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Friday, April 29, 2011

Bedtime with Daddy!!

I'm doing this as a sort of "public service" announcement!!!!

Mothers! Do yourselves a favour and make sure that daddy takes his turn putting your baby(ies) to bed every night!!!
Not exactly what bedtime with daddy looks like.
Peter and I always used to take the girls up to bed together. Lately though, Daddy has gotten a little lazy when it comes to the night time ritual and mommy has been doing the tucking in...

Well!!! The past few nights, I've been unable to put the girls to bed.. Shouldn't be a big deal, right?
I laid out the pjs, diapers, wipes, milk etc.. and went on my way.
I made everything as easy for Peter as I possibly could..

Gracie and Lylah had other plans for daddy!!

You have NEVER heard two little girls scream as loud and as long as when Peter tried to put them to bed.. They would have no part in it.
They cried, and they screamed. They were mad, and they wanted "Mommy!"
I was in the basement and could hear the screaming, yet there was nothing that I could do to help. My heart broke, yet at the same time, it was probably a really good experience for everyone involved.

By the time I finally made my way upstairs, all 3 of them were a wreck.. The girls had alligator tears and puffy red eyes. Daddy just had a really red face and ears.
The girls were so beside themselves that I couldn't even manage to get them calmed down enough to go to sleep... Gracie took a few minutes and some bribery, but Lylah took some rocking and some singing, some more rocking and some milk.. I think it was after 10pm by the time I finally got them both settled.
The poor things they were a mess, just because they knew mommy was in the house and not putting them to bed.. Daddy (who they usually like better than me) just wasn't good enough and they made that very clear!
What bedtime did look like!!

Poor Daddy!! I would have loved to have his blood pressure checked at that time,, I think it was probably dangerously high!! It was probably good for him to see, and he's definitely learned something from it. I did however feel bad for him because he seemed pretty upset. I didn't think that was probably the right time to say "what do you expect?".. but really??!!

So, That is my mother to mother advice for the week!! Let daddy have his turns doing bedtime,, for everyone's sake!!!

Thursday, April 28, 2011


Just wanted to let you all know that I finally got an appointment date for Lylah..
We'll be heading down to McMaster Childrens's Hospital on June 10th at 10am!!
I'm both excited and scared to finally have an appointment, but we'll get through it!!!
Thanks to everyone for their concern and thoughts....xo

One Meal!!!

8 Times is how many times I stood up from the dinner table last night to either pick something up, wipe something up or get something someone wanted.
Mommy continuously got up while everyone else in my family enjoyed their meals!!! Grrrr...

Last night, I think that Peter had one whole plate of food gone before I even had to have a chance to sit down at the table.
I swear that Gracie watches, waits, and as soon as she sees me getting ready to sit down, she demands that she NEEDS something. It might be a spoon instead of a fork, or it might be ketchup, a juice or some milk,, and then I get them milk and she decides she wants chocolate milk... It's never ending...

The only thing I ask for is one meal a day that I can sit and enjoy. Is that too much to ask??!! I know I'll never get it,, not for a few years anyway, so in the meantime, I'm going to bitch about it.

I have 2 shakes a day as my meals for breakfast and lunch. Even they are impossible to sit and enjoy because both girls love the shakes so much that they're at my feet the whole time begging for some. Lately, my breakfast shake has been at around 11am and my lunch shake at 3pm.. I'm so busy running around with the little munchkins that I either forget or just can't find the 2 minutes it takes to make the damn shake..
I know, I'm feeling sorry for myself!!

Once dinner comes, I'm so excited to sit down and have a good meal. The only problem is, I'm never sitting.!!
Who's family dinner really looks like this??!
I often ask myself why the girls never think to say "DADDY I WANT" instead of "MOMMY I WANT".
I also wonder why daddy never steps up and says "I'll get it, you sit and enjoy your dinner!" Especially when he's been done his meal for 10 minutes and I'm just starting mine!!! (okay, Peter has done that A COUPLE of times,, but not enough!)

One meal, that's all I want! One meal to sit quietly with my whole family. No interruptions, no big meltdowns, no major spills or messes and no getting up 100 times to get stuff.. ONE MEAL!!!

I could go on an on about this subject, but I have one child in school and one napping so I am going to go enjoy my shake (note it's 11am!!!) and a coffee in PEACE!! Have a nice day ladies!

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Food Problems,,,, again!!

I just have a really quick post today because I'm super busy. My post is a question for everyone.

Does anyone know anything about food sensitivity testing or food allergy testing?? Does anyone have any personal experience with it??

Lylah has problems with some foods, and we seem to have narrowed them down. Recently though, she has started eliminating foods on her own.. Certain foods that she used to love, she now refuses. I'm starting to wonder if it's because she knows they make her feel yucky?
She used to LOVE cheese, now as soon as she sees it, she holds her hand out signalling "NO WAY!" She won't eat any sort of cheese. Cheese Whiz, cheese strings, grilled cheese, cheese slices..
She also now refuses to eat any sort of deli meat, hot dogs, bologna.. It's so strange..
I have basically figured out that unless it is fruits, veggies, bread or pasta, she won't touch it.. Well, unless it's chocolate, cookies or crackers! Even then she's pretty fussy..
So,, I'm wondering if I should have her tested for allergies or sensitivities. What does everyone think? I have to figure something out because it's getting very hard to feed her..
Opinions, and comments are needed please!!!!

*** I was in a rush writing this! I should have added that Lylah is very irritable after a lot of her meals, she very often has spots of eczema and she is either constipated or has diarrhea the majority of the time. I would like to think that she is just getting picky, but unfortunately, I don't think so*****

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Don't Shoot the Easter Bunny!

Those of you that know me, know that I'm a HUGE scrooge!! I hate Christmas and as much as I try every year, I just can't get into the spirit..
Everyone tells me to "find" the spirit for the kids, but I've yet to find it.

As Easter approached this year, I felt the scrooge in me resurfacing. It's horrible, I know it's horrible, but there is nothing that I can do to stop it.
I've tried to dig deep, to find the reason that I hate it so much. It's definitely not childhood related, because we always had great holidays and we were more than spoiled. The only thing that I can blame it on, is money!
With two kids and a single income, there isn't a whole lot of extra money floating around to be buying great gifts for everyone. I LOVE giving, but the fun is lost when you're adding the dollars in your head as you reach for something. It kind of takes the fun out of it. The "giving" becomes more of a stress than anything and thats not how it should be.

Anyway, as Easter approached this year, I realized that one of the reasons that I like Easter is because there is no pressure to buy gifts. We still get the yummy food and the family time but we don't end up with all of the debt afterwards.
I love Easter but the one thing I really struggled with this year was the "Easter Bunny". Is it just me or is it a LOT of work to keep up this whole "belief"? I don't know how many times I ALMOST screwed it all up.
At one point I remember sitting on my bed, and thinking to myself "I wonder how screwed up my kids would be if I told them the truth from the beginning? Like, do they really need to be part of this "lie".. What would the harm be in just celebrating holidays and telling them that the gifts are from Mommy and Daddy?" Teeheee.... horrible eh??! The sad part is, I actually had this argument with myself for days, it wasn't just a MOMENT!
While I was making the little jelly bean trail throughout the house, I was really leaning towards scrapping the idea of the Easter bunny and Santa,,, and we should throw the tooth fairy in there too. (Judge me if you want,, I'm just being honest! You'll like me again in a second)

The argument with myself ended the second that I woke up to the sound of Gracie's little voice. "Mommy! Mommy!" and then I opened my eyes.. I saw the most precious thing that I have ever seen in my life and I know for sure that I will NEVER forget the awe and excitement in my little girls eyes.. (I have tears as I type this)
With two hands cupped together and full of jelly beans she said "MOMMY!! THE EASTER BUNNY CAME TO MY HOUSE AND LEFT ME EASTER EGGS, A WHOLE BUNCH OF EASTER EGGS!!! I GUESS I WAS A GOOD GIRL AFTER ALL!".....
At that very moment, I knew that every little effort I put into "lying" and preparing for Easter, was 150% worth it. Never have I seen anything so special, and now I can't wait until Christmas to come so that I can relive the moment that I lived on Sunday morning.
Lylah didn't understand a whole lot, but what she did understand was that every step she took, she found a new jelly bean that could be shoveled into her mouth. That I must say was pretty cute to watch as well. Especially because Gracie thought they should ALL be picked up before trying them.. Lylah was more "quality control", she thought each one should be tried right

So,, that's it,, no major point to this blog. I just wanted to share my "revelation". I think what I was missing until now, was the fun and excitement that kids bring to these holidays. Until now, they were too young to fully get it.. Now that they do, it's a whole new ball game, and I LOVE it!!!
I hope that you all had a great Easter, and got to make some special memories just like we did!!

Monday, April 25, 2011

Have a Heart!

Okay, so I was going to do my next post on what a donkey my husband was last week. Unfortunately (for you guys) he was so awesome on the weekend that I just don't have the heart to get on here and bash him today.

Instead, I'm going to post on a subject that a friend of mine asked me to cover. This topic is near and dear to her and she wanted to see what other mothers feel on the situation. This won't be a long post because I'm hoping to basically just open up a discussion on the subject.

The topic??
What are your thoughts, what are your feelings? Have you ever even thought about it?
Obviously it's not something that we want to think about it, but let's face it, it's reality, and any of us could be put in the situation that we are forced to make a very tough decision..

I can honestly say that I had never given it much thought until I heard that my friend had a family member going through problems and needed a liver.
I think my initial thoughts were "NO WAY"!! No way would I sign a card, paper, or anything allowing someone to take my babies organs out of them,,, NO WAY!!! Selfish? Maybe! I think mostly though, that is my fear taking over. The fear of not wanting to ever think about something so horrible.

Not too long ago, General Hospital (the soap opera) covered this subject. One of the little boys on the show was hit by a car and was brain dead. At the same time (I know,,it's a soap opera) another couple found out that their little girl had cancer and needed two new kidneys.. Long story short, the mother of the little boy wanted nothing to do with discussing donating her little guys organs, but they convinced her that she would be saving another child's life and saving other parents from going through the horrible grief that they were going through at the time.. She finally agreed to donate the kidneys.
I think that it was at this point that the whole organ donation thing started to make sense to me.

I think the hard part is imagining having to give your child's organs to someone else. The easy part though, is imagining the joy you'd feel if it was your child that was accepting the organs... receiving the gift of life...

I haven't gone to the extremes of filling out donor cards or anything, but I know what I would do if I was ever faced with such an awful decision to make.... I think......

I know that this is a very sensitive issue to discuss, but both my friend and myself are hoping to get an idea of what all of you mommies think about the subject!!
Let the discussion begin!!

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Pee Bags and Blood work

As I mentioned yesterday, I finally heard back from Hamilton (on Monday) regarding Lylah. Unfortunately I still don't have an appointment date, but at least we have a "foot in the door".
The receptionist was great. She said that the doctor would like blood work done prior to the appointment and  that she would just fax the requisition to the lab of my choice..
Yikes! How do I pick which lab I want to take her? If it was for me, that would be one thing.. I really don't care who is jabbing the needle into me. For my baby though, I want the best!
I quickly gave her the name of the lab that I usually use, and that was that. I just had to cross my fingers that they were as good with babies as they always have been with me..

We dropped Gracie off at school on Tuesday morning and went straight to the lab... My heart was beating a thousand beats a minute and I felt sick to my stomach, but I knew that I had to be tough for Lylah.
I felt so mean because she had no clue what she was in for as we walked through those doors.
Luckily (amazingly) there was no one else in the lab. We got the attention of all of the technicians..
It's funny you know, when we walked in, I could see the look on their faces change, and I knew they were thinking "OH NO A BABY!" To be honest, I was thinking the same thing.
They took us right back and just had me hold her on my lap..
I was surprised that they did everything pretty much the same as they do to us.. Elastic band, and arm up on the pad. They started tapping her little arm, which I am assuming was to bring the best vein to the surface.
After a few minutes, they found THE ONE!!
I couldn't watch. I rested my face on the top of her little head as I stroked her face and told her she was a big girl. I felt her jump a little and thought to myself, "here we go". But that was it.. She didn't make another sound. There were 3 technicians standing there prepared to do what it took to keep her calm and they all just looked at each other in awe.
This was a piece of cake!! Until I heard the technician (who was drawing the blood) let out a big sigh and ask "is it coming?" And then another sigh, and another,, and then I hear "it collapsed, we'll have to try the other arm."
I wanted to scream! Are you kidding me?? They couldn't have made sure that they did it properly in the first place? I understand things happen, but COME ON, she 1!!!!!
So, we start the whole process over! Again, my little princess didn't make a sound. She sat there like a little angel and didn't say boo! At one point she looked up at them all with this look on her face like "what the hell are you doing to me?".. they all laughed.

So, my princess was the strong one, which is a good thing, because I was a mess! If she would have cried and screamed, I think it would have put me RIGHT over the edge..
Watching vial after vial of my little girls blood being taken away almost killed me. It just isn't right for someone so young to have to go through that. I must have gone really pale because the nurse looked at me and said "Mommy are you going to be okay?". I was fine, but it was touch and go there for a minute... lol

This little thing is not my best friend right now!!
The technician also told me that they needed a urine sample. They said that I could just get it at home and bring it back when I managed to get it. Managed being the key word!
Does anyone have any idea how hard it is to get a urine sample from a 1 year old?? They gave me these little collection bags, that I basically have to stick to her and pray that the pee goes in the bag..
Meanwhile, I also have to pray that the bag doesn't fall off or that she doesn't pull it off,, or that if the pee goes in, the pee stays in when I try to take it off!! Yep, it's been a lot of fun. I've now gone through 5 little bags, and still have no sample!!
I'm open to tips and suggestions, because if I don't get a sample, I'm not going to get an appointment date. Either that or they will have to use a catheter to get the sample.. Please someone help!!!!

I guess all of this progress is a good thing. We're one step closer to getting our appointment date and meeting a doctor. At the same time though, I can't help but hate that we're one step closer because it feels like we're one step closer to finding out that there is something wrong with our baby, That is something i don't think that I'm ready for. Yes I want answers, and yes I want her to get help,, but I just don't think I'm strong enough to deal with hearing the answers that they might give us.

So, thats my day with Lylah. Please keep in mind that this all happened on the same day as my Mirena insertion.. You can imagine how I felt by the end of it!
Tomorrows post will be how this day ended!!!

Anyone with any tips or suggestions as to how to use those flippin' pee bags,, please HELP!!
Thanks in advance!!!

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Mirena Experience

Before I explain my day yesterday, I wanted to let you all know that I finally got a call from Hamilton. They requested that Lylah have blood work done prior to her visit. She won't be seeing a cardiologist like I thought, she will actually be seeing a Rheumatologist/immunologist.. I've already researched the doctor, and he sounds very impressive. He founded what is now known as the McMaster Children's hospital and he also "spearheaded" the development of the Hamilton Ronald McDonald House.
I took Lylah for her blood work yesterday. The experience wasn't too bad, we had one collapsed vein, one crying mommy and a perfectly content baby. Lylah didn't shed a tear, she just sort of looked at the people like "what the hell are you doing to me?" Tomorrow's post will be more on this experience and also that of trying to get a urine sample from a 16 month old.

Now, on to the Mirena experience.. I've been debating how to fill you all in on this, so I thought I'd basically do a timeline starting Monday night around 7pm.. Sorry about the TMI,, but for those of you considering getting the Mirena, I want to help... Those who don't like Too Much Info,, stop reading here..

7pm ~ Crotch medicine x2... Within 20 minutes of "inserting" these two little pills, some very minor spotting started. Maybe a little cramping but nothing major at all..

11pm~ Took two more of those little pills but orally this time and went right to bed.. I woke up a few hours later with some more intense cramping and a lot more spotting. I needed a panty liner but nothing more. I took two Tylenol and slept the rest of the night.

7am~ Woke up feeling surprisingly good. The pharmacist and "Google", had me pretty scared.. I was thinking that I was going to be doubled over with cramps, but I basically felt like my period was on its way..
As the day went on, they got a little stronger, but again, nothing that slowed me down..

What these 4 pills did, was help to soften my cervix and dilate it just a little. Unfortunately, because I had two C sections, and never gave birth vaginally, the process is a little more difficult because my cervix was still "sealed"...

12:30pm~ Took 2 extra strength Tylenol to help with the pain of the procedure

1:15pm~ Plopped myself on the lovely table, put my feet in the stirrups, said a quick prayer and held my breath!
My doctor was great, he didn't waste any time. He walked in and said "let's get this over with".. Within 2 minutes, he had completed my pap and cultures. I literally didn't even know he did it until he said that part was done.  Just as I let myself relax a little,, he got me.. I felt a little jab and then he told me to give a "big cough". That is when I felt a pretty sharp pain.. Apparently it was the "probe"?? I didn't ask! Two seconds later, I felt what I'm going to say was probably one of the worst pains I've ever felt, it was like a sharp yet dull achy pain... I say that because there are no real words to describe it... I held my breath and waited for it to end. Literally it was probably less than 30 seconds, but it felt like minutes..
Once the pain was gone, it was gone.
The doc clapped his hands, stood up and said we were done. I was shocked. As bad as it was, it was very very quick and easy. But it was hell for those couple of minutes!!
He gave me a pad for spotting, and I was on my way. I will go back in 8 weeks to make sure everything is where it should be.
Leaving the office, I couldn't believe how great I felt. I was actually thinking to myself "what are all of these girls complaining about, that was a piece of cake!"
However, by the time I hit a store for some Advil and got home, the cramps were pretty bad. They were in my stomach and in my lower back and they were pretty intense.. Taking the Advil took the edge off but they were still enough to make me stay on the couch all night.
Honestly though, it was no worse than a really bad month of period cramps. Well,, maybe a little, but now that it's over, it doesn't seem like it was as bad. I think because I have a nasty cold, it seemed worse.
Before I went to bed, I had to take more crotch medicine. This time, it was a little estrogen pill. I have to insert one every night for 2 months. I'm not sure how i feel about this, and I know that not all doctors prescribe this, but apparently it really cuts back the cramping and spotting. I'm willing to try! It's only 2 months, right?!

I'm happy to report that when I woke up this morning, I felt 100%!! I still have some spotting, but absolutely no cramping.. I am feeling a little dizzy but I think that is probably my head cold. (I just want to put that out there in case anyone else experiences it). I don't feel at all like I had anything done.

This morning I was so excited to think that I never have to see a condom again!! I never have to worry about a missed pill, and in a few months, I won't even have to worry about buying pads and tampons!!!
So far, I am extremely pleased with this whole process/procedure and I would do it again in a heartbeat..well maybe not a heartbeat,, but I think I would do it again!! lol

The only thing I wasn't pleased with was how my husband dealt with the whole situation. This is going to be a blog topic next week. Do you want a little preview? He didn't even ask how it went, didn't ask for details, and then invited people over to our house last night!! Yep,, he's SO sensitive to my needs!!

Monday, April 18, 2011

The Verdict is.....

You ladies must hate me! I told you that I would redeem myself and do another post the other day, and then I never got to it.. I apologize!!

I told you that I would tell you about my appointment at the gynecologist, so here we go!!

What I would really like to see happen!! lol
First let me say, that I love my gynecologist, he is awesome! He's always joking, being silly and just really knows how to make an awkward situation a little more comfortable.
I hadn't been to the office since my six week check up after Lylah so I didn't really know what to expect. I'd never seen him for anything unrelated to pregnancy (although I guess this kind of did) so I wasn't sure what to expect.

The nurse finally called me back and tol me to get on the scale!!!!
I said "Hey! I'm not pregnant!"
They all laughed at me and my doctor peeked his head out and said "ON THE SCALE!!". This is when he did a double take and said "ARE YOU PREGNANT?"
I said "God no!! That is why I'm here, so that we can make sure that never happens again!"
He laughed and said that Peter should be going for the SNIP SNIP then!!
I told him that I think Peter might try to squeeze one more out of me so I was there to make sure that doesn't happen..

My doctor is very pro vasectomy, so I knew that he would lecture me about that.I figure his wife must have sent him and now he wants the rest of the men in the world to suffer like he did! lol I was prepared for that though and had some arguments ready.

Once I finally got into the examination room, the nurse took by blood pressure and all that fun stuff and left me to wait.
As I sat waiting I noticed all of the "gear" for a PAP test.. including a little container with my name on it which verified the stuff was for me!! Panic set in,, I was there for a "chat" about birth control, not a physical!! Good lord!! I was trying to figure out how to talk myself out of this one!
The doc finally came in and we started chatting,, after much discussion, we decided that the Mirena IUD is the way to go..
I experience some pretty messed up, heavy cycles with a lot of pain every month, and he seems to think that this will stop all of that. He said if I had regular cycles that lasted 3-4 days, he would be telling me to get Peter fixed and not discussing anything with me!
He then said "So since we're going to do that, I'll save you getting naked twice.. you can just get naked the once when we insert it and save you from that.. We'll do everything all at once." lol
My response? "Gee thanks!"
He said "I don't understand why all of you girls are so uncomfortable getting naked in front of me? I've seen you naked! I've seen half of Guelph naked!"
I had to laugh! I know some girls would not be happy with him talking like that, but he cracks me up! It's so true. I laid on an operating table completely naked (50lbs heavier) twice in front of him and now I'm being shy about him seeing me from the waist down. I'm sure he doesn't even blink at a naked girl!!

So,,,, long story short, Tomorrow is the day! 1:15pm I'll be laying half naked in front of my doc having an IUD inserted.. I have to take pills tonight, and my crotch has to take pills tonight. Lovely eh? He says that I'll be pretty crampy but to take Tylenol. I guess these pills will start to open my cervix overnight..I know Lovely!!
I think that Peter is feeling pretty guilty about me having to go through all of this. His response when I told him everything "Wow,, it sounds like it might be easier for me to go!"
You think??
It probably would, but then I would still be left with really horrible periods every month, I'm hoping that within a couple of months I won't even have one. That alone is worth it to me.
I've heard a lot of horror stories on the Mirena, but I've also heard a lot of great stories, so I guess we'll see.. If it doesn't work, I'll have it taken out, and Peter will be going!!

I may not check in tomorrow, depending on how this all goes, but I will definitely be back on Wed. to let you know how this whole experience went...
Wish me luck!!!!

Friday, April 15, 2011

Milk in the Cupboard!!

So I think the best way to explain why there was no post yesterday is to just give you the conversation that Peter and I had when he got home last night..

I was sitting on the couch. More like slumped on the couch when he walked in. It was one of those days that all I did was look up with my eyes only,, basically to acknowledge that he walked in,, and then looked away again (poor guy,, like it's his fault i had a bad day).. Welcome home Honey!! He probably felt like running out the door.

P: "What's wrong?
S: "Today is one of those days that I could run out the door now that you're home, and not come back until tomorrow!"
P: "OH" (he always knows the right thing to say)

He brought dinner home, so I can't say anything too bad.
As we were trying to get organized for dinner, I hear him say "Wow,, you did have a tough day!"
As I turned around, he was laughing and pointing to the cupboard where the milk jug sat.
We all had a pretty good laugh at it, but it was still very obvious that mommy was at her breaking point if she opened a cupboard thinking it was the fridge, and put the milk away!!!

That's when I opened the wine!!

So,, my day was crazy yesterday and I just didn't get around to talking to you ladies.. I will however redeem myself. I will be back this afternoon to tell you all about my visit to the gyno and what big decision I made.. It's all very humorous really!!

Have a great day, enjoy the sun and make sure to check back later..

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

A migraine and the Gynecologist!

Hey Ladies,,

On top of sitting here drinking my coffee, fighting a migraine and stressing about seeing my gynecologist today, I was stressing about a topic to write about. I was also trying to pencil in a time to write it.. I have so much to do today. Finish laundry, clean the house, go to the Gynecologist, get Gracie a Princess costume for school tomorrow, (which may include getting to a dollar store) Fill her "sound bag" with household items beginning with the letter W(suggestions appreciated!), and figure out a quick dinner because we have to be in Kitchener tonight..  (Poor me eh?)

It was in the middle of this stressing, that I received the below email from my mom..
Before reading it, please know that although I was raised Catholic, I am not practicing and I don't have a strong religious belief.. I would tend to call myself more spiritual. So, please know that I am not posting this because of the religious meaning behind it. I just really think that it is something we should all read.
I hope that you enjoy it as much as I did. I think that I'll read it every time I'm having one of "these" days!!
Have a great day ladies and wish me luck, I'm going to the doc to discuss NEVER GETTING PREGNANT AGAIN and what my options are!! We'll discuss the results tomorrow!

It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, 'Can't you see I'm on the phone?' Obviously not; no one can see if I'm on the phone . . . . or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all. I'm invisible. The invisible Mom. Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more! Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this??

Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, 'What time is it?' 
I'm a satellite guide to answer, 'What number is the Disney Channel?' I'm a car to order, 'Right around 5:30, please.'

Some days I'm a crystal ball; 'Where's my other sock?, Where's my phone?, What's for dinner?'

I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history, music and literature -but now, they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She's going, she's going, she's gone!

One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England . She had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when she turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, 'I brought you this.' It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe . I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription: 'With admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.'

In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work: 1) No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names. 2) These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished. 3) They made great sacrifices and expected no credit. 4) The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.

A story of legend in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, 'Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof, No one will ever see it And the workman replied, 'Because God sees.'

I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was Almost as if I heard whispering, 'I see you. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does.

No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, no Cub Scout meeting, no last minute errand is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become.

I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on. The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.

When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, 'My Mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for 3 hours and presses all the linens for the table.' That would mean I'd built a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, he'd say, 'You're gonna love it there...'

As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible mothers.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011


I was talking with a friend last night, and the subject of doctors came up... I quickly decided that this would be my subject for today..

I will start by saying (and protecting myself) that there are A LOT of phenomenal doctors out there. The work they do helping people, usually goes under rated.. Like anything though, a few bad apples can ruin the bunch!!
My friend met a new doctor yesterday, this is what she had to say about him.

"He was a 100% douchebag (pardon the language LOL) and had no bedside manner at all. If he was having an "off" day, it was a doozy, because he ruined my day thats for sure." 

This is funny, in a way, but it isn't really. There is nothing worse than getting a stupid and or bad doctor when it comes to your kids.
I came across a few during my pregnancy, again when Gracie had pneumonia at 5 weeks old, and well,, almost every time I've seen a doctor since.
I totally understand that Dr's are Dr's and that we little people are just a number. They see everything, and they've seen our "issue" a million and one times. I get that!! But what I don't get, is why they don't sympathize with the fact that WE have never dealt with these issues before. Why they don't understand that it is OUR child, and we don't care how many other cases of it they've seen.

For example: The doctors in Hamilton obviously don't realize that I don't care if they're busy and that it takes a long time to get an appointment? Why though don't they have enough respect to call and at least let me know where we are in the process of getting Lylah in with a Doctor?
Maybe they see a thousand kids with heart issues, but I've only got one, and she just happens to be one that I love with all my heart. It's been two weeks since I've been told that my baby has to see a pediatric cardiologist and would you believe that no one has called me with any updates yet? That is not acceptable!!
I had to call three times and leave three not so nice messages  before I got a call back. They so nicely called back to let me know that "the referral has been made". That's it! Now I'm left to sit and wait while I watch my daughters arms turn blue day after day..
Compassion should be mandatory when it comes to pediatricians!!
I've dealt with bad doctors for simple things too. I've been left sitting in the waiting room (numerous times) with two kids for over and hour, and when I finally get in, I'm practically rushed out the door with no time left for questions.. Any concern just seems to be "that's normal", or "let us know if it's still like that next week"...
I always feel like saying "But, I'm here now,it's like that now, and I just entertained too children in your waiting room for an hour, so deal with it NOW!"

I'm going to end with another statement my friend made last night that pretty much sums up what I'm trying to say here today:

"thankfully this is the first douche i've had to deal with.. because when it comes to your children, we're going to have lots of questions and concerns and worries and want them seen NOW or YESTERDAY!, and if the Dr is too STUPID to know that and ease our fears, then as far as im concerned they are in the wrong profession." 

And really,, is that too much to ask??!!!

Monday, April 11, 2011

New Time Out Mamma!!!

I always said that I would "never" put my kids in time out.
I don't know why, I never had a good reason, never really gave it much thought, it just wasn't something I wanted to do with my kids.
Maybe it was because I was never put in time out as a kid. My parents never had to.. Good lord, we knew that tone in their voice, and if we heard it, we disappeared before they could get to us.

After this past week, and being at my wits end with Gracie, I gave in to "time out"..
I figured out that sending her to her room isn't a punishment because that is her safe place. No, she doesn't like being sent there, but it was never really a big deal, and after 5 minutes she'd just be singing away in her bed.
So,, I gave in! I moved her favourite little pink chair into the hallway. The hallway that is around the corner from our kitchen/family room. The chair sits between the laundry room and the powder room and when she's in it,, she really can't see anything.
She HATES it!!!!! (insert evil laugh!)
Whenever she does something deserving of "the chair", I don't say a word, I just pick her up and walk her over to the chair. I sit her down in it, and I walk away. She kicks, and screams, yells for Daddy to come save her and throws what ever is in reach. We just keep going back to her and tell that when the screaming and yelling stops,then we'll start thinking about her coming off the chair.
When she finally quiets down, I go to her, ask her why she was put there and then ask her if she has anything to say. I always get a sorry and a hug.... (and then my heart melts and I feel horrible!)

We don't call it "time out", we just say "you'll go to the pink chair!"
It was kind of funny because I actually saw her catching herself a couple of times over the weekend. She would "almost" have a fit, and then stop and say "I don't wanna go to the pink chair, do I mommy?" lol..
This was after only about 3 times in the chair!!

This morning, we didn't have one single fight. She didn't act out or end up in the chair once!

Could it really have been that easy all along?? Is this all I had to do??
What do you ladies use as punishment methods?? What works best for you, and are there any TimeOut tips that I should know about? Is it REALLY this easy?

I found these tips on Apparently I haven't been doing everything right, but hey, it's working!!

Time out is a strategy that can begin somewhere between 18 months and 2 years old. The following are some basic guidelines for a successful time out.
  • First, establish a time out spot. This should be a place that is out of the way. Part of the reason that time out works is that your little one will have to leave all the action and forfeit your attention to go sit in a corner. We use the dining room because we’re normally not in there often, and it has lots of chairs. Every time your child has a time out, make sure he goes to the same place. (It also might be helpful to have an upstairs and downstairs time out spot if you live in a two-story house.)
  • In most cases give your child a warning. For example, if she is not putting away the blocks after you told her to, you can say, “Sarah, if you do not put the block away right now, you will have a time out.” Then if she doesn’t respond, put her directly in time out. Of course, some offenses may need an immediate time out, such as hitting or throwing an object at a sibling.
  • Encourage your child to go to time out on their own, but if they won’t walk there, carry them. Make sure they know exactly why they are being put in time out. For example, “You are going to time out because you threw your food on the floor.”
  • A child should sit in time out one minute for each year of their age. Set a timer. This not only helps you, but your child will learn to hear the timer and know that time out is only over when the timer goes off.
  • Make sure your child stays in time out the whole time. Sam and I have had several 2 minute time outs that took 20 because he kept getting down off his chair to test his boundaries. Should your child get up from time out too early, just tell him that time out starts over and reset the timer.
  • Never back down off a time out. No matter how much whining, crying and moaning your child does, see that she spends the full amount of time on her chair.
  • When time out is over, have a talk with your child. Ask him why he was in time out. If he can’t tell you, you tell him. Then have him apologize to the wronged person. Finally end with a nice hug and kiss and an “I love you”. This lets your child know that you love them unconditionally.
  • Do not be afraid to find an impromptu time out spot while visiting another house or running errands. If your child learns you won’t give him time out when you are away from home you can expect he will use that to his advantage. We have found the bathroom and the car work well.

Sunday, April 10, 2011


Sorry Ladies,, I never should have said that I would do the blog on a Saturday.. Obviously, it didn't happen!!

I just wanted to let everyone know because I am so excited, that this blog has now been viewed over 5,500 times!! I can't believe it! Thanks again everyone for coming back every day to read about my crazy life. I hope we can continue on this "journey" together.
I'll continue posting as long as you ladies keep reading.

I also wanted to let you all know that I made some adjustments to the PAGES on this site. On each page now, you will find a COMMENTS section, so now you can add things you would like to them. Whether it be, Mommy Must Reads, Inspiration For Mommy, or Kids Say the Cutest Things. The pages seem to be sitting there with not much action, so I was hoping this would help..
I've also added a Discussion page. If anyone has a general question for other mommies out there, or something they want me to discuss, feel free to put it here. Basically, anything goes.. Maybe you just need to vent,, trust me, you'll feel better once you type it out,, so add it to the "Let's talk about It" page.... I'd love to get a discussion thread started to get everyone a little more active. I hate doing all the talking!! LOL!
Please also use this page if you have something you'd like me to add to the blog... or if you have a great idea for me!!

Thanks again ladies,, my next goal is 10,000!!!!! 
See you Monday!

Friday, April 8, 2011


Sorry I didn't get to this today ladies!! I'm going to try later on tonight, but if not, it will be tomorrow.. I'm going to tell you all about something that I've started doing that I swore I would never do as a mommy!!

Have a great night!

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Breath of Fresh Air!

K, so the only thing I'm doing today is bitching!!!  Some of you probably wont like it, I really don't care. I'm saying what I have to say!!

I dropped Gracie off at school this morning and headed out shopping with my Lylah. We decided to go to Georgetown because I wanted a HomeSense.
We had a very successful shopping morning. Mommy could have gotten into some serious trouble today, but I decided to be good.. (Until next payday!)
Anyway, we were having a great morning,, and then we left the store. On our way out the door,, we get hit in the face with a big cloud of cigarette smoke! AWESOME!! Just what I want blown in my 1 year old's face!!

Ignorant people!!

Okay Sarah, Suck it up, move on.

We went to the dollar store next. Got what we needed and left. What do we get when we walk out the door?? SMOKE IN THE FACE!!!! 2 middle age women (I would have tried to understand a little if they were teeny boppers) apparently out for their "smoke break" and coffee with not a concern in the world. They had no clue that their FILTH was blown right at us. That made me even more mad. If they had noticed and apologized, I wouldn't have to be ranting right now.

C'MON PEOPLE!!!!! I realize that it's spring, it's beautiful outside and you're out getting your "fresh air"! But please,, if you're going to smoke, step AWAY from the buildings. Go sit in your car with the window down or something, or go stand at the back of the building, but for the LOVE of god, don't stand in the middle of a very busy public place smoking.. Don't pollute MY fresh air! Don't pollute my 1 year olds fresh air!! If you want to fill your lungs with crap, go nuts,, but I would prefer if you didn't contribute to it entering my baby's lungs.
Have some consideration, some respect!!!

Isn't there a law on this?? Don't people have to stand so many feet away from buildings when they are smoking?
Why do these people think its okay? Do they not see that their smoke is blowing directly in the faces of people walking by?? Do they just not care??
I guess my point is this : Fine if you don't care that it's blowing in my face, but have some consideration for my little girl. Fine if you want to kill yourself, but go do it somewhere that we don't have to smell it or breathe it!!

I would say sorry to all of you smokers out there that maybe aren't guilty of this, but I'm not. The ignorant people out there that smoke have ruined it for the rest of you.
Feel free to leave your argument below if you don't agree with me. (or comments if you do)

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

A tough topic

I hate that I even have to post about this, but I'm sure in the end, it will benefit all of us. I hope that it benefits all of us.

Just recently, Gracie has become very interested in DEATH! I don't know where it came from and I don't know where she learned about it but I hear her talk about it at least once a day.

Two examples.
1. Driving home from my brother's the other night, we saw an ambulance. Right away, Gracie asked what it was. (she's seen them before but I think because it was night, it looked more interesting to her). Immediately we told her that it was an ambulance and that it picked up people who were sick or hurt and took them to the hospital.
She said "do people lay down in  there?"
"do people die in there?"

We were stunned! Where did this come from? How does she know this? Why is a 3 year old even thinking like this? And how in the Hell do I answer that question?

2. Peter was running out to do some errands on Saturday morning, and I told him to take the dog. When Gracie saw Peter getting her ready to go in the truck, she lost it.
She started crying and saying that Fergie had to stay home that she couldn't go because she was her best friend and that she didn't want her to die just like Winston did.
Winston was our last dog, he died about a year and a half ago. Apparently we scarred Gracie with the way that we dealt (or didn't deal with) explaining it to her..
It seems like the only thing she remembers is Winston leaving in the truck with Daddy that day and not coming home because he went to Heaven.
I don't blame her for not wanting Fergie to leave! The poor thing thinks that her best friend is going to heaven every time she leaves the house.
How scary for a little girl.

How could I have dealt with this differently?

One other thing that Gracie does lately, is lay down,very still with her eyes wide open staring (it's awful!) when I ask what she's doing, she says "I died"...

So, my question is,, how do we deal with the subject of death with our kids? When do we deal with the subject of death with our kids? Is there a right way? Is there a right time?

I think that in my case, something obviously needs to be talked about soon. She doesn't seem frightened by death, but she does seem very interested and confused.
I know that I don't want to wait until I am FORCED to explain things to her. "They" say the last thing that you want to do when you have grief of your own, is explain death to a child.
I think that I would rather have the talk now and then when a day comes that she is actually faced with it, she'll we'll all be a little better prepared.

Do I get a book? A movie, do I make it fun, or should it be serious? Do we do it as a family, or just her and I? Where do I do it??
AHHHH!!! No one should have to deal with this subject.
Heck, there are some days that I still don't fully understand death, and now I have to try to explain it to a 3 year old??

I personally don't ever remember learning about death, or being told about it for the first time. I have no clue where I learned about it.

There is no point in me writing more on this subject, I'm lost with it.
I talked to my sister about it this morning and said that for some reason the subject keeps coming up, so it must be the universe's way of telling me to deal with it, i just don't have a clue how? I don't want to screw my kids up or give them any sort of fear..but I also want them to be comfortable with it.

Help ladies, what are your thoughts? What are your opinions..

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Terrible.... what??!!

Honestly,,, whoever decided to call it the "Terrible 2's" couldn't have had a 3 year old!!!

2 was EASY compared to what I'm now going through. The talking back and sticking out the tongue, the ears that don't work, the dirty looks..... I don't remember any of that coming from a 2 year old!

I've been struggling with Gracie for the past couple of weeks.. I've been making excuses for her since we've had a rough month in this household. I just keep thinking she's acting out because she can feel the stress and doesn't know what to do with it. And... maybe that IS what's going on, however, I can't take it anymore. I feel like I'm dealing with a bratty teenager!
Where does a 3 year old get attitude like this from? She thinks nothing of throwing something at me, or pushing me out of her way and storming upstairs if I say something she doesn't like. This can't be a learned behavior, because she doesn't see anyone in this house behave like that.

Last night, we had our worst run in to date.

Gracie The angel had a nap yesterday because she needed one. She REALLY needed one! So,, of course, bedtime came and she "wasn't tired". We let her stay up a little bit late, and then went through the bedtime ritual. Surprisingly she went down really well.
I went downstairs and waited to hear the banging and running around that I normally hear, but SILENCE!!

WINNING!!!! lol (so we thought!)

About 2 hours later (10pm) I heard a little noise from the top of the stairs. I jumped up thinking that something was wrong, that she woke up sick or something. I went running and saw her sitting cross legged at the top of the stairs. From downstairs I asked her what was wrong and she said "I told you I'm not tired!" Ugghhh.
I start climbing the stairs to plop her back in bed like I normally do.
Only this time, when I get to the top of the stairs, I am greeted with something completely different than usual.
I see a blue Sharpie marker (that I've never seen before by the way!) laying behind her with the lid off. My eyes automatically go to Gracie. She has "painted" her nails blue! Grrr....... pain in the butt but not THAT big of a big deal. You can imagine I'm mad though, right? WAIT!!!
As I lean over to pick up the marker, my eyes catch my hallway wall. AND THEN I LOST IT!!!
Daddy is impressed with how great this is!! Grrrr....
Miss Gracie had obviously spent the last 2 hours creating a masterpiece with a Sharpie marker not only on her fingers, but on my wall!!
Somehow she also managed to get blue marker all over my washroom including my nice cream coloured bath mat.
She also destroyed her bedroom. How she managed to do that so quietly, i'll never know. All of her clothes were pulled out of her drawers, all of her stuffed animals pulled off of their shelf, and every toy in her room was pulled out.
How can that much destruction be done by such a little person??
It's staying like this until SHE cleans it!!!
I yelled, I screamed. She yelled, she screamed. But really, she didn't care.
When both of us finally calmed down, I went back in to explain why it was bad and that she knew better. I told her that I was going to put a lock on her door (the jury is still out on this one) and that if she was going to act like a baby and get out of her bed at night, she'll have to go back in a crib.
Do you want to know what her response was??
"It's okay that you screamed at me mommy, it was an accident!" (not an accident what she did, an accident that I yelled at her) "But do you remember, last week I told you not to scream at me ever again, it's bad!"
Really??!! She's 3!!!

I need help with how to deal with this,, maybe some of you ladies that have "been there, done this" could give me a lesson on how to deal with a bratty 3 year old without completely losing my temper. Also, any tips to make her stay in her room (and not destroy it!) I don't want to put a lock on her door, but it's pretty tempting right now.. I would unlock it as soon as i knew she was asleep, but I don't want her thinking she can't get out if she needs to.

HELP!! Somebody please help me with this!

Monday, April 4, 2011


Do you think I'd be the worst mother in the world if I told all of our family and friends not to buy the girls anymore toys???!
Okay, maybe not toys in general, but small toys. Like if the object has more than 2 pieces or if it is smaller than the average pop can,, we don't want it!!!
Would that be rude? Would that make me a mean mommy??

I am so sick of picking up little pieces and trying to find a home for all of the little pieces that belong to 100 different baby dolls.  I'm tired of trying to figure out what piece goes with what!
And then there are puzzles.. The puzzles that both girls love to open and DUMP all over the floor. The puzzles that are now all combined and could never be put together if we tried!!
OR... we could talk about stuffed animals. No word of a lie, we have hundreds of them. We've got monkeys, we've got bears, we've got fish, we've got cows, bunnies, ducks. Why do people love buying stuffed animals so much??
I don't want to sound ungrateful because I know the girls have loved every single gift that they've ever been given, and we appreciate everything we get,  but OMG!!!! We have too much stuff. Too many little things with too many pieces!

I'm probably guilty of buying some of this crap that covers my basement floor. For instance,  I was the genius that bought the most recent "craft kit" and had the awesome idea of creating a "craft area" in my basement.. The "area" is now the whole basement complete with glitter glue, pipe cleaners, googly eyes, felt, decals,beads and stickers. My basement looks like a friggin' craft bomb exploded.
Perfect example of what NOT to buy! I made this mistake!

I feel like I should go and personally apologize to all of the parents of kids that I have bought gifts for with a thousand pieces or that could be even a bit messy..
Even playdoh sucks!! How does it end up in so many little pieces all over my house?!

I'm proposing a new parent code!!! If something you look at for another child has more than 2 pieces or is smaller than a pop can, take your hands off of it and WALK AWAY!!!! Ask yourself if you would like your kid to have this gift. If the answer is no, WALK AWAY!!!

Let's try to put together some good gift ideas that won't drive mothers insane but that kids would still love. Any ideas??

I'm off to continue cleaning my basement now, hopefully I have enough garbage bags to get me through!!

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Sunday night


I just received this email!! Hilarious!!! This one simple picture, can sum up how I've been feeling all weekend!! How great that I got it when I most needed it!!! 

Friday, April 1, 2011

Nap time

The day was bound to come! I've been dreading it for a while. This week, however, was the worst week that it could have come.
It's officially time for Gracie's nap time to come to an end.
She will sleep for a couple of hours every day, with a little bribery, but then she is up running around until 10pm or later every night. Not cool!
As if the realization of this wasn't bad enough, I've come to accept that fact that I also have to stop putting Lylah down for her morning nap. Again, she'll sleep, but then she wants nothing to do with her afternoon nap.
I don't know about you guys, but I need that afternoon nap time! I'm not going to lie, I do my laundry and tidy up yes, but all while watching One Life to Live and General Hospital! Yep, i do! Don't judge!

I guess now if Gracie is going to be up, we're going to have a bit of a problem with that, aren't we? I will somehow have to convince her to play downstairs and put that TV on for her while I sneak upstairs to catch my shows.

You all realize what else this means right? IT means that I'm no longer going to have a single second to myself during the day. No more making a coffee, grabbing my laptop and plopping down to creep Facebook. No more morning emails while Lylah sleeps and Gracie is in school. Heck, my blog time is even at risk!

Obviously, i'm not quite as "accepting" of this "end of nap time" realization as some may be. In all honesty, I think it sucks!!
I'm looking for suggestions today. Does anyone have any ideas or tips to make this transition a little easier, or a way that I can keep naps? If not, some tips on how to keep my sanity would be greatly appreciated!

Have a great day ladies, I'm taking my girls shopping. I can't seem to find fake limes anywhere so the hunt is on!
I'd also like to Thank everyone who sent their concern for Lylah. She is doing fine, to me, she seems perfectly healthy. I'm hoping she IS perfectly healthy and this is all nothing. We are still waiting on a call to get our appointment time for Hamilton. In the meantime, Mommy is going crazy (literally) while waiting for the call.
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