Saturday Fav.... MOMMY 2¢

I knew that I was going to love this blog when I clicked on it, and saw this header...



The post that I'm using as my Saturday favourite is the first one that I read on this site, and that was all it took. I'm hooked!!

I'm sure you'll all enjoy it as much as I did. When you're done reading, make sure you pop over to the site to read some other posts.. to do that, CLICK HERE.

Am I the only one...?

There are so many times in a day I think to myself “Am I the only one…”



Am I the only one who finds themselves ignoring their kids to read blogs?

Am I the only one who looks forward to bedtime?

Am I the only one who is emotionally torn when 3 o’clock rolls around?

Am I the only one who despises laundry so bad that I’d rather clean toilets 

instead of folding laundry and putting it away?

Am I the only one who tells their kids that the mechanical horse at the 

grocery store is dead when going in entrance #1 so I don’t have to walk

all the way over to entrance #2 so they can ride it?

Am I the only one who tackles my kids to the ground and kisses their 

faces so much it makes them cry?

Am I the only one who thinks it’s AWESOME to jump out from behind 

things to scare people?

Am I the only one who’s a nervous wreck when anyone else is driving 

my kids around but me? Even my husband…especially my husband…

not a good driver!

Am I the only one who teaches the trust fall game from Tosh.o to 

their kids?

Am I the only one who tells my kids that an ambulance is on its
way to get me & take me to the hospital cuz they are being bad

and it's breaking my heart?

Am I the only one who uses an air horn to get my kids attention 

when my voice isn’t getting the job done?

Am I the only one who gets pissed at her kids when they get hurt

cuz 9.5 times out of 10 it’s because they’re doing something I’ve already

told them to stop?

Am I the only one who deprives my kids from Chucky Cheese because I
detest the place?

Am I the only one who has kids that hate to sit down and eat?

Am I the only one who throws those f*cking school fundraising packets
away that are constantly being sent home in my kids backpacks and writes 

a donation check the very next day?

Am I the only one who has a mini panic attack whenever their kids go on
fieldtrips further than 10 minutes away when riding in a school bus?

Am I the only one who doesn’t watch the Bachelor, Bachelorette, or
Dancing with the Stars?

Although, every single one of those thoughts has run through my head,

 most of it was just meant to be funny.  I am beyond blessed to have 2 

amazing & healthy (well…let’s say 1 & 1 ½ healthy) kids of whom I love 

dearly with all my heart despite the fact they can drive me a bit nuts at

 times.  There’s not a more sobering reminder to me of how lucky I am 

than when I read or hear about a sick child.  Cheryl from On the Old Path - 

Because of you, I gave my kids extra kisses tonight before bed and tried 

really hard not to get irate with them when they wouldn’t go to sleep.  

My thoughts & prayers are with you, your son Joel, and your family!

Have a great weekend ladies...
XO

Wordless Wednesday..

I know, I know! Technically this isn't *wordless*, but it's all I've got for today...

The perfect advice for today!!
XO

No post today!!! :(

Why you ask? Let me start, by repeating what I said to my hubby today..

"Any mom who says that working full time is harder than being a stay at home mom, can kiss my BUTT!" ~ don't be haters, I'm having a bad day.
Today my friends, I wanted to be a working mom.
Don't worry, it won't last!

Let me, help you, make sense of that statement...

A taste of my day.

1. Gracie is a bear! School is getting the best of her and she is one tired little brat monkey. I cannot even begin to guess how many meltdowns I experience today. HER NOT ME!

2. Lylah is a bear! I think the terrible two's have officially started. I swear she is my karma for saying that I didn't believe in terrible two's.. Gracie didn't go through that. Gracie is having her terrible two's at 4!!!

3.Gracie decided to redecorate her bedroom...... WITH TOOTHPASTE!!! She was supposed to be having a nap, but chose instead to steal mommies toothpaste and paint everything in her room. Her carpet, her walls, HERSELF!!!!

4. Lylah decided to redecorate my living room with BLACK enamel craft paint. Silly me for thinking that the company would have a seal under that lid...
That being said, I wasn't LETTING her play with the paint. She pushed a chair to the counter, climbed on it, and snagged my paint. What was I doing while she did all of this, you ask? Probably cleaning up TOOTHPASTE!! So, she got black paint on my carpet, my couch, my wood floor, and HERSELF!! All over HERSELF!

On top of all of that, I have a MOUNTAIN, no really, a mountain of laundry that I just can't find the motivation to do. Gracie even said to me today "Mommy, when we get home, can I keep climbing that mountain?" NICE!!!

Speaking of laundry.. Can someone please clarify WHO'S job it is to check and or empty the pockets in a pair of pants? If they are in the laundry hamper, ready for the wash, who should be checking those pockets???

That's it. I'm done. I feel much better now. Thanks for allowing me to vent..
Off to do some laundry..... or maybe just read some more blogs.

Goodnight ladies..

Mommy Tantrum

Okay. This isn't going to be a long post. In fact, this isn't really a post.

This my friends, is a CRY FOR HELP!!

I'm throwing my hands in the air! I'm done. I can't do it anymore.
I CANNOT deal with the tantrums and fits of an (almost) 4 year old.

I'm tired of screaming. I'm tired of fighting. I'm just really tired.

I try to be patient, I try to stay calm. I try not to yell..
I do!
I try, but I fail. I fail miserably.

And then I feel bad. I hate that I yell. I hate that I get mad, but honestly, that child can raise my blood pressure to levels I never knew possible.

I know all the basics. She's tired. She's testing me. Never give in. Never let her win. Walk away. Time out..
NONE OF IT WORKS!!!
Gracie isn't BAD. Not at all. She is just very strong willed. She knows what she wants and what she doesn't want, and no one is going to tell her different. She wants her own way, and she'll throw fits until... well,, I don't even know when because she never ends up getting it...
She knows how to play me, and she does it well.
It's like she wants me to yell at her...

I went to Chapters this morning and bought two new books. I'll give you an update on them later. For now though, i'm asking all of you for help. Suggestions? Anything!!

How do you deal with your toddler/preschooler and their tempers/ tantrums/ fits/ attitude??

I'm open to anything right now. I'm begging all of you for help.
I'm open to book suggestions too..
Maybe a book on how to be patient?? Wine isn't even doing the trick these days...

Someone? Anyone? PLEASE HELP!!!

SATURDAY FAV.....The Spit Up Chronicles

I read this post a couple of weeks ago, but never got the chance to share it with all of you.

Reading it stirred up a lot of old emotions and feelings. It really hit home.

The main reason that I started this site was to help other mommies know that they're not alone on this crazy journey.
I want mommies to know that it's OKAY not to be (what you think is) perfect..
Being a mommy is tough, being a mommy with PPD is even tougher..

Please hop over to visit this awesome site when you're done reading the post. I know that you'll all love Jessica over at THE SPIT UP CHRONICLES..
I wish that I could have been as brave as her when i became a new mommy.

I was too afraid, too proud to ask for help.. I wish that I could have read something like this at the time.
I didn't have a severe case, but I had some serious baby blues.. It wasn't fun. It was very lonely!

Enjoy, and please pass on to anyone you think may need to read this..

XO

PPD.
I repeated it over and over.

PPD. PPD. PPD. PPD.

I couldn't force my mind to grasp what it meant.

I went home and looked up the definition.

Postpartum Depression: A form of sever depression after delivery that requires treatment. It is sometimes said that PPD occurs 4 weeks after delivery but it can happen a few days or even months after childbirth. A woman with PPD may have feelings similiar to the baby blues-- sadness, despair, anxiety, irritability-- but she feels them much more strongly than she does with the baby blues. PPD often keeps her from doing the things she needs to do every day. 

I have PPD.

Had PPD? Do you ever really lose it?

I had the baby blues with B. I knew it, T knew it, everyone knew it. I loved B, adored B {and still do--fyi} but it was difficult.

So I was prepared to feel those same feelings when I had C. I actually didnt feel ANYTHING other than love and complete adoration for him. Until I hit the three month mark.

When he was 12 weeks old, I woke up one morning to him crying. I was irritated that he wouldn't stop. I got so mad, SO mad--I closed the door to his room and layed back down.

Dont judge me.

Almost immediately I felt horrible for what I did and walked in to pick up my crying baby and cried right along with him.

I figured it was just the exhaustion that caused me to be so irrational.

Things got slowly worse.

I didnt want to get out of bed at all. My house became a disaster {and if you know me, you know Im OCD about cleaning}. I was allowing the TV to be on in B's room at all times and not engaging with either of my kids for longer than a minute or two before becoming irritable.

I had horrible thoughts and feelings.

I felt like I was trapped inside my house with two kids, and I couldn't get out. I was ashamed of myself. I barely talked to T. I slept on the couch every night so he wouldn't touch me. I cried every day almost all day.

But still didn't think there was anything seriously wrong with me, making me feel this way.

I finally opened up to my mom, when she came over and forced it out of me. She's a nurse and deals with these things all the time.

I began talking with C's pediatrician about how I was feeling and she was able to prescribe me some medicine.

I remember about a week after I began taking the pills--I woke up one morning and jumped out of bed. I took a shower, made breakfast for the boys, started a load of laundry and made my bed. All before the kids were up.

This was the old Jessica. This is the me I thought I lost.

I struggled for two months before getting help. I feel like this is SUCH a huge problem for moms out there. I never thought PPD would hit me with my second pregnancy but the reality is--it can be your 10th pregnancy {Im talking to you, duggar wannabe} and you get a big ol PPD slap in the face.

Its ok to ask for help. Its not a sign of weakness.

Going to someone saved my marriage, my friendships, my family, and made me fall back in love with the three boys I adore most in this world.

I had to learn the hard way that it doesn't make me a bad mom to go on medicine to help me. I am still a good mom, in fact Im a damn GREAT mom. 

FRIDAY FIVE

I haven't done a Friday Five for a while!
Today's post will be things I've learned over the last little while, not necessarily this week..

1.UP ALL NIGHT ~ I knew that I was going to love it, but had no clue how much. Peter and I both loved it. We laughed and laughed. It's like watching our life on TV.. So funny! Every mom MUST watch.

2. I THOUGHT I WAS TOUGH~ I thought that I was a pro at dropping Gracie off at school. She went to Nursery school all last year, so JK drop off should be easy.. Plus.... I was ready for her to go....UNTIL the day came. I sobbed like a baby. Nothing I've ever done has been that hard.. :(

3. SOME PEOPLE ARE STUPID ~ Like really stupid!  Just sayin'!!

4. INDOOR SHOES~ should probably be called RUNNING SHOES!!! If you want my child to have running shoes,, please specify that. I was told she needed "indoor shoes". Naturally, I went and bought her the cutest pair of Mary Janes, only to be told that indoor shoes are to be RUNNING SHOES...so why not just say that??!!

5. CHEAP DIAPERS SUCK~  I discovered that buying cheaper (than Pampers) diapers is okay. I've tried a few different ones, and have been really surprised at how well they work. I really like the Fisher Price nighttime diapers.. Anyway, I ran out one day, so told my hubby to just grab some "cheap" ones on his way home.. He grabbed a $14 pack of the Teddy Bear brand... Yeah, they suck!! Every single morning, I wake up to a soaking wet toddler and soaking wet blankets/crib to wash. The sad part is, I'm so cheap I won't go buy new ones... I guess I shouldn't complain..


Have a great weekend ladies.. I will be back tomorrow with my Saturday Favourite!!

WANTED: MONEY!!

As I sit here thinking about work, and money, jobs, bills, I keep racking my brain, trying to think of something that I can do to make some money.

I know, I know!!! You're thinking, what mommy doesn't?
I realize that, but at the same time, I'm determined to do it.

I refuse to get a job.  I just can't do it. Judge all you want, but I just can't imagine paying someone close to $400 a week to watch my children while I go to work to make $500 a week..

Let's face it, I'm not a professional. I'm not going to go somewhere that I can make enough money to make it worth it.

I'm an Esthetician, and I do have a little home salon, but trying to find time for clients with a 4 and 2 year old is next to impossible.
Lots of people tell me to book appointments at night, but seriously, by the time 6pm hits. I'M DONE!!

I've thought about home daycare.. Can't do it! I can't handle my own kids most days let alone someone else's.
Before and After school only you say?? Yeah right, for $10 a day??? NO THANKS!!!
I'll manage to fit an eyebrow wax in for that money...

The whole blogging thing isn't working out (financially) the way that I would love it to, so that road has been traveled as well.....

So...in looking at my followers list, there are 172 of you that I think should be able to help me out.
I need some ideas...
Just throw them at me, no matter how silly they may sound..
I feel like I have thought of everything, but I know that I haven't.

What do you guys do, if anything to make some extra cash?

PRIVATE TALK... PART 2!

First of all.. thank you to all of you who commented on my last post..

I enjoyed reading all of the "names" you have for your kid's private parts/genitals/hoo-haws...lol

So here's the thing. For as long as I can remember, I've called "girl parts" a bird..

As in "My bird hurts".... or  "Make sure you wash your bird well"...
I know.
Some people think it's funny, but that's what it has always been.
I've always called boy parts (little boys) their "peter"...
I was really lucky that I got two girls because having a husband who's name is Peter could have made things a little awkward...

So... naturally, when I had my girls, I started referring to their birds, as THEIR BIRDS...
It's never been an issue...

Until this past Sunday night.....

We're sitting at my parents and Gracie announces "OWWW.... MY BIRD HURTS"
(personally I think that sounds cute)

Long story short, once the situation was dealt with, my mom says "Just imagine when Gracie is at school, and tells the teacher that her BIRD hurts."

YIKES...

I immediately (obviously, I'm a mom) got defensive, and responded with "I'm sure that the teacher will hear a lot worse names than BIRD."
A few times that night I heard my mom refer to it as "fanny"... which I've heard before but never have we used.. Heck, she's always said bird too...

The subject was dropped, and everyone moved on...

I can't stop thinking about it though... Do I use the wrong name? Should I change what Gracie knows and start calling it something else?

I don't think BIRD is offensive in any way. I would hate to think that it is demeaning.
For me, it's always just been a name that makes sense to kids. (well, maybe it doesn't make sense, but it works)

I mean, really, I could see the problem if she was running around calling it her "COOCH" ,"PUSS", or "BEAVER" (although, those are all funny options)

I think if I were a teacher, I'd spit out my coffee a lot faster if a little girl came up to me and said
" MY VULVA HURTS"....lol..
I now know that's the proper term (Thanks Mrs. Moose), but to me it sounds more vulgar than BIRD?? NO???

I don't know what to do... I'm torn. Part of me wants to just keep things as they are. Really, it's no one else's business what we call things. It's not like our chosen name is offensive or disrespectful in anyway. It's just a name we've chosen..

The other part of me thinks that I should probably start referring to it as something different.

I think that we might just have a talk about what we call it to other people.. If she has to talk to her teacher about it, we'll call it her "privates"..
I don't want her running around talking about it anyway.. It should be private in my eyes..

If she has a problem with it, that is one thing, but I don't want to encourage her to go around talking about it...

Who would have known that this could be such a hard thing to figure out...

Maybe I should just go with Oprah and get her to call it her "VA-JAY-JAY"??!!!!

All opinions and suggestions would be appreciated..


**UPDATE**~ I think that I just found my answer online... As much fun as we might have with this subject, is could actually be very serious. Here is a great little response that I found on a message board.. Many of our minds might be changed after reading this... I've never looked at it this way before...

This question is WAY more important than you think it is. And I'll tell you why:

Though no parent likes the idea, children do get molested. It is at best a very embarassing thing for the child, and they are usually threatened or bribed to keep quiet about it. It is not unreasonable at all that your child may only make ONE attempt to tell someone else what is going on. You MUST make EVERY effort to make sure that that one attempt, if it ever has to occur, is ABSOLUTELY SUCCESSFUL.

Since that is the case, you do not want your child to say, "My uncle was touching my kitty". Somone unfamiliar with your special euphemisms will have no idea what your child is talking about, and may even make things worse by saying something like, "That's okay - most kittens like to be petted." YOU MUST NOT ALLOW THIS TO HAPPEN.

I'm sorry if I am sounding paranoid or sensationalist, but you really must think of what's lying on the scales here. A minor discomfort for you versus years of ongoing abuse for your child. For a good parent, there is really no chioce to make... your child's safety MUST take precedence. PLEASE teach your child appropriate terms. I beg you...

PRIVATE TALK...

OKAY!!

I need everyone's help with something...

It could be a touchy subject, we'll see..

I need to know what everyone refers to their children's private parts as??

Also, is what you call them at home, what you call them in public? Is what you call them at home what the kids would call them at school??

I'm struggling! I'm starting to think that what we call it in this house isn't appropriate??
Yikes..

I didn't worry about it until my mom put it into my head,, that it might not be the "right" word..

I'll explain more, once I get all of your responses....

So please, HELP!!!!

Do I call it by the book? Can i have a "name" for it? What do I do???!!!

AHHH!!!!

I'd like to hear opinions on both boys and girl's "PARTS".... Please!!

....And Thank you...

I Hate People..Well, Rude people!

This is kind of another back to school post, but not really.

I'd like to think of it as more of a I HATE PEOPLE post... (Just saying that already makes me feel a little better)


Gracie had her first 1 hour meet and greet with the teacher and 3 other students yesterday.

We arrived at the school a little early, and had to wait outside.

Upon arriving, there was a group of parents and kids also waiting outside. I learned later that most of these were kids and parents from other classes. Thank God!

I approached the group with a smile on my face. Gracie approached with her head stuffed in her vest. (Suddenly, my child turned shy. That's okay.)

My smile and Gracie's shyness were not greeted with smiles from other parents and children.

NOPE!

My smile and her shyness were greeted with "the eye".  Looks up and down.
I felt like we were the enemy entering someone else's territory.

These looks didn't come from the kids. The kids didn't even know we walked through the gates.
The looks were from all of the other parents. ( I should stick up for a couple of moms that said hello and at least tried!)

What do you suppose they were looking at? Were they wondering if we were some sort of terrorists sneaking into the JK class??  Were they already comparing clothes?
Were they thinking how beautiful and smart my child looked compared to theirs??
Maybe they were just thinking how beautiful and smart I looked?!! BAHAHahaha....

 Like seriously people. GROW UP!!! You've never seen another mom and her 3 year old before?
Take a look and move on!
I know that Gracie even sensed the looks because she quickly grabbed a hold of my leg and wouldn't look up..

We finally got called in, and once inside, it was no better.

Now my way of thinking, is that we're probably going to be spending the next two years with these people (maybe the next 8), so let's be friendly, make some small talk and help our children feel comfortable.
I don't want to be your friend, but being friendly shouldn't kill us!
Apparently no one else felt that way.
Everyone stuck to themselves, with their kids, and that was that.

Oh,I can't believe that I didn't mention this yet! Do you all remember the LITTLE GIRL FROM THE PARK?? Yep, that one! The one that stood up and turned her back to my baby?
Well.... she's in her class..
Her snotty nosed mother was also there. She's STILL snotty nosed!!!

I still tried. Gracie STILL tried..

When we were packing up to leave, I told Gracie that she should say goodbye to - lets call her,  *Emma* - Gracie quickly said "Goodbye *Emma*.
What did the little girl do? Turn up her nose, turn and walk away.
What did her mom do?
She took her hand and walked away with her!!!

OH YES SHE DID!!!!!

PISS ME RIGHT OFF!!

On the way out, the next group of children and parents were coming in.
All of them had blank stares and could fake a smile if they tried...
Unbelievable!!

You know what I say? Screw them!!
I'm going to continue being my smiling, friendly self. I will continue to encourage my daughter to be the same.
If they don't like it, tough!!

Miserable people can stay miserable, they can keep treating us like crap, but they WILL NOT BRING US DOWN!!!!

That being said, it could be a very long year!!
XO

OH P.S~ Did I mention that the JK teacher didn't even give me the warm fuzzies?? She wasn't the warm fuzzy type of person that you would expect to be teaching your 3/4 year old, that's for sure!!

WHAT IF....

I'm not going to lie... All of the back to school posts are driving me crazy..

Enough already!!!

I want the good stuff back.
The gossip, the husband hate, the pulling my hair out, psycho mommy posts!!
Where have you ladies gone??!!!

I've been thinking these thoughts for that last few weeks......., and then tonight came.

The night before I take my baby to "real" school, for the first time.

The thoughts started flowing.......

How do I walk such an innocent little human being into the BIG BAD WORLD of a school.

I have so many thoughts, concerns, fears. I feel nauseous even writing this.

She's my baby. My first born.

How do I put her into someone else's hands? How do I walk away?

What if she NEEDS me?

What if she's bad?

What if she can't wipe her own bum?

What if she can't do up her coat?

What if she doesn't understand something?

What if kids don't like her?

What if she NEEDS me?

What if she's mean?

What if kids laugh at her?

What if she needs help and is too afraid to ask?

What if she feels scared?

What if she cries?

What if she needs me?

What if she misses her sister?

What if she's not as smart as the other kids?

What if she says something and the teacher calls children's aid on me? (for real though?)


What if she's just not ready?

What if she gets into trouble?

What if she NEEDS me?

What if the teacher says something bad about her?

What if it's all just too much?

What if she gets frustrated?

What if she gets mad?

What if she misses me?

What if she NEEDS me?

Honestly, these What if's have been keeping me awake at night.
Especially the What if she NEEDS ME?

I don't want her to ever lose that feeling of Needing Mommy. 
I love that she still truly believes that she needs me.
I love that I truly believe she needs me.

And now.. I realize my biggest fear.

What if SHE DOESN'T MISS ME?
What if SHE DOESN'T NEED ME?

Oh God, What if she doesn't NEED ME???

How am I ever going to get through this??

Special thanks to Shell, as always, for letting me "POUR MY HEART OUT"

XO

The King's Birthday

How many of you remember my birthday this year??

For those of you that don't, you may want to READ THIS first, before reading on.

It's funny you know, as I was driving around today, I thought back 3 months to my birthday, and couldn't help but ask myself what the hell I was thinking..

It's Peter's birthday today. 36!! Doesn't that sound old? Yikes!

Anyway, I had a little surprise party for him on Saturday night. I pulled it off quiet well and he was very happy with it.

All last week,  I ran around like a chicken with my head cut off. I made sure there was lots of food, including all of his favourites. I bought his favourite booze. I even emailed and called people to make sure all bases were covered.

I spent Saturday morning doing last minute shopping and then headed to my parents house to prepare food, and jello shooters.. I snuck/sneaked (??)  his clothes and booze out of the house, along with a packed bag of everything/anything that he might want or need when he gets there.

Oh, and don't forget a bag that was packed with everything the girls and I would need...because we'd be spending the night..

I should remind you that I accomplished all of these tasks with child in tow... Yep!!

After preparing everything, I went home and cleaned the house top to bottom.
(He thought we were having people over, and if I didn't clean the house like a psycho, he would have caught on)

Long story short. The party was great. He had way too much fun and spent the rest of the LONG weekend on the couch.
(Smart girl eh? Plan him as party and lose him for the weekend.. Someone please remind me not to do that again....EVER!)


Today comes.
His REAL birthday.
What do I do?
Tell him that he already had his "birthday" and go on with my day like normal?
Hell no!
I Run around like a chicken with my head off again, planning the perfect dinner, buying the perfect gift, the perfect wine, and now baking the perfect damn cake.

I ran around town today, with two NASTY, bratty children to give the guy who sucks at birthdays "the perfect second birthday".

Why do I do this you ask? I mean, you probably read my post about my "not so perfect" birthdays, so it seems strange that I would go to all of this trouble. Right?

I do it because I love this man more than anyone in the whole world. More than I ever could have imagined possible.
And, even if he drives me crazy at times and really doesn't get it most of the time, I love him.

He deserves ever bit of special that the girls and I have put into his day.
Plus it's an excuse to have wine at dinner...
Oh, and the fact that I'm praying that if I make his day extraordinary, he might, just maybe, put a little extra thought and effort into my day next year.... lol


You didn't think I would do all of that without a little ulterior motive now did you???

XO

Friday...

I officially suck!!

I can't seem to get my blogging act together...

So many things are going on right now and this site is suffering..... really suffering...like really really suffering....

Anyway, I didn't get to the post that I promised you yesterday, and I don't even have it in me to do my Friday Five today... (I guess this is just another example of being a super busy mommy that can't keep it together!)
I'm sure you all understand...  You do...... right??!

I figure that the least I can do is give you something entertaining to read... even if it isn't mine.....

SO.... ENJOY!!!! I love it!!!

Have a great weekend.... and you're welcome for the smiles.... now make sure you don't give up on me!
XO