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Wednesday, February 8, 2012

NOT DOING MY JOB...

Lylah has still been having a lot of issues with her bowels and tummy..

Last week, we saw our family physician. Actually, we didn't see him, we saw his very arrogant "resident doctor". As I listed my concerns with Lylah, she pretty much laughed in my face..

No need to get into details, but she basically told me that, alternating constipation/diarrhea, daily tummy aches that cause tears, gas, excessive thirst and sleeping a lot are all quite normal for a 2 year old.
I ended up storming out of the office in tears stating that they were idiots.. (oops!)
Later that day, they called and said that they were arranging for a follow up with a pediatrician.

I was happy. Don't get excited, happiness didn't last long.

Yesterday, we met with the pediatrician.. Actually, we didn't see him, we saw his very arrogant "resident doctor". (sound familiar?)
Again, as I listed my concerns with Lylah, she smirked and looked at me like I was an idiot.
Again, she stated that "all of these things are quite normal".

I want to share with you what she "thinks"...
Lylah won't eat because: I give her too much to drink. She's filling up on drinks.
Lylah isn't thirsty all the time: she's just used to having drinks.
Lylah is constipated because: I am not giving her proper meals.
Lylah doesn't really have diarrhea on those alternating days: it is, in fact a back up from the constipation that oozes out.. (Even though it can fill a diaper and go right up her back,, it's just backup.. sure!)
Lylah has dark circles under her eyes because: she has environmental allergies and unfortunately she'll just have to live with that..
Lylah pees excessive amounts because: I give her way too much to drink.

So.. my appointment then turned into a parenting 101 class, taught by some idiot doctor who doesn't even have children (I asked!) Apparently her text books have more knowledge than a mother's instinct or experience.

So. here are her recommendations..

I should make my children sit at the table for no less than 20 minutes, If she doesn't eat her dinner, she gets (get this) NOTHING to eat or drink for the rest of the night.

I shouldn't give my children a drink with their meals. Food only.

I should only be giving my children one or two drinks A DAY. It should only be water, milk or diluted fruit juice.

Children shouldn't be able to have a drink available to them at all times..

She then told me that I really need to figure my daughters diet out because she's in the 10th percentile for her weight. She stated that this "concerned" her and she was a little worried about undernourishment.

I don't know if you as mothers would feel the same way as I did while sitting in that office, but I felt like someone was repeatedly kicking me in the gut.
I felt like these doctors were looking at me, thinking that I'm not feeding my daughter and that I'm not doing a good job as a mother. That the reason my daughter is having health problems is because of things that I am or am not doing.

It was horrifying, and it was definitely on the top 5 list for worst moments of my life.
I have never felt so discouraged and "little" in all my life.

So, now I have a 2 year old who weighs 22lbs, has constant diarrhea/constipation, constant belly aches, dark under eye circles, gas, and no one who wants to help her..

On top of that, it looks like she's got a mommy who isn't taking very good care of her at all...

I've decided that I'm pretty much done with "physicians"...
I've also decided that as a "bad mommy" I am not prepared to accept any of these issues as NORMAL. I am not going to accept that my daughter doesn't feel good every day, and I'm not going to sit back and let the doctors fluff it off because they really have no clue what it might be.

I am now looking into finding some natural practitioners, food allergists etc. that can give insight.
In the meantime, I'm interested in hearing any suggestions or input that any of you might have.. Any personal experiences or advice would be appreciated..
Thanks in advance..
XO

143 comments:

Victoria said...

Wow,that is tough! The only thing that I would suggest is creating a food journal for her. Keep track of everything that you give her, foods, water, juice, ect. Then you have a visual refernce when you talk to the people you WANT to about it. I personally do not allow any drinks until AFTER meals and snacks are finished. And the kids are not allowed to just have a drink when ever they want, they fill up on liquids then do not want to eat. Just my experience as a mom and care provider. I also set an allowed time to eat, and if you do not eat your food in the time given, then no you don't get a snack 10 mins later when you decide you are hungry. They learn REALLY fast that food is available WHEN it is served, not WHEN YOU want. My Mom was very strick with food, and I guess I have learned that from her. I really don't agree with how she delt with the issues either, I would be SOOO upset!

RoryBore said...

I would definitely be seeing someone other professional. whether it be another Dr. ped specialist, dietician, homeo...etc. Even if she did fill up on drinks, that shouldn't lead to diarehha? Or constipation. To me, excessive diarehha indicates a problem that needs further investigation.
I do agree with setting a specific time for meals, and only give a bit of juice/water/milk with the meal -- just enough for a couple of swallows. I don't like eating without something to "wash it down" with - so I wouldn't make them. And I definitely make sure they don't fill up between meals. But a child should be hungry - an no amount of juice can mask that forever. They should eventually want FOOD.
I think you are wise to follow your instincts and continue figthing for your daughter. Trusts those instincts and make someone listen.

Inda Nila said...

Wow that doctor sure sounds like a quack, my daughter had the same issues and continues to be underweight. My pediatrician told me to find what she likes to eat and give her that. She also drinks Pediasure in the mornings. She will be six in April and weighs 32 pounds. For a while I was worried but she is growing taller and I was really scrawny as a child. Be encouraged!!!
www.questofthenocturnalbaker.blogspot.com

Bestfoodies said...

So first of all ...you are not a bad mommy. When my daughter was born she was sick right from the get go. I went to the pediatric dr. twice a week (who incidentaly was also the head neonatal dr at this hospital) who repeatively told me I was over protective and sensitive and that being the mother of two I should no better and that she was fine. She ended up in the hospital for 7 days at one point and he said she would never get this Rotovirus again...well guess again...after running to them over and over and getting no sleep and her crying all day and only being able to breathe as long as I was holding her upright...yes I slept like that and passing her to daddy so I could eat and him to me for same I finally called another pediatrician, they could her screaming and crying I explained all the vomiting and loose runny bowels and stopped up noise and breathing weird and they said don't even change her just wrap her up and come right in. When the Dr. came in he looked at me like the anti christ and said "has this baby seen a Dr." at this point I broke down crying and said well yes and please don't tell me nothing is wrong I have been at the Dr. twice a week for monthes. He hugged me and said quite the opposite that she could have to go to the hospital. He started her on some meds and we did end up going to the hospital 2 days later when she didn't improve. Turns out rotovirus again as well as allergic to her own urine, formula, just to start...she lived on pedialyte (spelling?) but thrived. She had to be changed as soon as she wet. She was allergic to soaps, shampoos, lotions you name it. She also had ear infections constantly and irritable bowl syndrome. At two she was tested and it was unreal, but through it all his most important message to me was that I knew her better than anyone and that he trusted what I was saying and would help me through her being so sick. She did really well, gained weight, started sleeping, She is all grown up now and is a nurse. She still has some health issues but all and all she is a vibrate beautiful young lady and my best advice to you is to continue seeking...ask moms in your area who they reccomend and trust. And remember...this too shall pass!

Melissa Puli said...

Hello Sarah! I'm a new to your blog and love it! Thank you for your honesty. It's nice to know there are other mums like me out there! Melissa from melissapuliphotography.blogspot.com (Australia)

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sherry wills said...

I recommend checking with a nutritionist. Constipation in children can be attributed to dehydration and lacking of fiber in the diet. Or perhaps consult a detox therapy known as colonic irrigation melbourne if problem persists.

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