it.
  1. 3.  It's date night and you're giddy because you can't even remember the last time you and your partner escaped for even a movie that wasn't a Disney  one. But, as luck would have it, you're not feeling too hot. But, you'll be  damned if any little cold ruins your evening. So you:
 A) Dab some extra concealer under that red nose and throw sinus  spray in your bag. Nothing is ruining your night!         
 B) Go to town on masking those  dark circles, but go lax on your hair.  Who said the pontytail is out?                         
C) Comfort sports fashion. A poncho sweater and    sunglasses suit you. It's not like he hasn't seen you sick before.
  1. Uh, oh he has surprise for you and won't tell you where you're going...other than "you look fine."         
A) After cursing him out under your breath, with no hint as to where you're  going, you decide on your little black "freakum"  dress. It never fails for any occasion.
B) Deciding not to stress, you expertly grab your wrap dress and peep toe heels--perfect combo of understated chic.
C) Ready to cry a river. You figure dress pants, and a crisp white  button down, should suffice. No one should notice it's your go-to  interview outfit right?

          
Mostly As') Congratulations for keeping it hot mama! You have seemed to master the balance between wiping tushes and rocking a good stilleto with red lipstick when the big guns are needed.Your husband or partner has no complaints within the keeping-it-hot department (Show off)!
Mostly Bs') Sweats vs. Skinny Jeans:  Cue the cameras, you should have your own reality show, as you seem to toe the line well between a rough day, and a better night. You realize it's important to invest the little time and energy it takes to make yourself feel better, and your partner longing. You are a master at switching your style between mom, wife, and just plain woman.  Congrats! You're the envy of all the funky housewives on your block, as they run to the mirror!
Mostly Cs') Headed to Funky Town:  Say it ain't so. Girlfriend, between the baby spit-up and your toddler's breakfast cheerios stuck in your hair, your image is a cry for help.  But, it's okay, you're obviously a super mom who has just temporarily lost your way. 

Regardless of what you scored, if you're a hard-working mom, we could all admittedly use some help. But, putting forth a little extra effort into your appearance does not have to seem like another chore. Think small and what makes you feel good. If yoga pants are your thing, pair them with a great fitting t-shirt that frames your shape just right.
Or if you're a jewelry maven, add some big sparkly hoops to your look before running out the door. And if you're all for comfort and love your sneakers, make them a fabulous pair, scuff free pair! Whatever you do, don't give up on finding that right balance between feeling better about yourself. Because before you were a mother, you were simply a woman who maintained her groove!





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